She Is Foxy

With some convincing by Mom here, my daughter gave me permission to enter her costume in for this contest. My daughter, Blessed, portrays Foxy Brown to the tee! Although her outfit is more of a rendition from the film Coffy, my child’s interpretation of Pam Grier is nothing short of stunning. She is a natural beauty with an absolutely gorgeous afro. She certainly does the 70’s justice with her depiction. While there is great likeness to Foxy, my daughter’s inspiration for her look did not initially come from Pam Grier or any of her movies. My daughter was looking for a costume where she could comfortably wear her natural hair. Upon recommendation of my oldest daughter, Blessed was thrilled to represent Grier’s Fro and be foxy.

This entry is about much more than a costume submission. It is about a young lady who has overcome anxiety and her issues with self-acceptance in a society where beauty standards are ridiculously set to levels which in my opinion are ideally attained by mainly supermodels, actors & actresses and celebrities. My daughter’s problems began in early adolescence at a time when fitting in was already difficult for a growing child but adding into the equation her mixed race, she often felt a sense of rejection. Blessed wasn’t a little girl anymore and she wanted to blend in with the other children. She hated her hair and this began a time of grueling treatment to her strands to get it straight. I cannot tell you how many relaxers we went through. They never quite got her hair long and flowy as she wanted. Flat ironing became the next process but over time all of the chemicals and heat damage burned this poor girl’s hair out. It was extremely difficult as a mother to watch her struggle throughout her teenage years just to have “acceptable” hair. She developed anxiety related concerns and it was very sad for me to see her so insecure.

After her high school graduation in 2016 Blessed asked me to shave her head bald. All of the damage accrued from over processing had taken its toll and she wanted to start fresh. I really didn’t want to get out those clippers but I knew that her hair had been badly beat up and it was time for a change. Reluctantly I sheared her head thinking it was going to be a complete disaster and that my child would hate it; I was absolutely 100% wrong! She was excited by her new look and I told her she looked just like Supermodel and actress Amber Rose with her high cheekbones and gorgeous smile. This was a momentous event which would begin a whole new process of evolution in her life.

In the 4 years since having her head shaved my daughter has slowly developed into the amazing young woman that she is today. Blessed did sport the bald look for a while and even grew it out just a bit to a super low, easy to manage style. Within this time frame I began to notice changes in her personality. She started laughing more. She became a little more social. She began showing all the traits of the Blessed I knew as a little girl. The self-confidence started to shine its light and I couldn’t be more proud. Over time my daughter decided that she wanted to grow her hair back out and the result is the striking mane of hair that you see today. Blessed has chosen to limit heat exposure to her hair. She no longer uses perms or flat irons. Instead she keeps a supply of wonderful African American hair products with the focus on natural ingredients which ensures that the proper amount of moisture is distributed throughout her locks. She has also adapted her skin care routine and has acquired a lot of knowledge along the way about a natural approach to beauty. Today she glows but the work all actually came from within.

It was important for my daughter to portray Foxy to remind people about individuality. Blessed is a young woman who is now confident in her African American, Caucasian and Native American descent. Shaving her head helped her get to the root of the problem quite literally. The layers were peeled back to expose her to her raw emotions which was important. She was able to embrace her innermost fears and meet those dead on. Gradually as her hair regrew it was became symbolic of a whole new period of development for her. She now lives her life in confidence instead of riddled by anxiety and insecurity. She embraces herself as is and with this story sends the message: Live your life and live it naturally!