7 November 2023

10 years ago, this past Tuesday on 7 November, a rather evil person violated and almost murdered me. 10 years ago on 7 November 2013, this person told me I was ugly, lame, and that no one would ever love me.

I lived with that for so long and I finally learned that he was a liar. This was the second anniversary that I'm in a relationship with a loving partner and the first anniversary where I could be comfortable being intimate with someone. Although, some PTSD did surface for a few days after, and that loving partner had to tell me I was okay. He said this was also to be expected.

10 years ago on this day was the absolute worst day of my life, but I survived it by the grace of G-d and a guardian angel.

10 years ago I never thought I'd have a loving partner who accepts my goofy ace behind. I've come a long way since 7 November 2013.

David treated me to a self care evening full of laughter, video games and Fairy Tale. He knows that I love RPGs and party games, and when I saw his friend play something that looked like pigeons, I had to ask. I love pigeons and I loved playing Head Bangers. I played Head Bangers while cuddling up with David.

I felt safe in his presence, knowing 10 years ago at that very moment, I was going home with my rapist and he poured me some Jack Daniels. He asked if I was thirsty and I said I was. He went into another room to get Pepsi or Coke, and after I drank some, I don't remember much. What I do remember feels like a nightmare.

While in previous years I got tattoos and piercings, it was a loving type of pain to over write the trauma pain, but this year it was just love. No pain involved, just love and comfort. I felt nothing but love on 7 November 2023.

I can't change what happened to me ten years ago and while I still live with the PTSD associated with that night, I use that to help others cope with the trauma they went through. I also like to show people that there is life after trauma and that you can still have loving relationships. It may not seem that way in the darkest moment of your life and ten years ago I never imagined I'd have someone like David, a decent job, and great friends, and for a few years with my anger from the PTSD, it didn't seem possible. Yet, with therapy and starting my Happiness Box Project, I've been able to overcome a little bit of it. I know the PTSD will be lifelong, but I work on making it more manageable.

David has had to learn and adjust. He's been doing a great job, even if some days are harder than others. I'm beyond grateful for him. Thank you for making a difficult anniversary more manageable. It was 10 years since I started my new second life and I'm glad you joined the journey. I'm glad you walk with me hand in hand along this path that I forged 10 years ago. While I'm not the same person as I was on 6 November 2013 and you will never know the person I was before 7 November 2013, I am grateful that you do know me. I almost died that night and if it was successful, you wouldn't have known me at all. I'm full of energy and adventure now, and I'm glad you let me take you.