Hi guys
So my experience with dating hasn't been the greatest. I have two ex-boyfriends and have been on a total of 4 dates. None of the dates and relationships worked out for me. My first boyfriend use bad mouth me, he wasn't mature, he fakes promises and doesn't deliver on the promises, just a lot of stuff happened. My second ex-boyfriend, we dated for one month and he basically used me by pretending he liked me when in reality he was using me. He left me for another girl, and that relationship messed me up real bad. He was clearly immature and wasn't ready for a serious relationship. But, I am so glad I moved on now. On the other 4 dates I went on, we didn't match, most of them were players and we weren't compatible in the end. So I learned a lot from dating and now I'm going to share with you, 12 red flag signs of dating.
1. Oversteps boundaries too quickly. When it comes to boundaries, everyone has different, mental, physical or sexual boundaries. When dating someone new, it's all about exploring these boundaries. Don't let anyone pressure you into bending your boundaries. and the worse part is when someone straight-up asks too many personal questions and does not respect your time. When someone doesn't respect your boundaries, it means they give no little about your feelings or even care enough to respect them.
2. The past comes back to haunt them, and that means crazy exes. If the guy you dating has crazy exes that's a huge red flag. When they talk about the past, they try to act like the victim and make it seem like their ex is crazy when in reality the crazy one is them. If you have nothing good to say about your ex, then keep your mouth closed because they have nothing good to say about you.
3. They bring you to their house or apartment on the first date. Like, if you guys are talking for a while, and the guy invites you to a movie and dinner at their house, that's a red flag. Especially on the first date, never go to their place on the first date. That is a big No, I learned.
4. Not introducing to family and friends. When it comes to dating someone, at one point, the guy would have to introduce you to family and friends. If they're not telling your family or friends about you then that's a red flag to watch out for.
5. When they start a relationship, and then three weeks later there talk about marriage, having kids and moving way too fast is a red flag
6. Getting angry for no reason. We all get frustrated from time to time, but if it gets too much and the person is getting angry on the road driving, having like road range and the anger gets worse, then that's a red flag.
7. He gives you a promise ring, and promises he'll marry you but in reality, he gives nothing and does nothing. Not showing any action, always lying and making false promises.
8. The relationship is one-sided, you're trying to make the relationship work and you're the only one trying, if that happens and you're the only one investing time and energy into the relationship then that is a major red flag.
9. When it comes to being intimate with each other, and the girl does not want to do it, the guy saying no to this, doesn't respect you or care about you at all.
10. This one is pretty obvious, if he cheats on you, or two-timing you, that's an obvious sign he doesn't love you or like you. What kind of guy cheats or girl cheats, cheating is wrong, and it should never happen in a relationship.
11.When it comes to the way you dress, he controls what you wear, like he makes you wear something sexual and makes you wear something of a respectful woman. All I am saying is no guy should tell you what to wear and how to dress. You can wear both things.
12. Last but not least, we have come to the last one, he makes fun of you over the littlest things, and doesn't support you. He should be cheering you on, not making fun of you.
