Dear 13 Year-Old Me

Dear 13 Year-Old Me,

You're a little less than half my age now, and that's kind of crazy. With that being said, shit is going to get even crazier than it already is…shit for you will honestly always fall under one extreme side of the spectrum or the other. If you haven't caught on by now, you know this is going to be a little unconventional, this won't be the typical letter to a 13 year-old version of myself. I don't have the answers for you, nor do I have any pointers on how to do things differently because there's no need to change the course of things. All I want to leave with this time-capsulated aspect of myself are a few pieces of moral advice.

Happiness is a choice: Life is going to present you with many highs, and honestly, just as many lows. Oh yeah, you're just strapping into that roller coaster baby girl, you haven't even hit the drop yet. By all means, process. Feel your feelings but try not to wallow in those dark days. Try not to allow yourself to become consumed. We only allow ourselves to remain unhappy so long as we want to be. You always have the option to want to see brighter days.

Karma is a thing, it's really the main thing: Always make moves with good intentions. Don't ever do anything with the notion of personal gain behind your actions. If you want to be good at something, make sure your desire to excel doesn't have anything to do with public reception. Don't ever expect to get anything back…money, time, energy. Just try to give because it warms your heart. Be mindful of how you spend your energy, too. You'll glide right along if you remember that.

Remember that change is inevitable, and almost always necessary: Everything in Divine Timing too. You are going to pass through several seasons of people and situations that might feel permanent at any given point before their departure. You got a lot of Cancer energy in our chart too, so pretty much any shift or change will feel like an "L " to you. Keep your head up though, my G. Everything that phases out, happens so you can align yourself with what's coming in. I'm writing this as Saturn transits through Capricorn and I have a little saying to remind me that everything will be okay when I feel like my world is falling apart, crumbling foundations to make space for new pillars. Just sit and think on that, and don't even worry about all the astrology I just threw in here. You'll get into that later, again, Divine Timing.

And that's all, for now at least. These are the most important things that I could think to tell 13 year-old me given the chance. That's another thing about life- the urgency for this and the pull to that changes with the wind. Tomorrow I'll probably have an "ah-ha" moment and realize this is what I should have put in that letter. But, this will already be posted on my Medium by then (because that's what I'm doing now to keep track of getting back to my happy place, which would be writing) which would mean it would already be solidified, right? Maybe. It's all about perspective, and I do have the option to edit. Am I going to press that button though?

That should really be the question, not "to be or not to be." Which, would mean the answer to my question is: wrong. Nothing is ever set in stone, remember that. You have the power to manifest the journey to your destiny, at least. And again, you'll get into what that truly means in your twenties.

I'll leave it at that. Continue to write. Continue to sing. Continue to dance. Continue to love. Continue to learn, life is a classroom anyway, so you might as well make the best out of that. You can never have too much knowledge (by the way people are going to hate your smart ass for knowing everything, but it's all good. Having common sense and the smarts to back it up is a weapon. You are lethal girl…and so is your mouth and yes, you eventually stop caring about censoring yourself. You cuss like a sailor and that's perfectly fine). Remain gratuitous, and just let life lead you. You'll end up where you're supposed to be.

With the Greatest Love You'll Ever Know,

Auj (at 29)