Walter Kist & the Seven Whorls Chapter 2

After four weeks of training I was given three students: Mr. Spade, a young man who wore purple John Lennon specs; Mr. Gow who wore a black eye patch; and Mr. Scammel, a retired accountant who wore school-principal glasses, through which the pain of his recent divorce could easily be seen.

From the Academy Manual: Section Two: The Cincinnati Six

1. Show a keen interest in your student. Ask questions such as: “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “Do you like to travel?”

2. Compliment your student on his or her attire: “What a lovely dress.” “Nice suit!”

3. Follow up your compliments with more questions: “Where did you get that beautiful scarf?” “Was your tie a gift?” “Oh really, from whom?”

4. Giving examples from your own life will help your student open up about theirs. You can even make things up about yourself to help your student feel more comfortable about revealing personal information. “I too have been through a difficult divorce.”

Mr. Scammel needed very little bogus interest from me. With each step I taught him, he willingly gave up a piece of his broken heart, sharp shards I would eventually use for the kill.

I called it scamming the Scammel.

Spade on the other hand answered my every question with a question. When it seemed he was expressing more than professional interest, I quoted Academy Rule #6 to him:

“Teachers are not permitted to socialize with students outside of the studio.” Still, with each lesson he tried a different way to persuade me to meet with him. Like a good Academy soldier I resisted, but barely.

I was also barely resisting the beckoning tart. “Easy money,” she whispered in my ear every night as I soaked my feet. I told her that blisters from foxtrotting were preferable to black eyes from streetwalking, and I kept on teaching at the studio.

When the Scammel’s last class arrived, I took him through his final paces then waltzed him straight into Miss Deermont’s office. Delivering a speech I’d prepared, extolling his virtues and delicately touching upon the downfall of his marriage, I brought him to tears. As he unfolded his big white handkerchief to blow his nose I recommended him for the Lifetime Membership. Miss D nodded in grave consideration. My job done, I left the room.

Passing through the main studio I observed Miss Toy rhumba-ing before the mirrors, her scrawny charge unable to take his eyes off the controlled swivel of her fuchsia-clad hips: the Sin Six in full action.

Spade’s lesson was next. It was his last and I knew full well there’d be no kill. So, as we tangoed past Miss D’s office I peered in through the glass doors to verify that the Scammel was indeed signing the papers. Witnessing my conquest, a feeling of satisfaction fell over me - but at the same time I wanted to burst into the office, take the hook out of the Scammel’s mouth and throw him back to freedom.

“This is our final class,” Spade mumbled in my ear. “I would really like to see you again.”

“Sign up for more classes then.”

“Put me down for another six,” he said. “But, as you know, I’m not that interested in the tango or the salsa. Meet me at Lost Lagoon at sundown?”

I shot him a stony glare but inside I was feeling as warm as the smooth stones at Locarno Beach on a sunny day. We finished our class in relative silence, only the soft scrape of his shoes, the click-tap of my heels and the rhythmic words falling from my mouth like snowflakes in the night: “Slow slow quick quick slow.”

After Spade’s class I headed straight for a bar up the street and slid into a red velvet booth. I ordered a scotch on the rocks then closed my eyes to the cacophony of tango entanglements.

When I opened them, who should I see sitting at the bar but the Scammel staring into his glass of melted dreams. No doubt he was lamenting the fact that in a matter of months he had gone from the sacred contract of marriage to the profane contract of Lifetime Member at the Deermont Academy of Ballroom Dance.

Sins One through Six and counting. I downed my scotch and vamoosed in three quarter time.

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Thank you to my fabulous actors/models: Aaron Schwartz, Tony Dunn and Anna May Henry. - MW

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