A Chinese Cookie to Some Just a Bad Biscuit to Others

In the last episode, Ben tricked the deadly trio. They believe the tablets they gave him have put him to sleep. He needs to hurry to find Tina and solve the ‘China Affair.’ All he has is a small Teddy, a strange notebook, and two envelopes of cash. Plus, he has strong auditing and investigation skills. Oh boy! Now he really is in trouble.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Ben’s boss is starting to get a little nervous as heat comes down from above. Talk about ‘Tone from the Top’.

Read on … His challenges have only just begun.

******

[Back at the ranch…]

Doug picked up the phone. "Selfrighteous," he snapped, feeling the pain of the meeting he had just had with the CEO.

“Doug, my flend,” said Mr Li Wan Fuckno, “you don’t slound happy.”

“Why on earth would I be happy; you silly little prat.  I’m in more trouble than a squirrel up a drain pipe because of the things you have screwed up and you ask me if I am happy!”

“Oh, Mr Doug, you bletter be nice to me, you in a lot of tluble.  Check the hotline!”  and he hung up.

Doug was just about ready to throw the phone through the window when he heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” he yelled.

In walked the company's legal counsel, Mr. Reginald Luxam III.

“Good day, Regie,” Doug said. He enjoyed teasing Reginald, who disliked being called anything but Reginald. 

Reginald blushed red, but did not take the bait. “Sit down, Doug; we have a serious problem."

Doug sat down, feeling the end was near. Reginald wore no smile, and he looked stressed. It is never good when a lawyer is stressed. “Listen to this,” said Reginald as he switched on his phone.

“Hel-lo.  I am calling you from China -affl-i-lli-ate,” said a very calculated voice.  “You pick on –the China people for bribing, not nice.  Problem -not with China. Loo- k—at your own people.  Head -of- Compl-iance for example.  He very tlicky and try- to frame China people.  You do some—thing or -I go to China police and then no secret anymore.  Forty eight hours.”   The call ended.

[Back in China…] 

Ben thumbed through the little book as he waited for his laptop to fire up. He looked across at the little Teddy. If only you could talk, he thought. He was starting to get excited. He could feel something was going to happen. More pensive than ‘a redback spider on the toilet seat’ waiting for a target to sit down, his computer finally beamed that familiar Lenovo icon. 'Finally,' he thought, 'I could have had a three-course meal,' he thought to himself.

“Hey Calvernicus, are you still alive? Where are you?”

“You know I could really use some help here. You’re supposed to be the guru of all things compliance, but you’re always here when I don’t need you and never when I do.”

“Flattery will get you everything. One piece of advice for you: think like Tina to find the code.”

“That’s it,” said Ben. “That’s your great contribution – think like a woman!”

“Try it, Ben. I got to go; London is calling,” and he was gone.

"‘Think like a woman, think like Tina – my brain isn’t that big,’ Ben joked while entering his password and plugging in the jump stick." He went back to his little book. 'Makeup, shoes, shopping, Louis Vuitton, Chanel, hairdresser, diamonds.' He was done. He couldn’t do this; it was too difficult!

He flipped through the pages, trying to understand the words and numbers. They seemed to have no clear meaning.

Think like Tina, he mocked again. Then on page 49, something was different. A number puzzle with five lines across and five lines down. One line was missing. The instructions were to fill the lines with numbers to add up to 103. Very odd, he thought. Tina must have created this. At the bottom were two sentences.

If A = 4 then F = 10.

Y must be 29, and my birthday is fine. Each line is 79 but moves on one step at a time

Ben got a headache just reading it. What does it mean?

‘London to a brick’* he knew he was getting close; he could feel it.

[Back at the Ranch…]

“It's clear it’s been taped. The pronunciation is deliberate and emphasised,” Doug said confidently.

“You don’t say!” said Reginald. “You compliance guys are so on the ball—it's amazing!”

“Well,” he was going to snap back with some comment about lawyers, but Reggie’s look said: not a good move.

“Look, Doug, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. The Board has asked for your resignation.”

"What? What, the Board wants to make a sacrificial lamb of me, the Compliance guy? You’re crazy,” replied Doug.

“Pack your bags, Doug. I'm sorry, but the party is over.”

[Back in China…] 

Ben felt as ‘cunning as a dunny rat.'** Try as he might, he could not make sense of any of it. He was just about to give up when he saw the number 52 circled at the bottom of the page and came up with five numbers.

Tina's birthday was on the fifth of February. He counted the pages of the diary to page 52. There on the page were five numbers: 24, 9, 9, 8 and 29. He cross-matched them with his ‘new alphabet.' Bingo, he thought to himself. He spelled out the word.

‘T’, ……….

[A/N: ‘London to a brick’* – means certain or absolutely sure. ‘Cunning as a dunny rat’** Aussie slang, means you are very cunning.]

Next Episode: Episode 34 -“Used Soya Sauce, Anyone?”

Till next time,

Calvin