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Do you know what gray rape is?

I didn't even realize it was rape.

By GonzagaPublished about a year ago 6 min read
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Do you know what gray rape is?
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Do you know what gray rape is?

01. "I didn't even realize it was rape"

Si entered a financial company internship after graduating from college, the department manager Guo took good care of her, and Si Si was very grateful.

One night after working overtime, Mr. Guo invited Si Si to have a snack, Si Si was too embarrassed to refuse.

Eyewitness: I didn't even realize it was rape

However, during snack time, Mr. Guo made a move on Si Si, making her uncomfortable. Si moved her body outward and asked, "Mr. Guo, what exactly do you want to talk to me about?"

"Of course, it's about your work, there are many people here, let's talk somewhere else"

Si thought to himself, so it was a misunderstanding, and had to follow him for the sake of mercy.

After arriving at the place, Si Si realized that it was a quick hotel, and immediately began to suspect. Seeing Si Si's tightly frowning look, Guo said, "Some are company secrets that can't be known by others, don't worry I won't do anything."

Si still wanted to leave but was afraid of offending Mr. Guo, worried that he was "wearing small shoes" in the company ...... thinking that usually, he seems very upright, and respected, and should not do something out of the ordinary.

The company's main business is to provide a wide range of products and services to the public.

"I know you are interested in me, listen well, the transfer and promotion and salary are not a problem."

Si struggled to resist but to no avail. I want to cry out for help but I'm afraid to anger this man, and the hotel is isolated, and then he will kill himself what to do?

Afterward, Si Si cried and said she wanted to call the police, while Mr. Guo said with a calm face that he had a lot of contacts in the company, and as long as Si Si was good and obedient, he would treat her well in the future.

Si is completely dumbfounded, yes, he is so tactful, in case the police's reputation is also ruined, the job is also gone ...... Before leaving, Mr. Guo transferred a sum of money to Si Si, indicating that it is compensation for Si Si.

Eventually, Si Si did not call the police but never went to work again. The matter was settled, but it became a lingering shadow in her heart. For this reason, Si Si is severely depressed, and at first, she did not even realize that it was rape.

The definition of rape in China refers to the act of forcing a woman to have sexual relations against her will by using coercive means to suppress her, causing her to be unable to resist, afraid to resist, or unable to resist.

Gray rape, on the other hand, refers to non-violent, non-consensual sexual advances, sexual harassment, and sexual contact. What happens feels like rape and not rape, is involuntary but also ambiguous, often occurs between acquaintances, relatives, or even classmates, and is often accompanied by coercion.

For some reason, you don't explicitly refuse, but it is taken by the other person as acquiescence.

Many people are not aware of sexual harassment when it happens.

According to three surveys conducted by the Institute of Sociology of Sexuality at the Renmin University of China, the majority of people do not consider verbal harassment and forced entanglement to be sexual harassment, and are more sensitive to "physical contact". Verbal harassment is one of the most common types of sexual harassment.

So what is considered sexual harassment when you do it? Although there are different definitions and expressions from all walks of life, the same point is: using dirty language to tease the victim, intentionally touching and bumping sensitive parts of the opposite sex's body, and setting up an environment that makes people feel sexual harassment are all considered sexual harassment.

More serious than sexual harassment is sexual assault, which is forcing someone to have sex.

A study published in the journal Clinical Psychology Review found that sexual harassment increases the chances of depression, anxiety, and even suicidal tendencies in victims, and may also cause post-traumatic stress disorder, drug addiction, and other psychological or psychiatric disorders.

02, workplace, and school has become the most affected area of sexual harassment

A large recruitment website has done a survey on sexual harassment in the workplace, the results of which 40% of women said they had been sexually harassed in the office. A survey of 15 colleges and universities by the Women's Federation found that more than 57% of college students had experienced sexual harassment.

Why is there a higher frequency of sexual harassment in the workplace? The reasons for this are, first, related to the lack of power parity between individuals. Second, it is difficult to obtain evidence.

Because of the hidden location and long period, if you do not report to the police in time, it is difficult to identify, collect and prove the evidence afterward. The lack of power parity between individuals means that victims may be threatened with reputation, retaliation, and promotion.

In addition, sexual harassment between the same sex, the victim is male sexual harassment, easy to be ignored.

03. Protect yourself and say no bravely

After encountering sexual harassment, there are many voices around the victim, and the most common one is the "victim guilt theory".

"No sense of protection", "flies do not bite seamless eggs", "sexual harassment is not a crime, but the quality of individuals is relatively low." ......

Ask, if women are sexually harassed, someone around to stand up to the perpetrators together, and the victims will be silent.

The fact is that the victim is isolated and even pushed into the position of the "culprit" so that the "voice" has become "silent".

On the other hand, the current laws on sexual harassment in China have not been perfected, and the penalties are not strong enough to allow some people to act with impunity. Will it be different if the punishment is increased?

04、When encountering sexual harassment, how should we protect ourselves?

If you encounter it on the bus or subway, you must dare to resist and stop the pervert with words or actions. If there are more people around, you can scream and shout to attract the attention of onlookers.

If you encounter an exhibitionist in a street or alley, don't panic, ignore and walk away, or call the police to deal with it. The more excited you are, the more excited the exhibitionist will be and the more likely he will make dangerous behavior.

If you encounter sexual harassment in the workplace, don't hold your breath, be determined not to give in, don't be afraid to make a big deal out of it, collect good evidence and call the police promptly.

In law, the victim's consent is crucial in determining whether or not it constitutes rape. But in reality, whether the victim consents or not is confused by saying "we were drunk" or "she didn't say no".

Let's be clear: there is no blurring of the lines when it comes to consent! According to UN Women: consent comes from positive affirmation, consent must be given without pressure, consent is based on facts, underage consent is neither free nor sufficient, consent allows for change, and consent can be withdrawn ......

Both men and women, when they encounter aggression, it is good to protect ourselves first, and then be brave enough to fight back. And when we are not the victim, please stop imagining and stand up for the "silent victim".

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Gonzaga

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  • News Erenaabout a year ago

    we r living in 21st century but poor mentality is still alive

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