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Boomerang: Love at First Sight in Jamaica

A Cougar and her Cub

By DrCheroll DossettPublished 3 years ago 12 min read
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'Cougarlicious'

I met a guy online less than three weeks ago. Let's call him "Kevin". Kevin had proven to be the epitome of the 'greatest love' ever told in almost 4 years. I told him that I saw him in a dream. Our first exchange started online in a Facebook group for singles looking to connect with Jamaican men. There was an instant connection on the first video chat but I fought to hold back the feelings.

Cougarlicious

I am 61 years old and decided to visit Jamaica on an extended trip which began this past February 2021. As a mature woman, I typically do not put myself in a situation to be vulnerable to men that you would meet online. Besides being experienced, my thoughts were not directed to "hooking up" with anyone while on vacation in Jamaica.

The Deck was Stacked Against me

2020 was such a difficult year for me just like so many other people; not only did I suffer a loss of income, I lost my dignity and stability because I ended up sleeping on the sofa at my Mother's home after my return from China in January 2020 due to China's strict travel ban during the Pandemic. So, rather than stay in China until the country opened its borders again for international Travel, I beguilingly returned to New York City fully unprepared to maintain myself for one year. I had no choice but to stay with my 83-year-old mother. As you read through the story, you might think that I am so sort of loser. I am not here to defend my actions or decision but am finally sharing my story to let others know that depression can happen at any age. So, bear this in minding as you read along. Moreover, to make matters worse, I have spent the last year trying to reinvent myself and find a deeper meaning in my life. The fact remains the same, the trauma of returning to the home as an "adult" dealt a devastating blow to my ego. Feeling like a failure at this stage of my life was a grim dark hole to climb out of. For the first six months of 2020, I had enough energy to sit at the dining table in my mother's one-bedroom apartment in Queens and to meek out a a living by direct selling Personal Protective Equipment to prospective buyers looking for large quantities of Nitrile Gloves, Hospital Gowns and Hand Sanitizers. Candidly speaking , most of my contacts are found on Whatsapp but the amount of time that I spent building relationships waned in comparison to the amount of actual sales that ended up in a successful transaction which resulted in my learning any commissions. So, basically you can tell you that i spent the entire year of 2020 without generating income. Each month I had to borrow money to pay for my phone bill and other minor expenses and this too became caustic because I knew that I had no means of repaying anyone who was kind enough to pay my phone bill or who was able to loan me any money to tie me over until the following month.

Breaking the Cycle

Feeling defeated, I decided to go on a Fast. My intention was to Fast for 30 days but I ended up extended it for 47 days. I drank only water. The more the days lingered on without eating, the clearer my thoughts were about my desperate plea to move out of my Mother's home t0 find my way again.

My escape

Jamaica was on the radar for several months prior to my eventual departure in February, 2021. I knew that staying in Jamaica for an extended trip would help me regain my confidence because I would be able to afford a quaint place that would be comfortable for me to stay and work from home. Once I had made my mind that I was going to Jamaica, I started looking for remote teaching gigs that would enable me to sustain myself financially. After one month of job searching, I landed a remote teaching position as a Lecturer at a Teacher's College based in China. I started Teaching in December, 2020 and made the decision that after I received my first paycheck, I would buy a new set of luggage, a few articles of clothing upgrade my laptop , a new camera and Podcast Equipment and head straight to Jamaica before my 61st Birthday which was technically February 29th. During the entire time that I was teaching, I kept thinking that I would never allow myself to go into this situation again. With each new passing day and the countdown to my departure date, I knew that the excitement of creating a fresh beginning was more appealing that the realization that I was going to grow older sleeping on my 83 year old' Mother's sofa. So, when I received my first paycheck, I had enough money to buy all the essential equipment that I needed in order to begin my life as a Teaching/Digital Nomad. So, following my Covid-19 test results,

Yeah Man! Ready or Not here I Come

I headed to Port Antonio, Portland, Jamaica where I booked an Arbnb Cottage with the intent of staying for four months. Of all the places to stay in Jamaica, Portland was my first choice because is small sea town and the town has a history of beautiful beaches, lush landscape, a safe place for women solo travelers and the cost of living is low where my part-time teaching salary could afford me the luxury of keeping my independence while I work on creating a business that could sustain me for the long run.

