Ben’s Moment of Truth Arrives

In the last episode, Ben was having a hard time with the auditors. They had zoomed in on the ‘discretionary account - 60743' and noted some unusual expenses. His love-hate relationship with Penny Promo goes on, but it gets worse. Ben continues to get tangled in his own wicked compliance web. Read on …..

******

Ben had worked himself up into such a lather over this audit; they were making him feel like a kangaroo loose in the top paddock!**

He was sure he was going to lose his job, get sent to jail, and they would throw away the key; not necessarily in that order. He couldn't forgive himself for being so stupid. Getting caught in the scam that was Mr T and Glenny Bakersun's life, big mistake.

He should have stayed at Fartbender instead of coming to Laxo Smut Klump. His main reason for doing so was to get closer to Tina, and she had gone AWOL.

Then he had a brilliant idea! He would ask Lizzie, the auditor, if she knew where Tina had gone. Surely if anyone would know, she would. Being an auditor, she would certainly want to do the right thing and tell him, wouldn’t she?

Ben got up from his desk with new energy and headed for the coffee machine. He needed to be alert for his 10:00 am meeting with the auditors, who were back in the office. As he turned the corner - whack!

He walked straight into Penny Promo, who unfortunately had a cup of coffee. Yep! You guessed it - for the third time in his life, he had been the cause of a coffee mishap.

“You dumb idiot," yelled Penny. “Look at my dress now; you’ve spilled it all down my front. You did that on purpose. I'm going to HR.”

Ben thought the ‘coffee abstract’ he had created all down the front of Penny’s dress was actually an improvement. He rushed to get some paper towels. He was ready to start drying it when Calvernicus, the godfather of compliance, whispered in his ear. “Not a good move, Benny. Remember your harassment training?”

He had a point. Ben was in enough trouble with Penny, and right at this moment, he did not need any more. Instead, he handed her the towels, said, “Have a nice day, uhhh, sorry,” and ran away.

He raced off to the men's because he knew that Penny would not go there; he needed time to regroup. It was 9:30 a.m., and he only had half an hour before the auditors.

Standing in front of the urinal was Mr T. “Benny Baby,” he said, his usual arrogance shining through, “how’s my main man?”

Ben was still trying to believe his eyes; he could not believe what he was seeing. There was Mr T taking a whizz, brushing his teeth, and texting on the phone. He was trying to be careful not to disturb the balancing act that was unfolding before his eyes. Talk about multitasking!

He was relieved when he heard the urinal flush. Mr T turned around with a mouthful of toothpaste, but thankfully had put his phone away, so he could do up his zipper. Ben tried to focus straight ahead.

“Ben, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you about this audit thing that we’re going through."

“Yeah, I’ve got a meeting with them in 30 minutes to go over some expenses,” replied Ben.

“What?” said Mr T, turning around at such speed that Ben was hit by a spray of toothpaste that was meant for the sink.

Ben couldn't believe it. Last week, a bird pooped on him. This week, Mr T spat toothpaste on him with "fresh minty breath."

“Just you remember, we are in this together. You just keep your mouth shut! They will ask you all sorts of questions about how many doctors, who had what, you just say, "It was too long ago to remember," Got that Ben?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” was all that Ben could manage as he walked out. Not the reaction he expected. That guy was as cunning as a dunny rat!** At least that took my mind off Penny Promo, thought Ben.

****

10am in the audit room:

Joe Holyman, Doug Selfrighteous, and Lizzy Whao sat together at the table. They sorted documents into neat piles.

“Come in, Ben, sit down, I'll be with you in a moment,” said Joe without lifting his head.

Lizzy smiled at Ben, which immediately relaxed him, and he smiled back.

“Tell me about the policy on Gifts and Hospitality, Ben,” asked Doug.

“What would you like to know?” replied Ben.

“Have you been trained on it?”

“Yes, I did it in ComplianceWire,” replied Ben.

“So why don’t you tell me a little bit about it then?” inquired Doug, clearly not prepared to let it go.

“Well,” said Ben, breaking into a cold sweat because he could not remember anything about the policy. “I’ve got your back,” came a voice in his head.

"Thank you,” said Ben without realizing he had said it aloud.

“What?” snapped Doug.

“Nothing, just thanking you for the question,” Ben said, feeling proud that he had saved the moment.

“It’s a policy about gifts and hospitality. "You can’t treat doctors to fancy meals, give them gifts, or take them to clubs or other dubious spots,” Ben said, feeling proud to say ‘dubious spots.’

“Thank you,” said Doug.

"What?" said Ben, returning the smartarse comment.

"I was thanking you," replied Doug, looking slightly peeved.

“Do you keep up to date with your training, Ben?” asked Joe.

“Absolutely,” replied Ben, "I always do it on time.”

“Well, I am not sure about that, but we’ll come back to that,” said Doug, looking very concerned. "Look, Ben, we are going to be completely honest with you, and we would like you to do the same. There is a lot at stake here, and your answers are vital to how we move forward,” said Doug, now fully in charge.

Ben could feel his knees shaking, and he did not have a good feeling about where this was going. He was just about ready to do a Harold Holt.** He thought about Tina and Ernie. Tina was probably locked up in some jail in China, and Ernie was off the air, so to speak.

“What do you know about the Indian restaurant Roti Boti, Ben?” asked Doug.

And there it was, Ben’s ‘Moment of Truth'. He had heard Calvernicus ramble on about these but hadn’t given them much thought. He wished he had now. Calvernicus had said, “There will come a time when you will have to decide to do the right thing or not." This is a ‘moment of truth'.

He looked across at Lizzy; she smiled as if to say, "Come on, Ben, you can do it." Ben looked at Joe, poised on the edge of his seat as if the fate of the world was about to unfold. He decided not to look at Doug because he didn’t like him much, and he would lose his nerve.

To be continued …..

[A/n: *** kangaroo loose in the top paddock: Aussie slang for intellectually inadequate; ** cunning as a dunny rat: pretty cunning; “Do a Harold Holt”: Australian slang for a quick disappearance based on the mysterious death of Holt when he was diving.]

Next Episode: Episode 15 -The truth comes out; do you want a trumpet or a whistle?

Till next time,

Calvin