Y'all, DMX is gone, forever...

Profound sadness swept over me when I heard the news that DMX died.

For the sake of context, DMX, born Earl Simmons was a legend, not just in the culture, but iconic at large. When the beat dropped, everyone who has been alive for the last few decades could add the lyrics, "Y'all gone make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. Y'all gone make me act a fool, up in here, up in here. Y'all gone make me go all out, up in here, up in here. Y'all gone make me lose my cool, up in here, up in here."

The wave of emotion flooded over me, back and forth, until I feel inundated by a sea of sadness. Now, growing up, I was a church girl. Truly. I loved Jesus and I listened to gospel music. DMX was not in my album collection and his music didn't play on my radio station. I was not a fan.

To add insult to injury, I was not a fan of the lifestyle. You know, the drugs, the parties, the alcohol, the women, the wantonness. That all went against everything I believed and held dear. But, over the past few days of his hospitalization, I was introduced to another side of DMX. I saw clips of a man that was much more complex with dimensions that I knew nothing of.

It is easy to look on the surface and say, "He did this to himself." To even pass judgment, "What was his heart supposed to do, after years of abuse?" It makes things easier to process when we have a cause attached to the effect. But, let me tell you, it's not that black and white.

I heard the man pray. His personal conversations with God, unscripted and impromptu, sounded as if they should have been lyrics to a hit song. It only magnified the extent of his giftedness. That alone made my emotions more intense. How could this degree of giftedness be marred with an equal degree of pain?

The deep gravel of his voice, the fierce penetrating look on his face, and the way his eyes looked straight through the BS. All these things will be missed. Any other artist who follows in his footsteps will only at best be rated and compared to the original. "He reminds me of a young DMX." Or, "He kinda sounds a little bit like DMX." Never will we hear the power of words brought to life by the infusion of his voice. That's a lot to think about.

DMX reminded me of that cousin you saw once a year at the family reunion. You know the one who walks through the front door and all the aunties hug and smile. The one everybody pats on the back as he's quickly walking through the throng on his way out to the back yard to get away from peering eyes. The cousin who has nervous energy and can't sit or stand still for longer than a minute. The one who takes the plate that's been fixed, but only a few bites to show, "Yeah, I'm eating, Auntie".

The cousin you're glad to see because you thought the last time you saw him was gonna be the last time you saw him.

I hope you can relate to this cousin. What am I thinking? Everyone can make some connection because the opioid crisis has impacted every part of life that we all know and love. It has either crept into your community, city, town or area, quietly. Or, it was an inundating force that took everything you knew hostage. We all know someone, distant or close, family or friend, acquaintance or compadre, rich or poor, black or white, who has felt the effects of opioids.

Most of us are afforded the luxury of a private battle. It's a luxury y'all and a blessing when your pain and struggle can be kept quiet. You are fortunate when your wrong has not been the topic of worldwide conversation and your business is not on front street. So, while I didn't personally know DMX, nor was I into his music, his death and life made me sit up and take a good long look inward.

Even, though I was very sad upon hearing the news, a still small voice spoke inside me. It was very quiet, not a decibel over a whisper when it spoke, saying, "You have so much to be thankful for". Yes, I do.

Every day that I open my eyes I have to rehearse within myself the good things that exist around me. Life itself is a gift not to be squandered. And, maybe with the life I have, I can bring some joy into my corner of the world. I don't have the reach of DMX, so I'll start with the circle that's already around me and we'll go on from there.

DMX is gone forever, y'all...