“Take your messed up face somewhere else!” this stranger yelled before they slammed their door on me. This is actually the harshest experience I’ve ever had that I can remember involving my port wine stain birthmark on my cheek. Not so bad, right? I think the reason I was particularly sensitive in this instance was because I was canvassing for a non profit I really put my heart into for over a year. So there were other completely non related reasons I was hurt over this person’s reaction anyways. You could say the reasons this instance affected me had nothing to do with anything only skin deep.
Even in middle school at the height of my experience with being bullied, having a unique, little splash of color on my face was never my primary concern on the list of anxieties. Sure I heard some of the gossip and trash talk about it, but I sensed from a young age that some people were just a bit jealous that I had a weird unique thing. What makes you different really does make you beautiful, and that’s why I’ve never wanted to remove it. Especially when its given my romantic partners over the years an opportunity to be extra adorable by pecking a kiss there. I’ve mostly felt totally appreciated all my life for having this birthmark and not letting it make me insecure. It’s not any kind of health concern, it’s literally just random pigmentation. So cool beans.
Working in off-broadway theatres and on the set of a Hollywood film as an extra wasn’t an issue; tattoo makeup! I like having the ability to cover it up. Sometimes completely, usually just slightly, for most jobs. Just so I blend in a bit. I feel like it goes hand in hand with being in uniform in the hospitality industry. (so does a red wine spill! Oh well see I was in the cellar one night...) And I prefer not to cover it at all any time when I’m not working.
Fellow spiritual folks have a lot of ideas of what it could mean regarding my past lives. I’ve never found anything that really resonates with me... yet. People also have a lot of ideas of what the shape looks like. My favorites include but are not limited to; a lady in a dress opening a window, a whale, a heart and arrow disconnected, and a pheonix bird.
The coolest experience I’ve ever had with this birthmark was meeting one of my soul sisters, Marcy. She is the kindest most empathetic hero and volunteer coordinator for the lgbtq group in Staten Island, NY. She has a very similar birthmark also on her face. We had this whole instant epic connection, and we met because I was dropping off a poster at the community center with my best friend after protesting at the st Patrick’s parade.
It was like we had known each other forever.
Now with the masks some days it makes me feel a lot more normal and some days it makes me feel like I’m hiding.
Shel Silverstein wrote,
“She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by-
And never knew.”
Ok so about the tattoo!!!
I love to draw and paint. I came up with the paintbrush stem and pink rose idea for my tatt. I brought this messy drawing to the incredible Seven at Ink Couture, and he created this badass realistic beauty from it. I’m super grateful for the matched pink colors, the thorns, everything he added to this to make it something awesome.
This tattoo is my reminder to myself as well as my subliminal message to others, that we are all individual creations and creators. We all have things that make us unique. Mother Earth made you this way for some reason so embrace it. Allow it to blossom into confidence.
Also, shoutout to Mom for telling me that it’s a kiss from God when I was like five years old. Definitely not what the Bible says, so way to be more open minded and sweet about it! And my mother was born on the day of the Roswell sighting, so I’m pretty sure I’m an alien. But I’m a sexy alien so it’s all good. Shine on.