Japan, A Land of Peace and Serenity

On my trip to Tokyo, Japan it has been the most humbling experience and one of my toughest lessons in humility, but not for the reasons you might think.

The most recent focus on my healing process in therapy has been letting my inner Child live the life He wanted to and I take my hands off the reins. Yet throughout this journey I've never felt more anger in my life directed both inwards and outwards. As if my inner child's decades of repression have finally reached the surface. He's angry that God made him a lion only to silence his roar. What is a lion without the very thing that commands respect and silence. It is in this way I am humbled to learn how to remain a lion without roaring simply because I can. Instead I am being taught there is a time and place to let your presence be known but that time is not now.

There have been times I wanted to scream out across these beautiful places so peaceful and serene. Just to let out that anger,but that's not right so I wrote about it instead. I wrote about how my inner child never felt seen growing up unless he roared otherwise he only ever existed in the shadows of others. And he is full of rage for having been systematically denied the chance to be a child, to be human and to explore. He is reminded of what he lost his first time in war and the pieces that never quite fell back into place. Most of all he is angry that he can't be angry for others, isn't that insane?

I ran into a woman who had experienced the war in Ukraine first hand and it shook her to her core, she was never the same. All I could think about was how grateful I was that I found a way to heal even for just a moment of time because it broke my heart to see another person so defeated by life.And I knew there was nothing I could do that made it all the worse.

By far the biggest contrast was the peace I felt in these shrines, temples, Mt. Fuji and lush green forests. I felt so small in comparison but I was content in where I was and my size. It's like how these trees have withstood centuries of change, storms and stress and stand above the rest. I wanted to be like them more than anything, and maybe that's my next focus on life. Living my life like a tree, placing roots where ever I go and to be nourished but also nourish everything around me.

I still have so much to learn from this world and it shows everyday. I take a bit of the peace I found in Japan and carry it with me on my journey. I am finding once again who I am, who my inner child wanted to be. He's learning how to be seen, and be heard and make himself known. That is all I could ever ask for. My journey next takes me to Thailand so stay tuned for more!