A Few Thoughts on Pornography

Pornography – the love that can’t help but speak its name.

It is now August. Summer is coming to a close in about a month if you consider what the seasons are like in Canada. I am here, tapping this out on a laptop that I made sure was not connected to the Internet, and I am considering a walk and a visit to a museum or theatre before I decide whether or not to transfer this piece to another laptop and post it for the wide world of Vocal.

Now, you might wonder why I have two laptops in use (both happen to be on the same desk and I do need both of them). As I pointed out, I do have one that is not connected to the Internet; the other is my main contact with the outside world and all of the various pages that I submit to with poems, pieces and stories. This is ideal. There is very little chance of distracting myself.

Now, pray tell, what could I possibly distract myself with on a laptop computer during a rare summer vacation where I have very little money and few opportunities to travel?

And now we turn to the title of this piece.

*

My feelings about pornography are a combination of two very different ideas. The first idea was taken and accepted once I read over a Martin Amis piece on the late Philip Larkin. As some of you might know, Larkin was a godparent to the writer; he was also a man deeply uncomfortable in his own skin who wasted – fair term? – a fair amount of time considering different sexual fantasies that could never come true. In his piece, “The Ending: Don Juan in Hull” in “The War Against Cliché”, Amis writes the following:

“The truth is that pornography is just a sad affair all around.”

Fair enough. And he continues…

“It is there because men…want it to be there. Killing pornography is like killing the messenger.”

This is also a fair assessment, but as I said, my attitude towards it has been formed from two different ideas. There is also the genius and insight that the late comedian Bill Hicks once shared in his comedy routines.

I listened to a brief clip of a set where he discussed the hypocrisy of the drug war, the attack on heavy metal for its alleged influence on youth, and the reason why Americans choose to find things to be miserable about; an enemy to be slain…which of course led him to the topic of pornography:

“A tremor goes through the room…”

He continues…

“The problem with pornography basically is this: no one knows what it is.”

This may sound like he is restricting his argument to the American experience, but Canada is not too far from this cowardly take on the issue. Our Supreme Court has decided that there is only a non-definition of porn, or, as Hicks states:

“The Supreme Court has decided that pornography is anything with no artistic merit and promotes sexual thoughts.”

And? How about the average TV commercial? What about the advertising you now see for clothes in magazines and malls for teenagers?

Finally, he points a finger at the Christian evangelical community that has gone out of its way to attack porn.

“I find it ironic that people who are against sexual thoughts are generally these fundamentalist Christians who believe you should be fruitful and multiply.”

Yes, and there it is again. Hypocrisy has led us down a very dark and uncharted path with our desires contradicting our actions.

I should also point out that both Hicks and Amis were discussing pornography that was pre-Internet. The game has been reset forever.

This is bothering me as I think about how my nephew and niece have been exposed to it compared to my own exposure to porn. Most of what I saw was hidden, forbidden, and difficult to spot. There were magazines hidden under mattresses, behind sofas; movies scrambled on cable TV or hidden in the back area of video stores (remember them?); there were even books – books! – that featured pornographic narratives, such as the young man hired to take care of the grounds of a mansion while the lonely housewife longs for some…company (that is the actual plot of book that I once found in a relative’s book collection). I mention all of these different types of porn because I know that there is now a generation that has absolutely no idea what I am talking about, why it was so difficult to view it, and why it was such a big deal. That seems fair…and disturbing.

Pornography was around us when we were kids. I am a member of what we love to call Generation X, the first one to exposed to computer technology (pre-Internet), video games, pay-per-view television, and VCRs (Beta and VHS, folks!). But we were different… You did not carry it with you when you were on the ride to work, taking a bus or subway trip, writing emails (which did not exist until I was in my twenties; a very important point), or just had a bit of time to fill in. You had to be careful about where and when you looked at it, allowing for a certain amount of creativity in your enjoyment. Now, I have argued that you could type in the most innocuous word in the world onto Google…and you may still find yourself facing pornographic content.

I am not a psychiatrist, analyst, psychologist or any kind of –ist who has studied the subject and obtained a degree in understanding why we like what we like. I am just an observer…and occasional user.

Oh, my. Did someone on the Internet just admit to watching pornography? Did a writer who has gone through quarantining, working from home, curfews and the loss of certain work contracts just admit to his interest in watching fantasies on an overpriced typewriter?

Why, yes, I did. And I know that I am not alone. The majority of people on the Internet are looking at porn. I have seen people on public computers at the government-funded libraries in this city downloading and viewing it while I have searched for books and tried to ignore the scene right next to me.

Are we lonely? Are we still able to have relationships that are not stained with the worst fantasies about how love and sex should work? Should I even mention love and sex in the same article with everything that has happened in the last three years?

Maybe I am writing this because I have always felt that I had an advantage. I never had the access that is such a powerful feature of our technology (and to all the parents out there: if your son or daughter has a laptop and wi-fi available to them, they have seen and enjoyed porn). I do not envy an entire generation with access to the magical sex box because there is a possibility that the box may change; it may even be taken away from you, or at least have its access limited or denied. Don’t laugh. People thought that Roe vs. Wade would never be rescinded, either. What will you do if laws pass that succeed in blocking porn? It is not the same as having people protesting in front of a local variety store attempting to remove those magazines from a top shelf, or shut down a video store that decided to expand their clientele (yes, I have seen both types of protests in action). Be prepared for it. Whatever two adults...or many adults...or one bored adult with a special device...decide to do to each other on camera should be their own business and our pleasure to enjoy.

Well, that is all I have to say about this topic…for now. What should I do with all this free time?

;)

Thank you for reading!

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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