So those are 12 red flag signs of dating. If I am missing something please let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Feven G
Hi, my name is Feven, and I am an Eritrean Canadian living in Toronto, Ontario. I am a creative individual who enjoys writing and creating content. If you want to know more about my experiences, I would be happy to share them with you. ☺️
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My LDR story 💜
So it all started on March 11, 2022. I met this fantastic guy on a dating app. The app is called "Jebena, " an East African dating app. So, I am 30 years old and still haven't given up on finding love. To find love, you have to put yourself out there, so that's what I did; I matched with someone on the Jebena app. I think this time he could be the one. I feel this way because he shows me signs that he could be the one. His communication is great, talking every day, whether by text or phone call. He texts me good morning every morning and goodnight when he goes to bed. There is a bit of time difference because he lives in Norway, but that doesn't stop him from remembering to text or call me. I feel I can trust him after three months of talking and getting to know each other. He is a charming, kind and honest man. We talk about everything from school to our jobs, family, favourite tv shows or movies. Some things I learned about him when it comes to movies and tv shows. He likes Marvel movies and superheroes. I'm not too fond of Marvel movies, but I'd watch it for him. When I started a tv show called Gilmore girls and guess what, he had watched it before, so each time we called each other, I told him not to tell me what happened. So after two months, I finished Gilmore girls. It was a great show. Another thing he does is talk about the future. He talks about school and about going back to school to finish his studies. He works now in an investment company and writes articles for his blog. One thing we have in common is that we both have blogs. I would say we're doing pretty good in our lives and our careers. Another thing I like to note is that we are open with each other. I opened up about my mental health struggles. Something was telling me to be open and honest about it. So when I first told him about what happened, he was so understanding and realized that in our Eritrean community, it's not discussed. We understand there's a lot of stigma about mental health and nobody seems to talk about it. That was a relief when I was open to him about my mental health and taking medication, and he was calm and understanding while I was talking to him about it. Now that it is out in the open, I like to add that we talked about everything, and one of the other things we talked about recently was the subject of having children in the future. I wanted us to be on the same page about wanting kids, but not wanting kids is a deal-breaker for me. So I didn't know what he was going to say, but I wrote out what I was going to say and then sent it to him. Then, after he read it, he was open and honest about his thoughts on children in the future. He told me he wants children someday but would like to wait a bit. And that answer was okay with me; I agreed. So he would want to wait. That is a good answer for me. We talked about mostly everything leading up to now. We discussed in March how we would make this long-distance relationship work. He and I want this to work. Whether it be him coming to see me or me coming to see him, we discussed it and agreed that he would be the one to see me first. We would make it happen. Now, I am happy to say he delivered on his promise. Three weeks ago, July 16, was the day that he came from Norway to visit me. He flew overseas to see me. So leading up to July 16, I was nervous because we would be seeing each other for the first time. I thought he wouldn't like me in person, just the usual anxiety feelings. So when that day came, I had to get everything ready at the Airbnb because we rented out an Airbnb in Vaughn for one week. So, I had help from my cousin and friend to set up things at the Airbnb. I blew up welcome balloons, taped them to a wall, and got him a thoughtful gift, a book I created online with a cartoon story of him and me. When the time came to pick him up at the airport, I was nervous but excited to meet him in person. So what happened was, funny story, my cousin and I went to the wrong terminal to pick him up. So he got there before we did. We were standing at terminal 3, not Terminal 1, so we had to take a train to terminal 1 to meet him. So when we got there, my cousin was videotaping the whole moment. I was so nervous; my cousin saw him before I saw him, then she swung me behind a wall. It was hilarious thinking about it now. Then I got the courage to walk up to him, and he saw me, and when we saw each other, everything felt right. We hugged for a very long time and took a picture together. After dropping us off there, the first night was so lovely. He was a gentleman the whole week; he would do small things like holding my hands, opening car doors, and cooking for me. He is a great cook; he made grilled cheese with Nutella and this bolognese sauce, which tasted so good. The whole week was beautiful, and I had a great time with him. We visited the Kensington market, CN tower, moxies and jackastors. We watched a tv show called a lethal weapon, and the movie Raya and the last dragon. Both were entertaining. We chilled mostly inside for two days doing that, and then, July 20 was a Wednesday, and it was a big day because he would be visiting my parents; it was pretty nerve-racking, but everything went well; we had traditional coffee and ate dinner there. I would say my parents liked him. All and all, we enjoyed our time. He left on Friday, July 22, and it was the hardest saying goodbye, but we made it like a see you later kind of thing. Although, I did cry a lot the night before. Overall, It was the best week of my life and what was better is we made things official and were boyfriend and girlfriend. He is so affectionate. We have plans to see each other for his birthday in November, so we will see what happens then. Stay tuned!
By Feven G2 years ago in Confessions
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The sound of gunfire is deafening in the centre of my city, a place that was once alive with laughter and vitality. Every day, the ceaseless barrage of gunfire snuffs out lives and crushes hopes, leaving the streets a bleak symphony of violence.
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