Hey Mom....this will be interesting

Hey Mom, it’s me…

I know that we don’t always see eye to eye on everything, especially with what has happened between us recently. Just know that I still love you. I know that I don’t say that as much as I should, but I really do love you. You taught me to be a hard-working woman with impeccable discipline but sometimes I feel like I have let you down and maybe that I was never good enough for you. No matter how much I try, I thought that my love was never enough to make you laugh or to even see you smile genuinely without sarcasm or to even consider that my love was not a joke. I could give you the best gift in the world for Mother’s Day, but you will still believe I was never there. I know that you have suffered a traumatic injury to the head and have gone through things that I have never known of and I will always be thankful for your sacrifices that it took to raise me.

Because of you, I am not ungrateful or rude like you think I am. Because of you, I am self-sufficient and will never give up easily when it gets hard to deal with life. You have taught me to fight for what I believe in and to stand up for my own voice. So, thank you. I thank you for treating me in the ways that you have done within these past two years. Now, I know how to be resilient in all circumstances and hardships that may come in between my relationships with others in the future.

Mom, even though we are not close as we used to be. I am writing this letter to you in the hopes of starting something brand new. This marks the countdown to me going to the Air force which you have no idea about. You have no idea that I will soon be shipped off to basic training as soon as I have a job opening. Hopefully, I get the job that I want. As soon as you hear this, I wonder how you would react. I think you might be furious because I told everyone else and I did not tell you about it first. Then, you would become excited and would start to fantasize about how much money I would be making. Sad to say, I would not know how much I would be making until I get the job.

Now there is more stuff that you do not about. You have yet to hear about my guy drama and the time when I bought my first condoms. I admit that I had no idea what I was doing. I was dabbling in things that were considered taboo in our strict Christian home. I tried sexting for the first time and almost slept with someone. Yikes! My virginity could have been taken in one night and I could have ended up pregnant by an illegal immigrant! Another obvious secret that I kept hidden from you is that I am currently writing this letter. This letter will have many juicy and raw secrets that you would not believe unless you saw me doing these acts in front of you. I have always acted like I was so innocent but, I was a mess. It would be something if I tried drugs, that would be a different story entirely. Even more, I want to marry my cousin who is as old as you! Mom, how did I end up here? I was supposed to be doing better but I went backward.

Mom, I am about to go to Trinidad to meet the man of my life. He seems sweet and I want to see if he is the same man I think he is. We are both excited to see each other and he seems like he is willing to do anything for me. I love him a lot. I think he loves me too. After all, he has all the right words to calm me down and everything he says makes sense.

To tell you the truth, I know that you tried to set me up with someone else. But I don’t like him. We don’t click very well, and he doesn’t ask me about anything else. He is not as interested in me as you think. I believe he lies about a few things and I think he is trouble. He may have asked you if he could marry me but I think he may be speaking to other people.

Mom, I know that I am supposed to be writing a letter to you, but I am also sharing a few personal secrets of my own with the world as well. Dear readers, know that I am not perfect, and I will never be. Am I proud of my decisions lately? Have I doubted my self-esteem a little bit? Maybe. But I am young, and I am still finding out about who I am. After all, we are all on an adventure.