Ben Boa (Episode 2): Ben’s Big Date

The start of the story: Episode 1 can be read here:

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"So, Benny boy,” asks Ernie, “Did you score a date with the nice lady you poured your coffee all over last week?”

"Well, Ernie, a few things. First, I didn’t throw my coffee on her. That was all your quality’s fault—something about sticky brakes, blah blah blah!" Secondly, I did get a date, and thirdly, you owe me ten bucks!”

“Well, well, Ben, the world is looking up!” replied Ernie, dragging a ten-dollar note out of his wallet. “Come on then, details, what’s her name, where is she from, what does she do?” Ernie fired off.

“Well, I may need your help there a little, Ernie. Her name is Tina, Tina Goodytwoshoes and she... she."

“She what?” interjects Ernie.

"She's gorgeous, and I am in love. But, she works in Quality and Compliance at a drug company called Laxo Smut Klump. I have a date with her this Friday. That’s when I’ll give her the money for the dry cleaning. She’s not on this train, is she?” adds Ben nervously.

"Relax," Ernie chuckled with a big smile. "You're going out with someone in Quality. Now that’s funny! You and Miss Goodytwoshoes from Quality, I wish I were a fly on the wall at that one."

“So here’s the deal, Ernie. Once you’ve stopped laughing, I need a quick lesson on Quality. Also, toss in some compliance since she handles that too.”

Ernie grabs his ten bucks back from Ben, “That’s going to cost you, Benny Boy; I am practising for when I am a consultant!"

"Sure, Ernie. Just give me some lines that show I know about Quality and Compliance." You know, just like a sales pitch; it’s not like I want to understand it or anything. I just want to sell it to her so she will like me.”

“Benny, Benny, Benny,” says Ernie behind a big smile, “You are not off to a good start. You want to use quality and compliance statements as a sales pitch for someone in that field. Are you crazy?"

“Just give me two lines I can use, that’s got to be worth ten bucks, my old mate!” pleaded Ben. “Don’t you know my old mate me, you’re a con man. Fancy using a quality line as a pick-up for a girl? I can’t wait to hear how this goes.”

"Yeah, but I am good at it, and I will get away with it. Now come on, cough up the goods."

Ernie ponders for a while.

“Come on, Ernie,” says Ben impatiently, “It’s nearly my stop, and it's Thursday; talk about just in time; you accountants!"

“Now, now,” says Ernie, "I've got the goods that you need, so you'd better be nice to me, mate! “Quality is a way of life!” says Ernie with a very serious expression.

"Love it," says Ben, “Love it, and compliance?"

“Compliance is what you do when no one is looking; it’s not always about making money,” replied Ernie.

“I owe you big time,” says Ben as the train pulls up to his station. “No idea what you’re talking about, but it sounds really good. She’ll love it. For a dumb- arse accountant, you are pretty smart!" Ben quipped with a smile.

I can’t wait to hear just how much she loves it, thinks Ernie, smiling. He really does not get it at all. Ernie started to think about what he had just said to Ben. It sounded good, but did he really get it?

His head throbbed after a long day of crunching numbers. He began to picture Benny fumbling through a dinner with Miss Goodytwoshoes.

How will Ben’s date go? ……… (Next time: Episode 3 - "What a quality dinner”)

Till next time,

Calvin