The Situation

Part 2 of The Situation

I started to have heartburn, not to be cocky but I never had heartburn in my 34 years before this started, I was able to make an appointment with my doctor thinking it would be different somehow but somehow it wasn't because she came up with the conclusion it was only indigestion but for me, it didn't sound right because of what happened to me previously, but I listened to her because she is a doctor and at the time 'I used to believe that doctors knew everything and they are supposed to be right 100% of the time especially when they are playing with people's lives. My beliefs have changed quite a bit since then. I don't think of them like that anymore.

The doctor prescribed me milk of magnesium to my surprise it worked, later on, I found out that milk of magnesium is good for blood clots and healing to some degree of internal bleeding but too much of it can hurt your kidneys and can cause stomach ulcers.

After a couple of weeks, my "heartburn" went away and I remembered a very cool sensation crawling across my chest when I took the medicine. I'm pretty sure that, that type of sensation is supposed to come down to your stomach not across your chest as I felt.

Now after a month I started to feel a weird heartbeat behind my left shoulder blade and it used to move or should I say beat faster after moving or walking strenuously and my hands used to get numb and had full body tremors when exposed to any level of caffeine, I remember waking up at 4 am feeling the intensity of my whole body shaking and I walked to the living room sitting on the couch shaking when my cat came up to me in my time of need and just sat with me while this tremor past.

I knew I accidentally overdose on c4 and the supplements when I first took a sip of the soda in the theater that night, I literally felt a nerve in my head pop.

So I again made another appointment, I told her my new symptoms, she made a diagnosis and she came up that I had anxiety or some sort of depression. This kind of made me smirk a bit because if she knew my family background and issues, she would have known that I had suffered from depression since I was 7 years old, and now at 34, I have been passed that. I have gotten over it in my 20s or at least I Substituted with girls and alcohol. But I knew I didn't feel like I did when I was depressed and suicidal. This was something physically happening to me. 'I'm not saying you should party all the time to overcome depression because you can't run away or avoid the problem especially when they are in your own head'.

So the doctor gave me some (downers) medicine to calm my "anxiety" and told me to take half a pill when and if I had a tremor, later on, I started to have one and it didn't work.

Then made an appointment with a specialist about my tremors and numbness in my hands and all he did was poke me in one of my hands and said "Do you feel that?" I said yes but right now my hands are fine it comes and goes, I also asked him about the pop that occurred in my head at the time when all this started but there was no further acknowledgment, and wrote on my chart that I had depression followed by anxiety.

So even though I made appointments with different doctors to get their opinion, they read my chart and automatically ignored my cries for help.

And this was just the beginning!