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Fake It till Ya Make It!

oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

By C. M. SearsPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 6 min read
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Me loving God's Country!

The title of the story, was me all of my life, I faked it till I thought I made it, but really all I did was fake it.

I decided at a very young age that I could fake it and make it believable.

Guess what? it totally worked, I was so convincing that I believed my own bullshit! I got so good at telling bullshit stories about me to everyone that I didn't even realize that in the midst of my lies, I had forgotten, or for lack of a better term, twisted the true stories with such distortion that I could no longer remember the truth beneath the lies. This was the beginning of me learning the art of deceitfulness.

By Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

I could tell anyone anything, as long as I was believing it myself, they would! It was incredible the lines of crap I spewed at these poor innocent people, who just wanted to hear my harrowing story, and it just never ended. Matter of fact, it got worse!

I would lie so hard that I could make people cry, and I would too for that extra touch of believability, I could make them laugh and by the time I was done, I was living with them...for free, for months, no worries, and no job or money. I could make people believe that I was unable to work because I was never taught anything or that I was somehow disabled, you know self victimizing. So, how was I to work with absolutely no skills whatsoever? I was a poor urchin child with no shoes upon my poor bloodied feet...or so I made them think. I grew up watching and learning from the very best liar and manipulator in the world...my mother (the liar, cheat, and prostitute, but not for money, she did that for rent).

Even when I told the truth, I somehow had to put an extra spin on it, because dramatizing it just made it so much more fun. I could make this shit up as I went, and it was pretty incredible. Very few people saw through the bullshit, but when they did, I would just keep going until I convinced them that it was true, I could get my sister to back my story, and she wasn't even there! What a charmer I was. I would do things to make them think I was so much better than I was, or if I needed something worse than I was, and for the peace de resistance, I would do their dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, because "doing" things for them would keep me there longer. However, the day always came when they would tell me I needed to go home. They always wondered why my mother never came looking for me, that would be because she didn't really care where we were, as long as we introduced her to the new "mark" so she could get her piece of the "pie" all was good.

By Atikh Bana on Unsplash

As I got older I honed my craft, I started manipulating men because I learned early on that most men think with their dicks...so me being young and hot, made this a very easy task, especially with older men, however, I didn't know how dangerous this practice could get, I almost found out one evening as I was flirting with an older man one night, I was 14 and a virgin still, I had no clue about sex. I had convinced him I was 18...he was 24, we were kissing and he went to put his hand down my pants and I said "no" and he kept pushing his hand down my pants, so I pulled away and backed off and again said "stop it, I said NO!" He immediately grabs my face, slams me up against the wall and said, "listen bitch, you don't get to tease me and then tell me no, I could take you right here if I want, good thing I'm not interested in jailbait", he let go, then turned and walked away, and I fell to the pavement, began crying, and was left very shaken. I decided that I was spared, someone was watching out for me, I was completely convinced. I decided at that point that I didn't want to go out like that, and that experience scared me straight. It was at that point that I just stopped lying, because I figured telling the truth was easier to keep up with, so I started telling the truth...the whole truth! I was actually brutally honest with most people, unless it would really do some damage, or possibly start trouble(because quite a few people are in complete denial) then I would be less brash, and more sensitive (but that was really hard sometimes, because there were times I just wanted to slap people into reality). I found over the years of me being this way that suddenly I had friends come to me and ask me for my "brutally honest" opinion. I would always reply with "are you sure you want the truth, because I will not bullshit you", and then I gave it to em' straight up and on the level! I became known for my "no filter" truths, and I was actually revered for it, that felt nice. Then I decided recently that I wanted to be a disciple, and began attending a very good church on Sundays, then last Sunday I was baptized! It was the most amazing experience I have ever had, and with all the support, I was and still am elated! I have once again found my father, I discovered him when I was young but as I grew older I had just simply tossed him to the side for drugs, alcohol, wild sex, and gambling, all the things that were introduced to me by that guy down below, and in my 40's, I went completely crazy after the death of my son. So, I gladly accepted it all and ran with it for more than 20 years, then some 18 years later, I grew up and decided that I wanted to live. I was remarried and actually doing very well for the first time in my entire life. I finally had the life of ease that I wanted and had come to grips with the fact that I have an addictive personality.

So, now that I feel like I have come full circle, and am now in my 50's the one of the last things on my "bucket list" is to buy a house in a completely different state...so in about 4 years, after my hubby and I save enough money, we are moving from California to South Dakota...wow! Huge change, but we are ready for it.

So, I had religion in my story and I was told it was not allowed...ok, I guess religious freedoms are being suppressed now by Vocal...whatever. I love my father, and my brother. They are my saviors. I honestly don't know if I can stay on this platform if they are going to suppress my freedoms like other social media sites are. I get not everyone believes what I do, but for those who do...I am sorry, you aren't allowed to feel that way, for shame on us all.

Bless you all...

th<iframe id='kofiframe' src='https://ko-fi.com/cmsears16119/?hidefeed=true&widget=true&embed=true&preview=true' style='border:none;width:100%;padding:4px;background:#f9f9f9;' height='712' title='cmsears16119'></iframe>ank you for reading!

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About the Creator

C. M. Sears

I am learning more about writing every time I write a new story, whether it be fiction or fact. I love this platform and will continue to write and learn...if you like what you read in any of my stories please click the heart.

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