The Quiet Bruise - Chapter 2

The sound of Darrens car coming into the driveway was something Alice heard before he actually got home.

Alice was in the kitchen when she heard it. She was standing there with a plate in her hands. She was not really drying it because it was already dry. The sound of the car engine and the crunch of the gravel under the tires made her feel something in her chest. It was like her body knew what it meant.

He was home now.

Alice put the plate away in the cupboard. Made sure it was lined up with the other plates. Everything had to be in its place. This was not something Darren had ever told her to do. It was something she had learned to do anyway. When everything was neat and tidy there were questions.. When there were fewer questions there was less tension.

Sometimes that was true anyway.

The front door. Closed and then Alice heard Darrens footsteps. They were steady and slow. She could hear each one echoing through the house.

"Alice " Darren said.

"I am in the kitchen " Alice replied. Her voice was calm and steady.

Darren came into the kitchen. Leaned against the doorway. He was loosening his tie and his eyes were moving around the room. He was taking everything in noticing all the things.

"What is for dinner?" he asked.

"Chicken and rice " Alice said. "It is almost ready."

Darren nodded,. His face did not change. It did not get softer or anything.

"I had a day " he said. He was not really talking to Alice though.

Alice waited for a moment before she said anything. "Do you want some tea?" she asked.

Darren shrugged. "If it is not much trouble " he said.

The words he used were casual. They felt heavy somehow. Alice moved quickly to get the kettle.

"It is not any trouble " she said quietly.

Alice filled the kettle with water. Put it on the stove. Behind her she could hear Darren moving around putting his things away and pulling out a chair. These were all sounds but they did not feel normal. They felt like someone was watching her.

Dinner was quiet. It was not a comfortable quiet. It was a tense quiet. It felt like there was something between them that they were not talking about.

Alice focused on things like how she was holding her fork and how she was breathing. She had learned that paying attention to these things helped her. It gave her something to control when everything else felt uncertain.

Darren did not say much at first. He just ate his dinner.. Then after a few minutes he spoke up.

"This chicken is a bit dry " he said.

Alices grip on her fork got tighter.

"I can make some sauce " she said quickly. ". I can do something else."

"It is fine " Darren said. "I just thought you would notice."

The words he used were soft. They lingered. They felt like they were hanging in the air.

"I will do better time " Alice said.

Darren did not say anything. He just kept eating like the conversation was over.

Alice swallowed slowly. She was not really hungry anymore.

Later when she was washing the dishes Darren was sitting in the living room. The TV was on. It was casting flickering lights on the walls. The sound of the TV filled the house. It did not feel like noise. It felt like a barrier something that kept them from talking.

Alice was standing at the sink her hands in the water.

"You were quiet today " Darren said suddenly. His voice carried from the room.

Alices chest got tighter.

"I was just busy " she said.

"Busy with what?" Darren asked.

Alice waited for a moment.

The truth felt too small to say out. She was just. Thinking and trying not to think.

"Just things around the house " she said instead.

There was a pause.

Then Darren said, "You should find something productive to do with your time."

Alice looked at the plate in her hands.

"I will look into something " she said.

"Do not just look " Darren said. "Do it."

His voice was not loud. It did not need to be.

That night Alice did not sleep well.

She was lying on her side facing away from Darren her eyes open in the dark. The room felt heavier than usual like the air was thicker.

Her mind started to wander like it often did when everything else was still.

She thought about the past about the days. There was a time when Darrens voice felt reassuring when his opinions felt like guidance. When his presence felt like support, not pressure.

She tried to remember when things had changed. She could not pinpoint the exact moment. It had been gradual, like a lot of things adding up.

She remembered the time Darren had made her question her memory.

"You are remembering it wrong " he had said. His tone was calm and certain.

She had been so sure of what had happened. The way he said it made her hesitate. Maybe she was wrong.

That hesitation had been enough.

Now Alice questioned herself before Darren even had the chance to.

Her phone buzzed softly breaking into her thoughts.

Alice reached for her phone on the bedside table trying not to make much noise. The screen lit up illuminating the room.

There was a message from her friend.

I'm serious Alice. Are you okay?

Alice stared at the words her chest getting tighter.

Her friends concern felt distant like something from a life she no longer really belonged to.. It stirred something in her something she had been trying to keep quiet.

Connection.

She turned slightly glancing at Darren. He was asleep his breathing steady and unaffected.

Alice unlocked her phone carefully.

Her fingers hovered over the screen.

This time she did not lock it.

I do not know she typed.

She stared at the words her heart beating faster.

Then before she could think about it much she pressed send.

The message sat there small and simple. It felt heavy.

For a moment nothing happened.

Then her phone buzzed again.

What do you mean you do not know? Talk to me.

Alice swallowed hard.

Her mind was racing with possibilities with consequences with fear.. Something in her the same quiet part that had asked Is this all there is? pushed forward.

Things are just... Not good she typed.

She paused, added, I do not think they have been good for a long time.

Her breath caught as she sent it.

The silence that followed felt different.

Not empty.

Waiting.

The morning everything looked the same.

The same light came through the curtains. The same sounds filled the house. The same routines unfolded, step by step.

Something felt different.

Alice noticed it as she moved through the kitchen as she made breakfast as she listened for Darrens footsteps.

It was subtle.

It was there.

A shift.

Not in the world around her. In something deeper.

For the time in a long time Alice had said something true.

Not out loud, not to the person who needed to hear it most. It existed now outside of her own thoughts.

That made it real.

Darren came into the kitchen adjusting his watch.

"You are up early " he said.

"I could not sleep " Alice replied.

He nodded, not looking particularly interested.

"Try not to nap during the day " he said. "It will just make it worse."

"I will not " Alice said.

He grabbed a piece of toast from the counter taking a bite.

"You should start thinking about what I said yesterday " he added. "About doing something "

Alice hesitated.

"I have been thinking about it " she said slowly.

Darren looked at her.

". " He asked.

Alices heart began to beat

"I might reach out to a friend " she said. "Just to... Reconnect."

The words felt fragile as they left her mouth.

Darrens expression shifted slightly.

"Why?" he asked.

The question was simple. It carried something underneath.

Alice held his gaze even as her instinct told her to look

"I just think it would be good for me " she said.

There was a pause.

Then Darren shrugged.

"Do what you want " he said, though his tone suggested otherwise.

Alice nodded, her hands despite the tension building in her chest.

"I will."

After Darren left the house felt different again.

This time Alice did not immediately move to fill the silence.

She stood still in the middle of the kitchen her phone in her hand.

The message, from the night was still there.

So was the response.

You do not have to go through this.

Alice read the words slowly.

She had not done this in a time but now she thought about the words and if they might be true.

She walked to the window. The morning light felt nice on her face.

Outside people were doing what they always do. They were going about their lives. They did not know about the problems that people were having behind closed doors.

Alice put her hand on the glass.

The question she had the day came back to her.

Is this all there is?

This time the answer was not far away.

It was not easy to understand.

It was not, for sure.

It was closer.

For now that was okay.