Fear...

What is holding me back from my goals and manifestations? Why is it all bullshit i need to get over?

Fear of failure

This is complete and total bullshit. Everybody fails at something and for this, ill only fail if i don't try. People will love the clothes if i can get them in their hands and I am going to do whatever I can to blow up online so i can make it into a storefront in a year.

Also, fuck the people who are going to put you down if you don't succeed. Prove them wrong and tell them to fuck off. Everybody deserves a chance to be happy and pursue their dreams. PLUS the people who normally tell you that its not a good idea or that you should do something else are the ones who wish they were doing what you were doing and starting where you are starting. They wish they would have started sooner and are trying to push their own insecurities onto you. Don't fucking listen to them. Push through and do what you know you should be doing. Listen to your heart and your soul and see if they are pointing you in the right direction. Chances are that if you are reading/listening to this then you know what the answer is and you know what to do. Your gut is trying to tell you something and its trying to push you in the direction of your destiny. Listen to it. It may not happen in the time that you want it to happen but the universe works in mysterious ways. Trust the process and trust that what is meant to be will happen in time. Now this doesn't mean that you can just stop, throw your hands up to the sky and say “universe help me”. No. this means that you need to keep working towards your goals every day. Asking the universe for guidance and help showing you the right path and perseverance that with consistency and faith it will all happen in time. Now this is MUCH easier said than done. I have a horrible habit of doubting myself and my abilities when in reality, I'm pretty fucking great and i do deserve good things that are coming my way. No matter what anybody says or how much I have been put down in the past, it doesn't matter in the end because I am going to be successful and prove them wrong damnit. I am determined to be the best version of myself and when I picture the best version of myself in my head i think of confident, in shape mal strolling down the streets of NYC with Kona. Thinking of how to improve my business but not worried about money because i know that i have a life of abundance and good things will continue to come to me. I may doubt it at times but i do have a life of abundance, even now. I can pay all my bills, i eat well, i have good friends and a good puppy. Life only gets better from here because that's what I'm going to manifest into reality. This next year is going to hold a lot of ups and downs but in the end it will be all worth it because it will end with me doing something i really want to do. I may doubt myself at times during the journey of self discovery and this journey of starting my boutique but i KNOW that I got this and I will succeed. I will be successful because there's no way I'm not going to be. Even if it takes me a while, i am going to keep working on it until my life is full of abundance in all ways. Abundance of happiness, an abundance of love, an abundance of money, and an abundance of life. I am tired of being tired and this cant go on forever so something has to shift and change. That shift is going to be in my career. As i get older I realize that not everybody is cut out to do a 9-5 corporate job. For some reason, as we grow up, our parents always instill in us that the right thing to do is to go to college, get a stable, 9-5 corporate job for a good company, stay there until you're 65 and then retire. WHY this is the case i have no idea. Now, if that's what you want to do, then more power to you because I just cant. I have zero desire to do that. Mainly because I want freedom. Freedom of my time, freedom to not answer to anybody, freedom to come and go as i please, and the freedom to write myself my own paycheck.