Do You Ever Fell Like A Song is Wrote Just For You?

So I recently came across this song by Tate McRae, who is my favourite artist right now, called That Way and I just feel like it was written for me. Every single lyric speaks to me about a situation that I just got out of where me and a boy were seeing each other for over a year but never made it official, much to my disappointment.

“Run me in circles like you always do, Mess with me on purpose so I’ll hang onto you”

The opening lines on this song already speak volumes for me. I constantly felt like one day I was his favourite person on Earth and the next I couldn’t be further from his mind. Yet, the further away he pulled I always clung on tighter.

“I know what you mean when you act like that, But you don’t know it’s breaking my heart Said that it was never gonna happen”

Breaking my heart is an understatement. I literally would have done anything for him and he couldn’t care less. I always held onto the hope that one day he would want to date me because there were moments when he mentioned future plans with me. He would say stuff like, “When we have kids they would be embarrassed by us.” I still want to know why he would say that if he never planned on dating me.

“Every time we talk it just hurts so bad ‘Cause I don’t even know what we are I don’t even know where to start But I can play the part”

I had plenty of moments where I thought I was done with him and completely cut contact only for me to message him or him to message me and get dragged back into the vicious cycle. I cut the ties he had on me after the last time when I finally realised just how much he was playing with me. He still thinks I don’t know about all of his lies but I know everything.

"We say we’re friends, but I’m catching you across the room"

We actually did start as friends and to this day I still can’t remember who said I love you first but we did. I did love him but I hate him now. All that time I was in love with someone who wasn’t real. He just pretended to be someone I wanted to be with to keep me under his thumb.

"And there’s no way that I’ll end up being with you But friends don’t look at friends that way"

I knew from the moment I first kissed him that we could never be just friends. And yet every time we argued and said never again I always told myself I needed to have him in my life as a friend rather than him not being in my life at all. How wrong was I?

"Still can’t tell If we both mean well Keep me guessing If this is life or hell"

Now let me tell you when it was good it was amazing but when it was bad it was worse than hell. Whenever we fell out I felt like my life was over but when things were good I had never been happier. I always blocked out the bad moments and even he pointed out that my memories are only the good parts and I can’t remember the bad bits.

"Think I might have said to much, bit the dust Now I’m kinda dizzy Overthinking us till I’m drunk And sick of this whole city"

I did feel like after every time I called him out on the hurtful things he was doing that I had ruined it even though it was him going behind my back and lying to me. Every time I leave the house now I worry I’m going to bump into him with her and I won’t know how to react. When I did see him last I noticed him, he never noticed me, and I felt nothing but he was alone.

I don’t have romantic feelings for him anymore but if I saw him with her then I worry I might throw up or do something stupid.

In conclusion, I love and hate this song because it really calls out all the feelings that I thought I was alone in thinking. Tate McRae, queen of understanding my feelings by living the exact same life as me. Only she is talented, rich and famous and I am just me.