This man is my mood. I am chilling, not a single romantic prospect in sight besides a Canadian that I really enjoy talking to that I met through virtual speed dating. And that is purely virtual, never met the man. He flirts with me in a subtle way that I really enjoy since it feels classy unlike a lot of the other men I interact with in America.
Fred reached out and I ignored it
Daniel reached out and I ignored it
Karan reaches out and I'll respond out of boredom
Cody reached out but it was more for a check in and curiousity of my life then anything else it seemed
I cried when he reached out because I want him to have a happy life and it sounded like the universe was against him and I just wanted him to be able to feel valued at work and compensated with a role that he at least likes
I mainly cried because I had just gotten my period and my emotions are always everywhere during times like that
Eric reaches out sometimes but it's just boring vs with the Canadian will actually try to have conversations with me
Eric just sends me a picture of his face with no caption
I need substance
I want entertainment
And subtle flirting rather than someone like him who tried to jerk off while on the phone with me
I wasn't into it. And that turned me off from him in all honesty
How forward he was sexually
Thats such a turn off
It means you don't respect me and also your too open and I don't trust it cause you are probably a hoe
At least that's how I feel about him now.
He told me he had a threesome and I had no words to say to that.
Like why are you telling me this
I don't care and don't want to know
And I hate talking about sex
Maybe it's because I was raised Catholic
So it feels dirty and unclassy to talk about it
Especially with a person I barely know
It just feels more comfortable with someone I've seen for a while
But to conclude this update- I don't fancy anyone romantically in a strong light
I liked the Russian. He was probably the last man I have had a crush on and genuinely found intriguing and attractive. Especially since he hadn't made a move on me. Ugh I get obsessed with men that don't make a move on me but clearly enjoy hanging out with me- I couldn't tell if he was interested or just liked me as a friend and it made me want to hang out with him so much more.
If I had stayed in Miami more, I would have eventually made a move on him. I like him more than both Arab men I met there even tho technically I spent more time with them and they paid for all the outings. With the Russian, I paid for all my own shit but I still loved hanging out with him more than the others. I would've paid to hang out with him again.
I remember my sister telling me that she doesn't mind paying when she is with good company. And that is one of her sayings that has stuck with me for life.
People from my past have been popping up left and right.
But the one who never came back was Sandeep.
With all fairness he was probably falling for me and knew I couldn't reciprocate.