Butterflies of Shattered Things

I love the Ocean beach in the morning. Especially that one summer a few years ago with Jake. The summer I couldn’t sleep until we left, counting down every hour until we finally made it to the airport. Landing to the long awaited white sandy beaches and the clear blue waters.

Jake was my super bestie we did everything together. He was such an old soul, laid back, relaxed, more of a no-nonsense kind of guy. He styled his hair like Elvis, piercing eyes, and a such a charmer. Jake attracted people wherever he went, mostly the ladies.

As for me, I was just a homely girl. Not much more to say about looks since I always weighed a little too much and didn’t keep myself up well enough, or so my mother always used to say.

But for some reason Jake and I got along perfect. He was my soul mate.

Jake and I worked in this little wonky restaurant. We always joked about how this was definitely a honky-tonk place for honky-tonk people. That is until we realized we might have been talking about ourselves.

We decided, one night as we were goofing off at work, to become the honky-tonk people we always laughed about. Since we liked the southern slang, we decided to call ourselves the Gunslingers gang.

Those were the days where we decided to get a little silly and announce things that went into the orders. For instance, if someone ordered a “son of a gun burger”, we yelled, “Gunslingers Burger, Yee Haw!” When we were really screwing off, we chimed in with some silly tidbits, like “Gunslinger’s ketchup," "Gunslinger's Sweet Tea," or "Gunslinger's Bushwhacker Blues, Yee Haw" Hey, someone has to have fun, right? and Jake and I were just the two to do it.

That was the summer when Jake and I took time off work to go to Florida. We had heard it was the place where all the action was happening. For us, the trip of a lifetime, and it WAS the trip of a lifetime! Some would beg to differ, but I just chalked it up to jealousy.

In Florida, we spent the majority of our days on the beach, but on our last night, instead of playing on the beach, we decided to check out the town and go bar hopping.

We found this cute little historic street crowded with people. We joined this small group that seemed like they knew their way around, and ended up visiting some cool bars. That’s when the fun really started. For every shot or drink we ordered we yelled “Gunslingers shot! Yee Haw!” or “Gunslingers Beer! Yee Haw!” The group began shouting it as much as we were. We felt like we had a whole cheering squad following us around. The bartenders didn't care much for it and one of them threatened to kick us out, but we didn't mind, we were just too busy having fun.

We noticed a cute little country western bar as we turned the corner. The atmosphere there was amazing, so laid back, with high beaming ceilings and eclectic flashing lights matched with western décor.

That place wasn’t anything I had ever seen before. The club was playing top 40;s music, yet everyone was line dancing to it as if it was country music at its finest. There was a huge stage that the main dancer stood on and led the line dance. He was smooth and steady encouraging the crowd to follow his choreographed steps. Maybe it was just me, but he looked almost lit up with electricity with the lights flashing on his sequined hat and vest. Everyone was trying to dance the steps he led, some better than others. He started to get everyone riled up by yelling “Get louder! Step faster!” hollering through his microphone.

All of a sudden, Jake being Jake, jumped on the stage and said “Gunslingers Dance! Yee haw!” Jake started to move his feet like he knew something about line dancing. I couldn’t help but bust up laughing. Nobody knew what the heck he was doing but they tried to follow him anyway. I think Jake made everyone little rowdier than they already were. Jake did love to be the center of attention.

In one of the corners of the nightclub we noticed they had a mechanical bull. You should have seen Jake. He was so excited to ride that thing! Knowing he had never done that before I’m like:

“Go for it! but don’t come crying to me when you fall off tough guy…”

Course he didn’t let that scare him, he looked at me with that smartass grin and his country slang,

“You aint seen nothin’ yet pilgrim. Just watch and learn little lady, I’ll ride it like you aint never seen before.”

“Yeah yeah,” as I rolled my eyes. He always did have a big head, drove me nuts sometimes.

When it was Jakes turn, he got on that bull, hung on with one hand to that braided rope, and gave me a wink. The buzzer sounded and there he was, riding that thing like butter on a hot tortilla. I couldn’t help but stare in amazement

“Well all be damned” I muttered under my breath.

Soon the guy running the bull slowed it down, and there was Jake, riding that bull in slow motion, grinding on it like he was a stripper, slowly taking off his shirt. So many girls flocked to see him all screaming and trying to get his attention. Like I said, he did always have a way of attracting the ladies and that was certainly one way of getting their attention. Heck, I even thought it was hot, although I would never tell him that since he’s already got a big head.

Finally, it was last call and it was time to head back to the motel. As we walked back to our room, we talked about all the fun we had. Laughing and poking fun at each other about dancing and bull riding and all the insanity that went with it. I couldn’t have had a better time with anyone else but Jake. As a Gunslinger would say, that was some darn rootin’ tootin’ good fun right there.

As soon as we got in the motel room Jake said he was going to go out for a bit.

“Whaa?” I exclaimed! “What are you taking about we just got back?”

“There is just someone I am going to meet up with, don’t worry Kate, I’ll be back soon. Gunslingers Away!”

Frustrated, “Jake… that’s not funny this is our last night here? I thought we were gonna have a few more drinks and watch a movie?”

He then looked at me with those big brown eyes, raised his eyebrows up and down a bit. I knew what he meant.

I rolled my eyes “ugh! Fine Jake, but make sure you’re here by morning dude! We have to start loading up to head back. The flights at 11.”

“Yeah, yeah… and that’s gunslinger dude to you...” he laughs a bit

”Hey, and let me know how the movie is!” he chuckles heading out the door, then peaking back with a wink “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Whatever dude!” I yelled back “And don’t break her heart!” annoyed I winked back.

