My Natural Hair Journey

Relaxing At 5 Years Old

When I 5 years old everyone in the family began calling me broccoli because my hair looked like a broccoli crown. It was thick and bushy. Right after I got the chicken pox my mom had my grandmother relax my hair. My hair went from kinky to straight after half an hour. Then at last my mother could put it into a ponytail. My mom didn’t know how to do my hair at all. Any twists, curls and braids that were done were done at Kays salon, my aunts or grandmothers. Natural is trending now but it was frowned upon back then. Even if it was in my mother was always on the go rushing. Natural is very time consuming and I just don’t think she could have kept it up. Combing through my hair and styling it every morning before school was too much. Now that I am natural I am beginning to understand why she relaxed my hair.

Product and Style Struggle

I have been on a natural journey since 2014. I stopped relaxing my hair and cut the relaxed ends off. You could say I gave myself a bob. It was so easy in the beginning but the more natural I became the tougher it became to do my hair. I have gone through many products and still cannot find one that hydrates my curls and defines reducing frizz. I also have trouble with matting when I sleep in the back and dryness from excessive water use. If it’s not wet I can’t brush it or style it curly. I always run out of my conditioner before my shampoo because my hair is so thick. The back of my curls are tighter than the front of my curls so they shrivel up. Don’t even get me started about the “protective styles that are not so protective.” Like the bantu knots that tangle my hair and box braids that yank out nearly all of my edges. Braids that suffocate your scalp and collect dirt and debris blocking your hair follicles from receiving oxygen. Natural life is a struggle.

Maintaining Straightness and Corporate World

Nowadays, anytime I go out I flat iron my hair but it's just a waste. The second I go outside the humidity turns my hair into a frizz ball. Any form of wetness turns my hair back to its natural state. No amount of hairspray will stops this. This is one of the most annoying things because I work an average job Monday through Friday where I already have the odds of being black against me now we have to add a woman and then just add one with an afro. That won’t cut it in moving up within corporate world. You have to diminish your passion because they take it as aggressive and anger. You have to be even more appropriate than the rest because they are always looking for ways to get rid or a “sista,” in my experience. Most of all you definitely must have what they have expressed numerous times to me as a clean look. What was on the list that they considered “unclean” were; dreadlocks, braids and afros right there along with ripped clothes, skirts above the knee and pants below the waist. I am surprised they didn't tell me I can't have acrylic nails or red polish.

The Damage of Heat and Cost to Be Straight

Recently I went to the hairdresser to have my ends trimmed and to get a keratin treatment. My hair dresser said that I have something called, “flyaways.” She said it was from pulling my hair too tightly back and the hair ties breaking off strands splitting them at the center of my head. Now anytime I try to wear my hair down in the center of my head little hairs stick up about an inch tall. I love my curls but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I spend 80% of my week straightening it for work. I don’t want to but my head becomes a petting zoo or I get those “looks.” I began straightening my hair for work in 2014 and ever since the damage just gets worse and worse. Many have told me to just braid my hair and wear a lace front which I guess will ultimately be my solution. The only conflict is I am tended headed and braids hurt and I tried a sew in and a wig but my head just itches nonstop throughout the day. I think it is despicable for any employer to tell someone how to do their hair. For one, dreads are worn by true Rastas. Rastafarianism is a movement and religion. Are you not going to hire someone because they have dreads truly? For two, afros are typically on African-American people and the human hair lace front’s that cost nearly $700 to purchase and $200 to install is a total month’s rent. If these companies are not willing to allow their African American employees to use a company credit card charged by the company to pay for these salon styles they prefer when they need it. They have no say in how someone wears their hair.

Natural Vs. Relaxed

The thing you have to understand is that my natural hair is not like your natural hair or someone else's natural hair we're all different. What works for her might not work for me what works for me might not work for her. One thing I will say is that between having relaxed hair and being natural I experienced much more breakage being natural. However, being natural my hair has been the longest that it's ever been my entire life. When my hair was relaxed it never grew this long. When my hair was relaxed I didn’t really pay mind to it at the beach or in the pool because it was always straight. Now it seems I look like a troll doll if I don’t nourish my hair immediately after a day in the ocean or pool. If you are looking to go natural I would first ask yourself can you afford it? Do you have that extra thirty minutes to get ready daily? Do you know how to care for your hair without damaging it? Are you prepared for the edge naps? If I am being honest I definitely wish someone would have asked me these questions off the bat because I would’ve continued relaxing my hair.