Cheap Fuel

I could feel his piece pressing on me . Its not rocket science to know what that means. Yes his piece. I look over on the nightstand and the clock reads 5:55 AM. Which means he is going to get up soon and get ready for work. This is also the time he usually wants to do the do to get his day started.

The truth is , I really started to hate having sex with Lamar. Some days it was like no other and other days it just was not it. It was like when he finally made it to the pot Gold and of the end of the tunnel, the

C L I M A X , well... there was no climax at all, and the sex was disappointing.

“Mhmm you’re so beautiful babe” he says as he kisses my forehead .

It sounds cute and all but I really wasn’t in the mood.

I pause and just say “Thank you Babe” my tone was definitely not it’s usual way. Not amused , I mean how could I ? He did it again . AGAIN!

He turns to me and says “whats wrong babe?” “You want to go again or something? ..

Waaaait. You want to go again ?

Is that why your mad?”

At this point, I’m thinking do I really say what I want to say or spare his feelings and say nothing . Why would I want to go again and be disappointed ? Maybe so he can try and redeem himself ? I don’t know but he’s crazy to think I want to go through that again.

Being intimate with Lamar started to feel like a chore , it was no longer feeling how it’s supposed to. I was not sexually satisfied anymore. I never told him those exact words but I think he was in denial .

So I decide to take this opportunity to really open this can of worms.

“Is that it ?” “Is that the best you can do?”

I really tried at first to be as considerate of his feelings as possible but I couldn’t take it anymore . It was happening so often I was completely over it and him.

He gives some confused look . And says

“ Are you kidding ?

No no no. I can’t believe you just said that to me.

“What’s the problem?”

I knew deep down this would piss him off but I’m thinking why is he acting so clue less . There’s no way he thinks this shit is normal. Lasting 2- 5 minutes..

I say as soft as I possibly could , The best I could come up with was

“I think it’s time for you to go to the doctor and see what’s causing you not to last long?”

In true Lamar Fashion , he gets real defensive. I guess anyone would feel that way. After all, I just bruised his big ego.

“Here you go , accusing me of some shit? ” “So you want to have sex with someone else then. Am I not good enough ?”

At this point I know where this conversation is going and I don’t care nor am I about to argue about my feelings. Lamar was the type of man, your parents tell you to stay far away from.

So I take this opportunity to break it down .

“You bussing that quick can’t be normal and should check if something is wrong.”

I know what you’re thinking , damn she’s cold as ice , I can’t believe you would shatter the man’s ego like that. Well, the words came out like word vomit, the way they came out my mouth . There was no take backs . I said what I said.

And maybe you just might be right in your own accord , but years of not being sexual satisfied . Enough was Enough.

A luxury vehicle requires a certain type of maintenance in order for it to function at its best. That includes fuel , you are not going to put the same fuel you would put in a Honda Civic that you would put in a Jaguar.

Why?

Because Cheap Fuel doesn’t cut it.

Just like Cars , us humans are all different and unique. One thing that we share in common is that in order to function at our best level , making sure the right fuel we put in is so important.

Water intake , fruits , vegetables, watching the type of energy that you may pick up on. Etc .

Truth is , when you are luxury and put cheap fuel inside . You can’t expect anything less, and see yourself to a trip to the mechanic or shall I say doctors office..

___

After the relationship ended with Lamar , I realized a lot of things about myself . The main realization was my self worth. What he had to offer me , just wasn’t it anymore.

*Disclaimer : Before you run fake narratives and banter . This is a story but not my story.

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-Ss