Feel Like I am Heading Home

Since my arrival to Port Antonio, Portland, Jamaica I have no regrets so far- well, that is until I met "Kevin". I am using a fictitious name for the sake of this story. For all intents and purposes, It has taken me two months to try to meet anyone. My mind was so focused on trying to create a business that little eff0rt was spent on dating or thinking about dating, In fact, I honestly believed that I have been so disconnected from the dating scene that when men tried to flirt with me, I immediately shrugged it off as a mistake. I kept telling myself that how could this young man expect me to want to return the favor at my age? So, as the first month rolled into the second month, I started thinking how nice it might be to get a "friend" to show me around. Although I am used to my own company, it seemed like a good idea to find another adult to connect with and to. But, the Island has been implementing Covid-19 Safety measures that for the most part the mandated daily curfew beginning at 8:00PM has halted any plans to have a social or nightlife. And so, the only other recourse to meet anyone would be t0 go online. I started my online search to meet someone in the third week in March.Once I posted my photo, I received 4 responses that seemed worth pursuing. But, I only answered one from "Kevin". At first glance, Kevin had the "look" that i was drawn to: dreadlocks, Mocha Brown colored skin and a beautiful smile. If this was not sufficient for me to fall for, it was upon hearing the sound of his voice I was blown away by his intonation and strong sense of self when he spoke. Our initial exchange was immediately by video. He was attracted to my profile photo and my background as we both are Herbalists. During our original video call, we spoke for 6 hours until we both fell asleep. Little did I know he was planning to travel to Port Antonio the next day to meet me. As a clever man, Kevin made it seem that he had a pre-existing meeting in Port Antonio because he is a musician and he claimed that he was visiting Port Antonio to go to the recording studio. As Kevin was from the Montego Bay area it did not make sense that he needed to travel 4 hours by bus to record a song, Typically, I would have questioned his motives and his logic, but I let it go as I was equally excited about the prospect of our face to face encounter. I offered to pay for his accommodation on the same pr0perty where I was staying so he can feel more comfortable if he had to stay over due to the island-wide curfew rules. Once we confirmed our plans, I could barely sleep. I have no memory of the last time that I felt so much excitement. On the day of his arrival, I went to the grocery store, had a foot scrub and oiled my skin with Shea butter so that I would glisten when the sun shined on my skin as it is setting. I wanted to ensure that I looked as youthful as possible. Kevin knew my age from previous conversations and he claimed that he was 'into' older women.

Pheromones and Endorphins

Kevin is a 42 years Rastafarian and his rope like strands or dreadlocks entangle each strand of hair on his head in the same manner that my heart beats when I look into his eyes. Our connection was instant and ultimately stronger than I have ever encountered with anyone. If he was asked to marry him on day of his arrival, I would have said yes. Kevin's smile and his scent kept me wanting to be around him more and more. Although we had separate accommodation, I could not exercise restraint. After he showered and rested, I walked over to the cottage to greet him and to bring something to eat but the chemical reaction between us was so strong that I found myself sitting on the floor gazing into his face. He resembled a younger Bob Marley and was also a Reggae Singer. I hesitated to sit next to him on the sofa because the serotonin in my brain rendered me speechless and helpless. I had promised myself that I was not going give in and sleep with him on our first meeting. He sensed that I was feeling conflicted and then he suddenly reached over and kissed me on my forehead. Soon I found that we had our two mouths together and we started kissing. The kiss was not your typical steamy kiss rather it was gentle, slow and integrating his smile with my smile. We must have kissed for 20 minutes and then the next thing I seemed to be his hand on the base of my back. In an unexpected paternal-like move, Kevin stopped and looked me in the eyes and asked " Are you okay?" I hesitated to answer because I felt a fast, warm gush of emotions that left me shamelessly wanting more of him.

As I lay on the sofa, we continued to talk amidst the explosion of bodily fluids that we exchanged. Kevin did not let me go and it surprised me that he continued to hold onto my moving slowly closer and closer again for another round of passionate embrace. When I finally started to drift ahead and get some sleep, I woke myself up to leave the cottage and return to my own place. I left him sleeping with a note placed next to him which read 'I will call you in the morning and I will bring breakfast." At that moment, I fell in love with Kevin-The Rasta.

