Do I Need to Pack a Gun or a Bag Full of Money

HE'S BACK !!!!!

In the last episode (the final one for Part II - Ben Boa and the Chinese Conundrum”), things were heating up. As Ben kicked off his ‘Speak Up’ campaign, he faced some old problems and found unexpected support. 

Fired up and ready to tackle the world, suddenly the brakes were put on.  Doug Selfritous informed him that he needed to go to China.  The upside was that Ben was going with Tina, but he didn’t know what he'd be doing, for how long, or any other details. And what about Tina? What about his ‘Speak Up’ campaign? Who was going to feed his cat?

Hang on… he doesn’t have a cat, does he? … Read on.

  ******

Ben spent the rest of his day talking to people about ‘Speaking Up’.  He was exhausted. His campaign resulted in six process improvements. It also identified three situations for further investigation.  He had also tried to explain to four people why it was not his job to go and talk to their Manager about why they did not like them and why they had not been promoted for three years. But he still had that nagging feeling that something else was looming.  Why had Jerome Gotagoodline gone all quiet?

He knew Mr. T. and Penny had something to do with it, but he couldn't put his finger on it.  He had learned a lot about culture in his short stint in Compliance.  He knew that culture was a feeling.  It was more about how people in a company tackled things.  It included how their managers led them and the direction set by the senior executives in charge.  He also learned that you could teach people about compliance, but you couldn’t make them compliant. 

People had to build it themselves.  He wasn’t sure what his job was, but it was the first time he felt like he had found a home.  He was up for the challenge that this thing called compliance offered.

Just then there was a knock on his door.  He turned around.  Great! She filled the doorway like a monster from the deep – Penny Promo, his arch-enemy from marketing.  What did she want, he wondered?

Talk about going from a high to the bottom of the pit.  She was a real whacka.*  She was an example of everything wrong with Compliance.  He was just about to let loose with a few choice words when he noticed something very different about her look.  She was not the usual pompous git he had come to recognise.  He decided to be nice, although he usually regretted this.

“Penny, what can I do for you?” he started, trying to force out a smile.

“Ben, I need to talk to you.  I need to “Speak Up.”

Ben just about fell off his chair; he was ‘gobsmacked’.** Had he converted his biggest rival into a new way of looking at things?  Had his “Speak Up’ program been that successful in such a short period of time?

“Ben, I’ve always thought you were an idiot. I still do,” said Penny.

I knew it, thought Ben. I have been sucked in again.  When will I ever learn?  Some people just never change their spots.

“Ben, I think you are right.  Some funny things are going on in Marketing. Jerome asked me to review some items for the corrective action plan from the internal audit since he arrived. Some things just don’t add up.  I am worried because I have been involved in these, and I am scared I am in trouble.”

“Penny, do you think you have done things that were against the policies or the Code of Business Conduct?”  inquired Ben, suddenly concerned.

“No, Ben, but I am not sure because, well, I didn’t do all the training that I got. I cheated on some of the modules, so I don’t really know, to be honest.  Am I going to go to jail because some of the things seem to be very wrong?”

“Penny, Penny, Penny.”  Ben could not resist.  He was going to make her sweat a bit.  All the time she had given him curry.

“You realise, I will have to report you for misconduct, Miss Promo.” 

He was loving it!

Wow, thought Ben, I have cracked the code of silence.

“Penny, I want you to tell me everything that you have found out.  Has anyone told you to keep quiet about this?”

Penny went quiet.  She was just about to speak again when Tina walked in.

“Sorry, Ben, Penny. I did not realise,” apologised Tina.

Penny got up and rushed out. “I will talk to you later”, she said over her shoulder, eager to get out as quickly as she could.

Ben hadn't seen Tina since his meeting with Doug, and he wasn't sure what to expect.  Would Tina be pleased, horrified or something else?

“Hi, Ben, can we talk?” asked Tina.

Ben reluctantly agreed; he knew this would be a difficult conversation. She had already offered him the "we work together deal." He got used to it, but now he worried she was returning to China.

“Ben, I know that you and I are going to China next week.  Doug thinks it will be good training for you.  I don’t.  I think it will be very hard for you.  Don’t forget I have been there before, and I do not think you are ready for it, but Doug is the boss,” said Tina.

Ben had not seen Tina look so tentative; she almost had tears in her eyes.  What happened in China?

Was it like Vegas, what happens in China stays in China?  [Sorry I couldn’t resist!]

“You don’t understand, Ben. It is very different.  Things are not what they seem, and it is, well, unpredictable.  They have a different culture from us,” said Tina with a very troubled look.

“Don’t worry! I will protect you,” replied Ben, being the chivalrous knight on a white horse.

“I don’t think you can,” said Tina, completely knocking the stuffing out of Ben.  I mean, how much can a koala bear!***

Ben had put up with a lot.  He felt Tina had led him on at the start, then run away to China and not even written to him.  Just when he was starting to get over her, she was back, being all nice and even got him a job in Compliance.  Since then, it had all been downhill.  Now she was just making him very nervous.

“When I was there last time, I found some things that were, well - not good.”

“Not good,” asked Ben “What do you mean ‘not good?’”

“Not good,” repeated Tina.

“Are we talking bribery, corruption, fraud, theft, poor management, deceit, non-compliance, lying?” asked Ben, who had just exhausted his list of things that were bad.

“Should I pack a gun or a bag full of money?” said Ben, trying to make light of the situation and settle Tina down.

“Ben, there is something else I need to tell you.”

“What is it, Tina? You can tell me anything,” said Ben in full counsellor mode.

“Well …."

[ A/n: Australian slang: ‘Wacka’ - Idiot, fool;* ‘Gobsmacked’ - surprised, astounded. *** Australian slang that means the same as ‘how much do I have to take’, an expression of frustration.  It is ironic because koalas are actually not bears, contrary to popular belief.]

Next Episode –  “Well Butter Me Both Sides, What Do I Do Now?”

Till next time,

Calvin