I already knew he would break her heart, just like he always does.

By the next morning Jake still wasn’t at the motel. Although it wasn’t unusual, that he wasn’t back by morning, it still bothered me that Jake didn’t hang out with me that last night we had in Florida.

Trying to avoid getting upset, I started packing some of our things so we would be ready to take off when he got back.

Another hour later, Jake still wasn’t there. Now, having to wait, I was getting a bit annoyed.

I tried calling his phone, no answer, check out is coming up, and the flight is right around the corner, and still no Jake. Damn that guy can piss me off sometimes.

Then I thought, “duh” as I rolled my eyes, he probably made her cry, and now he feels guilty and is trying to escape on a good note. I winced just a bit because that was his usual thing, I don’t know why I’m even pissed.

Finally, Jake calls. I answered right away;

“Dang it dude, it’s about time! Where the hell have you been? I’ve been going crazy!”

“Kate… wait… don’t get mad, but I think I’m gonna stay”

Totally confused, and wondering if he was just hung over.

“What? What do you mean your gonna stay?”

“Look Kate, I think I found the one, she is perfect, I’ve never met anyone like her.”

Irritated “Yeah right, whatever Jake, get your butt over here, we gotta go!”

“No Kate I really do think she’s the one, I’m sorry. This one is different, she’s everything I want, I’m sorry Kate... but I’m not going home.”

Now he’s really getting on my nerves as I’m trying to make sense of what he just said…

“Look, your joke is not working cuz that would be way too fast.” “Now hurry up we gotta get to the flight!”

Jake wouldn’t answer…

“What the Hell?” I instantly got super pissed, I don’t think I have ever been so pissed in my entire life.

“Are you serious?”

“I’m serious Kate.”

Now, I don’t think I’ve heard Jake ever be serious, not ever, and especially not with a gal. I felt so left out, so discarded, I wanted to lash out, and I did.

“Well fine Jake! No problem, I guess I’ll go by myself then, just like you anyway. It’s always whatever you want. Just stay here then and I’m not coming back to get you either! And I’m leaving your shit at the motel!”

I couldn’t see straight at that point. I’m trying to hold back the tears and trying to sound like I’m in control all at the same time.

“Wait Kate! I want to see you before you leave!”

“No Jake, buck it up Gunslinger… I’m gonna take off. Have a great life.”

“Please Kate…Let me see you before you leave, were besties, I’ll miss you!”

Tears pouring down my face, my voice quivering a bit, I belted out

“Yeah! well I won’t miss you!”

I hung up on him, I was so mad, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling… I lost my best friend! My partner in crime… My Soul mate…

A couple years went by, and I was still in the same town on the same street and working at the same restaurant. I had just got off work and was walking home when I notice a belt buckle in one of the store windows, a bull rider belt buckle. “Gunslingers Buckle Yee haw!” I said quietly as I grinned. Totally took me back to Florida with Jake…I sometimes miss that time we had. My life never felt the same without him.

As I turned to leave, I saw someone running across the street towards me… I couldn’t believe my eyes… “Jake?” not realizing I said it out loud

He looked so excited and loudly exclaimed “Oh My Gosh Kate! I’ve missed you so much!” He grabs me and hugs me.

Shocked and excited all at the same time all I could say was “Uh... Hi?” as I backed up a little from his grasp.

“Kate please… please, forgive me, I couldn’t quit thinking about you, I shouldn’t have left you, you are the only one who has ever mattered to me. Can we start over? I really want us to please?”

There was something in his voice I knew to be true…but, what does he mean start over? I couldn’t go through that again.

All I could muster was, “umm”

Jake knowing, I had some hesitation

“I want you to know, you are the only one for me. Please Kate give me another chance. I didn’t realize it then, but I know now… I love you Kate, it’s always been you…”

“You love me?” my voice quivered, as a tear started falling

Jake had this look that I hadn’t seen before. He wasn’t playing, he wasn’t kidding he looked me dead in the eyes.

“Yes Kate, it’s you I want, I love you Kate, I always have and I always will. Please give me another chance, go on a date with me, not just friends, not just besties but a date. Let’s start over.”

I realized just then how much I really missed him, I missed us, and when I looked into his eyes, I knew deep down, that I loved him too.

“Yes Jake, I’ll go on a date with you…”

“Yes!” He said Really loud

He grabbed me and spun me around and around, He was so excited, we both were.

Jake put me down, put his hands on my shoulders, looked at me with those piercing eyes.

“And do you know what were gonna do little lady?”

I could tell he had something up his sleeve

“uh oh, do I wanna know?” I couldn’t help but smile

“Yes!” he shouted,

“Because we’re going to get all spiffed up in fancy clothes, go to a fancy place, maybe that cute place overlooking the beach, order a fancy dinner like Lobster tails, and get some wine. We’ve never gotten wine before, let’s get wine!”

Excited I yelled

“Yes, let’s do it!”

And that’s exactly what we did. We had our first real date, wearing fancy clothes, in a fancy place, ordered a fancy dinner and each of us had a glass of wine, a fancy Merlot.

Oh, and when we got that Merlot? We had a toast with it, Gunslinger’s style of course;

“Gunslingers Merlot! Yee Haw!”

We laughed and laughed just like we always had. As we were laughing, we looked at each other, and then our eyes locked. For the first time since I had known him, butterflies started dancing in my stomach. My heart was beating so fast I couldn’t catch my breath. He slowly leaned in for a kiss and as he came closer, I could smell the Merlot on his lips. That’s when I knew, without a doubt, what lay ahead of us was unstoppable…