Call Girls Don’t Fall in Love

Her mind works differently than most,

Her emotions show up quickly and begin to host

Even though she tries to hide and keep them at bay

They command attention and lead the way

She tries to convince herself that what she feels couldn’t possibly be real

So she stuffs her feelings deep inside and does her best to conceal

But this is something easier said than done,

Cause this man is smart, kind, amazing and fun

He’s not like anyone else she’s ever met,

He’s out of her league and hard to get.

But before she knows it, she’s under his spell,

Lost her balance, tripped and fell.

He was honest from the start,

She could have everything but his heart.

Nothing he forgot to mention,

Straight forward with his intention.

She too wasn’t ready for anything serious,

That was, until his charm knocked her completely delirious.

The feeling came on her quick and fast,

Assuming it was butterflies, she knew it wouldn’t last.

But each day the feelings grew stronger and stronger

She soon started wanting his visits to last longer.

When he would leave, her heart wished he would stay

Quickly she hated that he lived so far away

She found herself waiting impatiently for him to call,

Sometimes it’d be days and sometimes not at all.

She was caught up in the beauty of his eyes,

Too far gone, before she even realized.

How did this happen, how can it be?

She never falls this easily.

There’s something about the way his long hair falls down across his face,

And the silent pain hidden behind his beautiful eyes she can’t erase.

He has walls built around him, put there to protect

So it’s automatic, he’s a disconnect.

Scars left from hurt before,

Some on the surface, but many to the core.

All she wants to do is wrap her arms around him tight,

Keep him far from harm and safe, day and night.

She respects the boundaries he’s put in place,

Respects his privacy, and his space.

She puts herself out on the line,

All just to make sure he’s fine.

Although her emotions for him run deep,

She knows he’s not her’s to keep.

Normally, she’s scared to be hurt again,

But he’s worth settling just to be a friend.

She’s doing her best to make these feelings go away,

Because she is hurting now everyday.

She worries about him all through the night,

She wishes he was in her bed, holding her tight.

But this girl who tries to help and care for all her friends,

Suffers alone and her pain never ends.

No one is ever there to quickly save her day,

Nor is she ever looked at as more than a fuck or a lay.

Does anyone know, that she keeps so many secrets deep inside,

Or that she has a million scars she tries to hide?

That last week she had a blade next to her wrist,

Or that a client a couple of weeks ago punched her with his fist?

Or that some days she feels less that 2 feet tall,

And most days she doesn’t feel human at all?

Shes the one most guys over look,

She gets judged by her cover, just like a book

She’s waited her whole life for her prince to show up on a horse

And save her from this tortuous obstacle course.

When a call girl falls in love, it means the one she loves is different than all the rest. Something about him just feels different. She has men falling at her feet, paying just to be in her presence. The way she treats him is above and beyond any client. Sex with him is different. With clients, it’s a chore, a complete bore. We want to be more than wanted, we need to be needed. Just want you to stay after the sex is over.

Recently I met someone and fell, not sure if it’s love or just a want for his love. The tricks I see don’t mean anything and the only thing they got he didn’t, was a fake orgasim and an hour of my time I didn’t want to give. The money I make off them, I can’t wait to spend on him. Give him things he’s never had, show him he matters more than the other men that walk through my door. But stupid me, hundreds of guys throwing theirselves at me and I want the only one that doesn’t want me back. He was clear from the beginning and I was ok, because I didn’t want more than a friend with benefits either. But something about him took my breath away. I soon started wanting what I knew I couldn’t have. I became infactiated with the way he looked at me, hanging on a moment listening to the stories about his life he told me. Maybe it was the sadness behind his eyes that lured me in. I found myself wanting to fix every wrong in his world. I just wanted to be a part of his world. When I finally got the courage to tell him how I felt, I knew deep down inside he didn’t want a relationship but the chemistry I was feeling between us I felt like he couldn’t possibly not feel it too. He hadn’t kissed me, but we had been spending a lot of time together and the sex was amazing.

So I get the courage to send him a text telling him I didn’t want to catch these feelings but they were undeniable. I poured my heart out, told him I would change and rearrange my life for him, but like a dagger through my heart, he didn’t feel the same. He stood on business about how he felt and I was devastated. He backed away from me for a week and then came back to see me bearing the sweetest gifts and that gorgeous smile.

Because of spending so much time with me, he ended up losing his job and I was fully invested in him at this point so I offered him to help me work, keep me company and I would split my earnings with him while he was with me. I did this, despite him not having the feelings I did, because I didn’t want to see him hurt or struggle. It hurt me to see him unhappy. The first night he came to hang while I worked, was his last. He wasn’t happy to find out I had been dishonest about what I did with my clients. I didn’t want to lie, but it kills my soul a little more each time when I have to hear myself say the words out loud. This was what drove him away from me. I can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to help me change and he didn’t understand why I can’t tell the truth about it, when it didn’t matter cause we weren’t together anyway.

So this is where we are at. He’s angry I lied and I’m ashamed that I did. I figured he knew what I did so I shouldn’t have to talk about it. Now I’m spending my nights alone again, crying on my couch. I’m willing to do anything to show him my love and loyalty is unmatched but I guess I need to accept that he just doesn’t want anything more with me. How do I push past the pain of knowing the one I would have moved mountains for, barely wants to text me back? I’ve lost so much of myself in this business, and within him I thought I had found safety, friendship and maybe one day love.

So now, I still care for him, support him and secretly hope and pray one day he will find in me what I have seen in him from the very start. I’ve never truly had real love, so I can’t say that I know what it is, but I found peace within him, friend or more… so for him, I will forever be one call away.