Him and I: Her Version

Jeans, Nike footwear, hoodie, yes I'm sorted for the evening. This is certainly the most comfortable outfit I want to wear tonight to this party. Oh but what can you expect from a 17 year old? Little did I know my life was about to be changed.

As I stepped in the door to congratulate my friend on her matric ball I noticed her matric partner. This guy came closer and introduced himself to me. Oh my, but was he handsome. There he was, like something out of a magazine, tall and so damn attractive. His bright green eyes suddenly did something to me. It felt like for a moment there I lost myself. What was I doing staring so deep into this man's eyes? " Maya get your marbles together" I whispered to myself. To keep my cool I had to talk to the guy and not just stand there like a dumb idiot. I couldn't keep myself in and had to compliment his eyes. He smiled and said I have a beautiful smile. As I am feeling my cheeks getting red, my friend suggested that we take some photos. Thank god this girl saved me from getting embarrassed. The 3 of us took a picture together. He suggested that he will stand in the middle of us two. As I stand next to him, he gently puts his hand on my waist. I could feel he was hesitant of what I would say. Well truth be told I did not mind at all.

Later that night we started talking. Of course we were going to exchange some words. As we were a small group of people, we had to talk to one another. Eventually he and I exchanged numbers. As we were smoking the hookah he was sitting right next to me. I could feel him staring at me. The discomfort led me to look at him. As I was pulling a big gulp of smoke he asked me to blow it in his mouth. Rather than thinking twice about this, I didn't hesitate. It felt like I was in a trance or some sort of a dream but I knew it was very real and the moment his lips touched mine, "Oh goodness grace tell him you want to give your soul to him", my inner self interrupted me, it was magic. For a moment there my world stood still. His lips were so warm and juicy. Of course I had to keep myself in and I just gave him a slight smile after the lip lock.

Some days later we started messaging each other and finally did meet up, or should I say meet again? He actually asked me to be his girlfriend on our first date. Now it may seem weird but we have already been messaging for days and I think our feelings were mutual on the night that we first met. Days turned into months. We laughed together. We cried together. We argued together. On days where an apology could not be spoken, I got a white rose. On days where the words I love you was not enough, I would get a red rose. No one could make me feel the way he did. No one could make my heart beat as fast as he did. Somehow I knew that I would be loving this man till eternity. Saying I love you was not enough. Holding him tight was my happy place.

Then came the end, or was it? We had a huge argument that eventually led to us breaking up. His siblings blocked me on social media and so did he. What can I say? I was heartbroken, I was sad, I was unhappy? No! I was devastated, my heart felt like it was ripped from my chest and someone stomped on it as it scattered into a million pieces. I couldn't eat for days. My body felt like it wanted to give up.

I finally learned to live with the pain and slowly started to take my life back. Almost a year after the break up, I heard a knock on my door. As I opened the door, there he was. Starring me right in the eye with his bright green eyes, I couldn't believe my eyes. I wanted to run to him and ask him to never let me go again but I couldn't. But what was he doing in front of my door? Without exchanging words I knew he had something to say, so I went out to him and closed the door behind me. There we were, again in each other's arms. He didn't have much to say. I knew he had a new girlfriend but I think we both needed to see each other so badly even if we didn't talk much. Once again he disappeared from my life.

Another year went by with no communication or seeing each other. I moved to another city. I was about to move on with my life, then there he was again. I received a message from him asking me where I am because he was again at my house to look for me. This time I was hundreds of miles away from him. He told me that I should come and that we would be together. There I was again running back to him like a puppy in desperate need of an owner. Only to discover when I got there that he was cold and didn't keep his promises. What did this man want from me? Why is he always getting back to me? Is he toying with me? I had to know. So I messaged his close friend and asked him if he was talking about me to him. This man replied to me saying "I don't want to bluff but he dead serious loves you. He talks about you a lot and how he misses you." These words made me confused because why is he not taking me back? What is stopping him?

Years passed without communication or seeing each other. His siblings unblocked me on social media. What is going on?

To be continued.