Nowhere Else to Go, but Up

Discovering Vocal For The First Time Ever

On a typical day, I came across a platform that could also serve as a personal diary. I thought, Why not? I had a thing or two to let out of my chest, and I've always been prone to experimentation, especially if it had to do with writing. I signed up. I filled out a quick profile, used my most recent headshot and started writing my bio. Within a few days, I got the gist of it, and something remarkable happened. After exploring my interests, I found some amazing members who, like me, were trying their hand at it and checking out the general vibe. Following people with similar interests is an excellent shortcut that saves you a lot of time.

A lot. Instead of scrolling incessantly looking for people you'd want to read, that simple hack brings them to you instantly. “How great is that!” I thought. And it paid off beautifully. In less than a day, I had amassed a library of Substack writers and would-be writers who post their work daily, weekly, or biweekly, and so on.

Discovering a New Creative Home

After that, I found some writing groups whose interests were to mingle with other writers and exchange doodles written on air via Zoom within the allotted time, and share whatever piece we wrote after the session ended. Another fantastic idea. Initially, we spent about ten minutes discussing daily life, after which we received a prompt and ventured into the unknown. Improv 101.

As an exercise, I couldn't think of a better practice. So many elements were combined into this little package of time, talent, and guts that, after a couple of weeks, I couldn't wait for the next meeting. At the end of each session, we'd have a productive discussion to examine and comment on each piece's strengths. Few times in my life have I felt like I have written something meaningful (besides poetry) and shared it with the world for everyone to see. I must recommend that single hour of creativity to anyone interested in writing. If for nothing else, at the very least, conquer inhibitions; be part of a positive and encouraging writing group; and, like I said, have an experience that eventually pays off in a very rewarding way.

The Stroke That Stopped Everything

Disaster strikes.

Unfortunately, I suffered a terrible stroke and had to be hospitalised for quite a long time, so I had to stop everything. It was sad to say goodbye, but the support you gave me was priceless. Of course, the well-wishes also included a promise to eventually return. Another great lesson on humanity.

After my stay at the hospital and the discharge, having to adjust to an impossible way to live was precisely that, impossible. Having to learn to survive without bothering people and asking for help every minute of the day was beyond difficult. It was depressing and awful. I felt like a broken being would feel. Lonely, most of all.

After what felt like an eternity, with my chaotic life consuming every moment of my day, I finally managed to carve out some time for myself outside the non-stop therapies. Incredible.

Just incredible.

Returning to Vocal

I decided to take a look at my old self there. 6 months had passed with no one knowing what happened to me. I didn't have time to disclose it, and it wasn't important. Not for anybody else. It was personal and only affected me. My stroke. My Life. But it was a shock to see that so few people unsubscribed. I honestly had trouble believing that was possible. A few have sent messages enquiring about my absence, and I felt a strange sense of guilt. Guilt!

I saw ‘my people’ sticking to their subscriptions, even the paid ones; all 15 of them remained. In all those six months out of circulation, only 3 or 4 cancelled their paid commitment, and how could I blame them? Nobody has money to throw away. For all they knew, I could've been dead.

There was a personal friend of mine who knew me before the “incident" and who kindly became a paid subscriber on a different platform right away. When I told her what had happened, I also advised her to cancel the whole thing, as I didn't know if, when, or, most importantly, how I could return to write on the platform. She refused. She refused to save her money and continue her paid subscription because she assured me I “WILL get better and be back where I once was". I insisted; no, you can't know that. I don't know that. I said, “It's possible--actually most likely--that I will never write again." One word she used for an answer:

"Nonsense."

If I didn't feel guilty yet, that sealed it. Only a true lifelong friend would act in that manner, and she was probably the catalyst I needed to keep going. I was determined to find a solution, even if it meant using the thumb of my non-dominant hand.

To my bestie, Michele Du. You taught me an unteachable lesson, and I will always be deeply grateful to you. I continued to write because your friendship has exceeded all expectations. And it's unbreakable. Thank you! ♥🌹

Rebuilding With One Thumb and Gratitude Beyond Words

As time passed and I gathered strength, both emotionally and otherwise, I made considerable progress in every sense of the word. I learned to type using Speak-to-Text, along with a special Gboard keyboard that allows me to slide to form words. Most importantly, I learned to be stubborn. Pride in my work and perseverance. It might not be the same as before, but what in life is, after a massive stroke? At this moment, I can only express gratitude for my ability to do anything at all!

I'm not sure where I would be right now if this event hadn't happened, but what I learned in the process, and am still learning, is something that money can't buy. Resilience, the faithfulness of true friends, the support of everybody who learned of my shortcomings and the love shown in my feed every day. And for that, I'll be eternally grateful. Blessed and humbled.❣️

Love,

René

Next in the Series:

How my publication, against the odds, began growing again – and what I’m doing now to keep my readers engaged. That means every one of you.

Alternatively:

👉 https://buymeacoffee.com/renevolpib

Thank you!