A One Act Play!

A One-Act Play!

~Self~

You did this to me,

You put me in here

You said you Loved Me,

And that you would be

My Best-Friend;

But you really didn’t care,

You got him to take a knife

A ‘Dull’ Knife…

And hold it out towards Me,

You had him believing the words

The very words that ‘he’ said,

That this was for my benefit

That it’s O.k. to be Cruel?

That this was for my benefit,

Not for his, not for yours,

He said that he was only trying

To help Me,

And I wanted to believe…

Then he stabbed me,

Right through the heart

‘Lucky’ for me that I have been

Stabbed there a few times before?

My Heart was ‘Tuff’

So I was able to survive.

Then he stood there

Just to look at me,

To see me bleeding

Before leaving the room,

And then just like that he was gone…

Suddenly there I was

Cold,

Outside,

Alone,

Once again

Falling to lie in my Pool of Blood;

Shaking like the World was

Coming to an end,

Armageddon

Armageddon

Yes, Yes,

YES,

For Armageddon.

It was as though my higher power was standing there

Before Me,

Preparing to judge.

I was Screaming, running, frantically

In my mind…

I was trying to find

A safe place for hiding,

Not from him

From the World,

From Free Will

From Sin,

I needed Peace, Protection and Love,

But I could never find any;

And as if what you had done wasn’t enough

You sent him back in to the room

To show me more of your gracious love!

Standing…

Right in front of me he said,

“If you don’t like it, leave.”

Where was the front door?

‘Please’ could somebody help Me

I can’t see anymore,

The wound was blinding

In that moment

The Door…

It seemed miles away

From Me,

Where was I going to go

In this condition?

Just how far could I possibly get?

What was I going to do?

His, were words

That came crashing down on me,

Sounding as though

They were being,

Screamed,

Below

Around,

And Above me!

They might as well have been.

With a good grip on the knife

He churned it, and churned it again,

But still I would not die

(John 3:16)

For my higher power loved me so,

That (he gave his only begotten,

that whosoever believeth

In him should not perish,

But have everlasting life.)

Feeling like, the desperate

Fool I was,

At that moment having realized

That there was nothing I could do

Nowhere I could run to,

For ‘help’

I grabbed out to him,

Like candy stolen from a baby

I was on my knees,

In an Outrage

Screaming,

For what felt like

Was my life…

“Please, Please! Don’t leave me,

Don’t leave me here like this.”

How I didn’t want to die,

(Well at least not alone anyway.)

I begged for him to come to me,

“Just hold me,

I need to feel loved

Safe and warm.”

‘Humor me’

Dammit

Just Humor me.

Even if it was only

For a Moment of an illusion;

I needed something so I could

Regain my ‘composure’

To regain ‘some’ of my strength.

So he came to Me

Hesitant,

For you weren’t there

Telling him what to do,

I grabbed onto, his legs…

His shirt…

I was desperately trying to get him

To come down to me,

To retrieve a hug,

A much needed hug?

Finally he was kneeling,

In front of me,

Then I looked into his eyes

And saw…

That he didn’t show any feelings

There was only a sense of dying sympathy,

Maybe?

Which he showed by barely holding on to me,

I tried to talk

But he wouldn’t listen,

(He didn’t want none of it)

He didn’t want to hear,

He didn’t want to try and understand me

You wouldn’t let him,

Let you go…

Whoever that man was,

He was mean, ugly and Evil!

That was not 'My' Man,

The one I ‘knew’ and loved?

You tricked him:

(Always blame it on the drugs)

Sex and Violence, and Drugs,

Sex and Violence and Drugs,

Are you HEARING ME???

SEX AND VIOLENCE, AND DRUGS!

You tricked him into believing,

That you were king

That you were ‘A’ friend of his.

You seeped quickly into his blood

Until you had taken over again,

Like so many others

He couldn’t know,

He couldn’t ever see,

The things you Got him to do.

For if he knew,

If any of us had known

What you do,

We’d of never fallen through,

We’d all stand up and fight

Against you,

And bring you to the end of

What you do.

Like so many;

I was on my own,

Believing

There was no–one to love me

When you did,

These same things to Me

It was on My own that I came to see,

What you were doing to Me.

You had changed Me into someone

Unknown,

You had Me believe that:

That someone was indeed Me,

That, this was what I had become

From taking in your Poisons,

Fortunately I came to see that,

it was not Me

I was not so dark,

I was not so cruel,

Just a lonely fool,

As you would have me believe.

So I fought you,

To Win...

To undo and change

All that you did to Me,

By turning those times of My life

Into Strengths.

Finding words,

Writing about it ALL

I had grown use to such Pain,

With Ungodly tolerance

That I was able to remove,

The knife you got him to

Hurt me with.

And nurtured the wound,

By facing the Pain of it

Unlike the days of when

You ruled my blood,

I did not run out into the streets

I did not run out to get a fix.

I did not run fearing to face it,

Fearing to face any of it

Like I had so many times before.

The Shock of what you made him

Put me through,

After a few moments

Allowed me to see,

You were trying to get rid of me

But for the Man I love

I’m going to stay,

I’m going to find a way!

You will not get me to go away,

For the Man that I love

Wouldn’t do things like this,

I understand, I know,

I recognize, The differences…

He wouldn’t cause himself to be hurt,

Or hurt the ones he loves,

If he only knew

If he only understood:

He would fight back

If he could see,

I know when he’s using,

I know when you’re there,

I see when you pull all your stunts

And fool most of your Audience,

But to your misfortune

You can’t fool me.

Like me he ‘will’ come to see

The demon you are,

Living inside of him,

You can’t use me to help pull him in.

(I won’t use again)

Making it that much harder

For you to win,

There isn’t anything left you can do

For love is stronger than you,

He will fight and Win this War

Like I and many others have before,

Even though there’s

So much Struggling to do,

Like I was on this very night

As I was ‘sober,’ fighting you.

I think of all the many examples

That watching him,

Would do to me

If I were to fall,

Just once and let you in again

Letting your poisons come within.

I remind myself of all the things

That he is now,

Just discovering..

Learning from All the lessons of our past,

That we have the strength to fight

All of that, All of the ups and downs,

Because if there’s anything

We’ve become,

Its ‘Good Swimmers’

Especially Good Swimmers..

In the Sea of LIFE!!!

The End!

Written by,

Jennifer Cooley!