How I Learnt to Love the Curly Fries on My Head

Let's get right into it, shall we? I am a 22-year-old Indian woman who has put her hair through heaven and hell.

You see, in my country, we follow some basic haircare routines, regardless of what hair type we have. Straight, curly, short, long, it doesn't matter. If you're a brown woman, I am 90 percent sure your grandma used to oil your hair regularly and comb it every day.

As a little girl with unruly, tangled hair, I did not understand why my hair looked so coarse and unflattering while my mother, aunt, and grandma had silky straight hair. Nobody told me I had curly hair and that it takes a different kind of routine to bring out its beauty.

Hell, I didn't know it even had beauty. My brother used to call me Tarzan because of my messy mane. My friends used to be excited for wash day, while I dreaded it. I knew I wasn't going to have shiny ponytails or dazzling hair flips. No. I would have an obscene amount of oil to control the frizzy horror on my head. My hair was considered such a wild "disgrace" that everyone thought it was better to tie it up neatly. Kind of like taming dragons.

And then I got on Facebook. Hoo, boy! All the frizz-control products, all the straightening treatments. I felt like Rapunzel from Tangled(The irony, eh?) singing "Now I see the light.."

Perky models displayed my ultimate hair goals in the "Before" section of the ad. "Is your hair also dull, lifeless, and frizzy?" they would ask while flaunting their perfectly lovely hair. Hair that I yearned to have all my life. "Try this miracle product loaded with stuff that shouldn't be anywhere near your body!" and voila, we see flawlessly flat-ironed hair as the "After" version.

I started buying frizz-control serums online. My first was Livon's 'Serum for Rough and Dry Hair' I didn't understand why my hair wasn't transforming into something at least a little prettier. I then moved on to L'Oreal Paris's 'Smooth Intense Instant Sustainable Hair Serum'. No big change. Finally, I bought Matrix Biolage's 'Smoothing Serum'.

It did not work wonders, but it was much better than the other serums. I used liberal amounts of this liquid to control my hair just by 20 to 30 percent.

By the time I was 17, I had had enough. I had enough of commercials telling me there was only one kind of stunning hair. I was tired of crying from the pain of having to detangle my hair for an hour after a hair wash, difficult even with loads of oil.

One day, while scrolling through Facebook, I saw an ad for hair straightening. Well, duh! I had only scoured the internet for years, "researching" hair-straightening treatments. I called, set up an appointment, and went to the salon with high hopes.

"Straightening is too harsh," said the stylist. "We've got a healthier treatment called 'Moroccan Smoothening', which costs 9000 rupees." Now, 9000 rupees may only be 124 dollars, but it is a huge deal here. I went for it. I got my hair chemically and permanently smoothened.

It took a while to get used to my new hair, but ooh, how I liked it! I was a different girl. This girl was hot, fabulous, and confident. This girl could flip her hair and not be worried about tangling it for days. Combing? Ha! I did, but it wasn't necessary. My hair was smooth, silky, and all those things I wished for.

And then came the side-effects of chemical "beauty". My hair started falling out. A lot. I lost close to half the amount of hair I had before the treatment. After the initial shock and panic, I found a medicinal hair-spray called 'Hair4U', or rather, it found me. I Googled it once and then got hit by a ton of well-meaning "suggestions."

After asking a professional if I could use Hair4U, I went ahead. It controlled my hair fall remarkably well and my bald spots were starting to look better. But my hair did not regain its thickness, and to quote the words of a friend, it looked "like a broomstick".

I repeatedly turned to social media for comfort. I would spend hours studying pictures of supermodels and stars to see if any of them had hair as thin as mine. If these gorgeous women could look so fantastic with thin hair, I could too, right?

My natural hair began growing back at an alarming rate. Alarming only because I now looked horrendous(I thought) with a frizzy top and straight ends. I ran to the salon again to get it straightened after a year, for the same amount of 9000 rupees. I suppose it was not such a "permanent" treatment after all.

I frantically looked online for ways to stop my hair from falling even more. It was weak, limp, and damaged. Desperate to rejuvenate it, I bought hair vitamins and rosemary lavender oil. My condition improved just a little, but I was still having tremendous hair loss every single day.

Now, this oil is one product out of all of these that I am thankful to have seen on Instagram. The price is a bit on the higher side, but my, oh my! Mirakki Hair Care's Sweet Neem Oil was like paradise in a bottle. I massaged it onto my scalp as instructed and left it overnight. After the first wash, my hair was significantly stronger and softer. This is not an affiliate link or a paid endorsement. Just the grateful gushing of a girl whose hair was rescued.

My hair was getting a bit better, but it was not even close to being fine. I had super-frizzy terrors at my roots and straight, damaged tips. People kept asking me if I wasn't going to straighten it again. They had all seen the Instagram dream hair I had initially. They thought it would be better if I simply returned to that look because clearly, the transition to my natural hair was a disaster.

And then, something amazing happened. I left my hair alone. I stopped torturing it. It was an awkward phase to get through, but I simply stopped caring. I let my hair breathe. I ditched my straighteners, blowdryers, and smoothening touch-ups. My hair looked quite ridiculous for a while there, but I simply couldn't care less.

This is my hair today, roughly 5 years after the first straightening treatment.

I re-discovered my natural curl pattern, and I am in love with my fierce little Medusa-like strands.

Sometimes, an online purchase is just that. A simple purchase, because you liked something and wanted it. But, in my case, and in a lot of others, it is much more. It is the advertisement of a persona. Dangling before me, a different look that is the stark opposite of who I am. And I fell for it. I let myself be hypnotized by this unreachable Insta-perfect idea of attractiveness.

I wanted straight hair, not just because it is easier to maintain. I wanted it more because I saw my own hair as the others in my life did, as popular media told me it was- a mess. A mess that needed to be fixed.

And I rushed to fix it. I "fixed" it at the cost of losing myself in an unhealthy trap. I am an avid swimmer who also enjoys running. But, I couldn't swim because the chlorine would reverse the smoothening, and I couldn't run because the sweat would require washing, and washing would lead to hair loss.

There I was, a girl who couldn't do the things she liked because she was too scared to sweat.

Today, I don't give a flying flip. I dance, leap, run, swim, and have more fun than I ever did with my pin-straight hair. Today, my hair is wild and feisty. But, so am I.

So, what did I do to get this hair back? I went back to my real roots. My grandma's practices. Only this time, a little more gently, because I knew better. I began using pure coconut oil to massage my scalp. The Mirakki oil was excellent, but I find it unnecessary right now, because this cheaper, more easily available coconut oil is working well for my hair.

This does not mean I am dissing all internet shopping sprees. We can't find the products that truly work for us without experimenting a little. To maintain my hair as it is, I switched to a new shampoo and conditioner- The Marc Anthony Nourishing Argan Oil of Morocco set. The serums I use currently are OGX Renewing Argan Oil of Morocco Dry Oil and Marc Anthony's Nourishing Agran Oil of Morocco exotic oil.

Yeah, can you tell I'm a little obsessed with the argan oil of Morocco? Just a little bit.

Social media was where my insecurities deepened, but it is also where I found something else. It is this incredible place that has shown me millions of curly-haired women who are absolutely killing it. Instagram has opened up my horizons and is helping me find the best ways to maintain and nourish my curls.

I am currently starting the famous 'Curly Girl' method, and will soon be taking even better care of my curls, buying them all the products they need to flourish. I've already noticed the targeted ads conveniently pop up minutes after I Google something related. But this time, I might listen with an excited, gleeful heart.

This time, I will be adding quite a few products to my cart. But what I won't add again is anything designed to tell me I am not beautiful just the way I am.