A Life Unfolded: Random Emotions

...and i died Don't be suprise because every life has an end. This is me writing out random emotions, describing the moments and how i felt. ...and the moments begin REGRET? ANGER? Been a good kid from scratch A daddy's girl Momma's angel Looked up to momma and papa for advice Momma said focus on education and everything will align well Followed their advice and the right way of life Focused mainly on education from onset Thinking once relationship is the next agenda everything will come on a platter of gold Gaining admission into a prestigious institution Mama said "dress very well" Focus on moving to the next level Now eighteen, relationship next Just understanding mama's "dress well" Now twenty, still single, never been in a relationship, unhappy Where is my platter of gold?

LONELY Contemplating life after school, I'm as lonely as a lone wolf with no partner in sight. I aim to secure a job and spread my wings abroad. Should I venture out and not discover a significant other, there's no turning back. I will tour round the whole world ( enjoying my single life) Sincerely, I'm tired with my single life but alas we go onward I'm tired of this existence Too boring(unexciting) I can't help but wonder if a boyfriend might bring some zest to my life.

Where has he been all this time, leaving me to languish in singleness?

AN UNKNOWN FEELING - CRUSH?

"Well, it's been a long time.

Do I like him?

When I see him, I'm always annoyed with him, but just thinking about him, I miss him.

What's this feeling about?!"

IMAGINATION? FANTASIES?

"Wow! I'm surprised to see the person I've been crushing on for some time at my new place of work. At least one of my fantasies has become a reality."

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"But you are just too closed off.

Funny how others push me to ask on their behalf if they need something from you (sad that they're closer to you than i am now).

When chatting with your so-called friends and telling them how you will treat your companion while staring at me was confusing.

Telling me you know a lot about me (I tried to figure out what it is you knew, but you didn't tell me and kept insisting, while I know basically nothing about you.

Telling your friends that you have done a lot of things for me (I don't know what you did).

I came to keep you company and went to retrieve something I had forgotten somewhere, but on my way back, I saw you had left without any notice (how sad and annoying).

I tried my best to stay in contact with you, but you remained unyielding.

I felt happy when you trusted me with your belongings and kept conversing with me (maybe because I was the only person you knew among us).

How you asked about my trip back home,

How you shielded me from someone (I don't know whether it was out of character or you didn't want that person near me.

How you waved goodbye and said, 'Till next week' (I was jumping with joy that day, so incredibly happy that our relationship was growing.

Little did I know you were slowly drifting away.

I felt annoyed as heck when you wouldn't reply to my messages on time while you were online (I know it's intentional, but I don't know why)."

STILL A CRUSH? CAN I MOVE ON

"Once, I heard about your well-being from someone else, and the pain I felt that day was indescribable. It's like a sharp pang in my heart. It made me realize, unintentionally, you found a place in my heart.

I tried to stop thinking about you for a while. But then, a situation arose, and I decided to check on you. I was both saddened and angered when you didn't respond. Maybe I was foolish for checking, thinking it could change something, while you seemed like an enigma, not opening up.

Now, you're among the hottest boys on campus. I knew it, but I didn't anticipate the admiration and praise you received. It feels like I'm dealing with someone who has countless admirers, and I might be one of the least noticed.

I can't read your feelings, but I genuinely wonder if I can move forward without any regrets. How can I ever know? Should I find the courage to confront this, or would it be embarrassing, damaging my pride? I honestly want to attempt moving on if there's no potential between us. But how do I discern if it's worth the effort? These emotions are exhausting.

Ultimately, the question remains: Can I move on without looking back?"