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Dear Men, Your Wife Masturbates Watching Other Men (And It's OK)

Don't YOU masturbate watching other women, so what's the difference? Female masturbation is natural. Or should be.

By Suburban Feminist ≡ KellyPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

A Men's Reaction To Female Masturbation

Don't you love night outs? We get to talk about everything, laugh at everyone, and drink an unusually satisfying amount of drinks.

The last time I was on a night out, a friend said her husband got offended when he found out she masturbates.

"Offended!?" I asked. "But how? Why?"

They are an educated, open-minded, and young couple (early to mid-30s), so this was not something I expected from him.

But oh, the fragile masculinity never fails to surprise me… "Am I not enough to satisfy you?" is what came out of his mouth (soul?). I can only imagine the mix of confusion and incredulity on his face.

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Let's Break Down What He Said Real Quick

"Am I not enough to satisfy you?"

Am I: It's all about him. He made HER masturbation about him.

To satisfy you: So, is it his job to satisfy his wife in bed?

A respected religion will say a woman shouldn't even have pleasure in bed. I wonder if this is partially to blame. But we will talk about religion another day.

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Let's Break Down How The Fragile Masculinity Played A Part

I don't think it is, necessarily, his fault. Men are raised to be virile, money-makers, family supporters, women-fuckers, and unstoppable machines of power without a single weak point.

Of course the moment he found out she could have pleasure without him, he would feel less than. After all, it was his job to make sure his wife was fed, dressed, and having orgasms.

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Wait! Orgasms?

Remember that feeling that releases stress and makes you feel good? Women love feeling that too.

"Does he really believe I don't know what he is doing during those long showers?"

Oh, dear husbands, we know. We know you are masturbating on those long showers. And that's fine! We know you do that because your wife is not always up to jump in bed with you and you need to release the stress of the day.

And that's the exact same for women.

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Dear Husband, Female Masturbation Is Not Sex.

I believe we need to look at female masturbation as a form of stress-releasing and feel-good activity. It is not about desiring the women or men one could possibly be seeing in the porn movie while seeking that "turn-on" effect.

Sex is great. Being with the person we love or desire is great. But sometimes we just want to do it quicker (or longer), differently, alone. We want to follow our rhythm and not the dual/couple rhythms.

You should understand it, since you've been masturbating since you were 13 or earlier, right?

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Why Masturbation Is Great For Women

From Planned Parenthood's website: "Plenty of research has shown the health benefits of masturbation. Masturbation can:

  • release sexual tension
  • reduce stress
  • help you sleep better
  • improve your self-esteem and body image
  • help treat sexual problems
  • relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension
  • strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas

Masturbation also helps you figure out what you like sexually."

All the benefits that female masturbation brings are great, but figuring out what we like sexually is amazing! This makes our experience in bed with our partners even better.

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Masturbation is not called "pleasuring yourself" for not reason, right? Let us enjoy the pleasure and understand we are each responsible for knowing our bodies and pleasure levels. We are not responsible for pleasing our partner (it is a great thing, but not a job or responsibility).

On another note: I watched The Woman King Sunday. Have you watched it yet? So many mixed feelings about that beauty of cinema vs the real story… Join me on my brand new Substack to get access to the posts and podcasts before they are posted anywhere else.

Taboo
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About the Creator

Suburban Feminist ≡ Kelly

📝Writer, author, visual artist.

♀ Woman, immigrant, zero maternal instincts mother, feminist.

🏡 Born+raised city gal in suburbia New Jersey.

💛 KellyBrito.com for all I do and am.

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