I started writing a book today.

Linus

April 23, 2023

Today I woke up and it was different. I’m just a dog, so there are some things I don’t understand, but I know when something is different. I can either smell, or taste, or feel the difference. And today something on my inside felt not normal anymore. It is not a bad feeling, and it doesn’t hurt but I know. This is how I know I am not a puppy anymore. When you are a dog, you are either Puppy for a lot of many years or Old. So, I think this means I am Old now.

Anyways and Mom keeps saying I’m her sweet old man. I know “old” means I can’t play fribee anymore with Dad even though I want to. I know “old” means sometimes it is hard to lay down on my bed or sometimes to stand up. This has been going on for a long time, and some days I have an easier time, and sometimes it is too hard, so I just sleep a little longer. One time the stairs were really slippery, and I got stuck so Mom had to hold my back legs to help. She tells me, “I’ll do anything for you, Buddy.” She has a lot of names for me. Linus is my real name but I think sometimes she forgets because she says, “Buddy.” “Bubs.” “Bubba.” “Mister.” “Handsome Boy.” “Good Boy.” “Mister Linus.” “Rafiki.” “Old Man.” But I know they are all my names because of the way she says them because her words are warm and her eyes get sparkles like when we go to the water and the sun sparkles on the waves that crash and then chase me. When she calls me Old Man though, sometimes her eyes leak and I can smell the tears and they smell warm-sad. She calls me Bubs the most though. I like that name. It sounds like Happy.

In the morningtime Mom comes to find me and sometimes I sleep in the bathroom where I am closer to her and can watch her door, and sometimes I sleep by the window to make sure the house is safe while my people sleep. Sometimes I sleep in the place they call my “Box.” They say, “Go to your Box.” And I know this means the place with the black lines made of metal and has a roof that feels like a den and has my snuggliest blanket and pillow and sometimes snacks. I like my box. It feels like Safe. So I sleep in many places. When I was first in this body and she was first my Mom, I would sleep next to her in bed and she would hold me really close and then I got too big and Independent so I would sleep at the bottom of the bed and then one day I went to my own bed on the ground and I like this bed too because it is special just for me.

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