Holy Hairy That’s Just Scary

“Hair, hair, just give me a head of hair,” as the anthem from the age-old musical Hair rang out.  It is the theme song for every bald man.

Like many people who are getting on in years, I ponder the facts of life. Not the unimportant stuff (😁😁), like whether there will be a nuclear war, whether Donald Trump is a lunatic, or if he’s possessed. Important things like:

Why do we (not just men but also women) start to lose our hair?  

How can bald men grow beards, and why do you start to grow hair in all these weird places as you get older?

So, I started researching to find answers to my daily contemplations.  After all, what good are questions without answers?

Let’s start at the very beginning, always a good place to start. 

We have several million hairs on our bodies. Between 80,000 and 150,000 of them are on the head alone —these are known as scalp hairs." Hair colour also affects the number of strands. Blondes have more hair (approx. 150,000) than people with red hair (approx. 90,000).  Brown and black hair are between, with 110,000 and 100,000, respectively.

A single hair can hold up to 100 grams before it breaks. Given the number of hairs on our bodies, we could carry the equivalent of about two elephants, but don’t try that at home! 

The longest head hair was recorded on a Chinese woman.  It measured an incredible 5.6 meters (over 18 feet). The longest chest hair was recorded in 2019.  A man from Imperia, Italy measured 28.20 cm (11.10 in).  How about that, ladies?

Not impressed? The longest pubic hair belonged to a South African. It measured 71 centimeters, or 28 inches. But that’s all I’ll say about it.

Hair is the fastest-growing tissue in the body, after bone marrow. It typically regrows within a week or two. This rapid regrowth helps explain the billion-dollar hair-removal industry.

O.K., so hair is pretty incredible stuff.  Why then do we lose hair and go bald?

Scalp hair stays in the growth phase for 2–6 years.  Body hair has a shorter lifespan and only stays in the active growth phase for about 30–45 days.  As we get older, hair growth slows down.  Hair also changes colour, in case you haven’t noticed.  I started to go grey in my early 60s.  While I am not bald, I am getting what I affectionately call a “sunroof”. 

In women, hair loss has similar causes: hereditary factors and hormonal changes.

I now need a grooming routine to look presentable, something I never had to do ten years ago.

We are told that if we didn’t have nose hair, we would get sick from all sorts of things.  Nose hair and ear hair filter out allergens.  Eyebrows prevent sweat and oils from running into your eyes.

All good, but why, as you get older, do these hairs get thicker and longer? Are you more susceptible to allergens as you get older?

Apparently, as you age and your metabolism slows down, it affects how your hair grows and sheds. Hairs that usually fall out may stay in place longer. This can make your eyebrows look bushier or coarser over time.

On the plus side, they may get thicker. But think about how you would look without any eyebrows.

Go and have a look in the mirror.  Now, that is scary.

[A/n: This is the first story I have written for the Blush community.  It is part of a quest to write at least one story for each of the Vocal communities. Thirty-nine down, nine to go.]

Till next time,

Calvin