So far, so good

Later that night, he would send a text to say goodnight and to explain to me how much he loved me. I believed him and had no reason to suspect his sincerity. The next morning, we met in the garden. Kevin was very attentive and I reciprocated with my glances at his mane. Kevin seemed more pleasing to me that morning. As we planned our day, he mentioned that we just wanted to stay one more night. So, we spent the day pacing ourselves so as to avoid what happened between us the night before. However, Kevin did not is changed of heart. He told me he loved me and that he could see making me his wife. I thought to myself. This is crazy? I am an older woman... I should have more discipline to not fall prey to a single sexual encounter and act as if it had meaning. Nevertheless,, I fought hard to hold back my feelings. So, before moving any further with him, I asked the question that can could they way we relate to one another: so, does this mean we are a couple now? Kevin grabbed my left hand and said while looking into my eyes. " I will be back next week." I believed him and felt like I had good cause. So, on the next morning he left at 7:00AM to catch the bus back to Montego Bay.

The Unexpected Ending

He sent on text to thank me for making sure he felt welcomed. This was the last time I heard from Kevin. Still disappointed by his lack of response, I learned a valuable lesson: Sometimes a random hook-up could lead to greater self-doubt so be careful if you find yourself having a one night stand with someone that was too quick to get to know you from the start.

han I have every encountered with anyone. If he asked me to marry him on day of his arrival, I would have said yes. Kevin's smile and his scent kept me wanting to be around him more and more. Although we had separate accommodations, I could not exercise restraint. After he showered and rested, I walked over to the cottage to greet him with something to eat but the chemical reaction between us was so strong that I found myself sitting on the floor looking at his face. He resembled a younger Bob Marley and was also a Reggae Singer. I hesitated to sit next to him on the sofa because the seratonin in my brain rendered my speechless and helpless. I had promised myself that I was not going to give in and sleep with him on our first meeting. He sensed that I was feeling conflicted and then he suddenly reached over and kissed me on my forehead. Soon I found that we had our two mouths together and we started kissing. The kiss was not your typical steamy kiss rather it was gentle, slow and integrating his smile with my smile. We must have kissed for 20 minutes and then the next thing I felt was his hand on the base of my back. In an unexpected paternal-like move, Kevin stopped and looked me in the eyes and asked " Are you okay?" I hesistated to answer because I felt a fast, warm gush of emotions that left me shamlessly wanting more of him.

As I lay back on the sofa, we continued to talk admist the explosion of bodily fluids that we exchanged. Kevin did not let me go and it surprised me that he continued to hold onto me moving slowly closer and closer again for another round of passionate embrace. When I finally started to drift off to sleep, I woke myself up to leave the cottage and return to my own place. As he lay there sleeping, I knew in my heart that I was in love.

Later that night, he would send a text to say goodnight and to tell me how much he loved me. I believed him and had no reason to doubt his sincerity. The next morning, we met in the garden. Kevin was very attentive and I reciprocated with my glances at his mane. Kevin seemed more beautiful to me that morning. As we planned our day, he mentioned that we wanted to stay one more night. So, we spent the day pacing ourselves so as to avoid what happened between us the night before. However, Kevin did not have a change of heart. He told me that he loved me and that he could see making me his wife. I thought to myself, this is crazy? I am older woman... I should have more discipline to not fall prey to a single sexual encounter and act as if it had meaning. But, I fought hard to hold back my feelings. So, before moving any further with him, I asked the question that can could they way we related to one another: So, does this mean we are a couple now? Kevin grabbed my left hand and said while looking into my eyes, " I will be back next week." I believed him and felt like I had good reason to. So, on the next morning he left at 7:00AM to catch the bus back to Montego Bay. He sent on text to thank me for making sure he was welcomed. This was the last time that I heard from Kevin. Still disappointed by his lack of response, I learned a valuable lesson: Sometimes a random hook-up could lead to greater self-doubt so be careful if you find yourself having a one stand with someone that was quick to get to know you.

Secrets
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