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“What you crave could soon be yours."

By Myles NiymaPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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I want to take a moment to thank X so much for helping me in my life with his music. His albums 17 and ? were my inspiration to never hide my pain and to show the world how I feel.

X helped me overcome my pain and depression. In the past I was afraid to show people how I feel. Kids in my school used to make fun of me, and make up rumors about me. It would hurt me so much that when I came come home I would tell my parents that I want to move. At times I always wanted to be like the other kids, but they would look at me like I was a fool. These moments would hurt me to a point that at times I contemplated ending my life.

Through all my life, I had low self-esteem. It was hard for me to go to school. I didn't have that many things like good shoes and good clothes. My family didn't have that much money. All they had was an over-drained bank account and they bills to pay for so we could live a better life; sometimes I ask myself, “What is a perfect life? A life where you live rich; a life where you have good shoes and clothes?” Sometimes I don't want to live. Everytime I entered school, kids would look at me and call me an “African booty scratcher,” and kids would start laughing when they said that, and it hurt my feelings deeply. Even the teachers would stand there and do nothing. I'd come home and tell my parents about these things, and all they used to tell me was to stay strong. It felt like they didn't even care for me. I remember one day I was trying to commit suicide, and a girl came up and stopped me. That girl and I were friends for the longest time; we had each other's backs. She looked out for me and I looked out for her. It hurts now as I'm saying these things deeply. She got shot on January 13, 2018. She left me all alone, but when XXXtentacion’s music “Jocelyn Flores” came out, it reminded me of my best friend, Nickel. In his song “Jocelyn Flores,” he showed me that suicide isn't the answer to your problems, the only way to overcome them is by changing yourself and becoming a new person. The only way to overcome your fear of your past is by doing something positive in the future; then you will see a better you. His words changed my life. He influenced me through his music.

It would hurt me so deeply that I would put on makeup just to look beautiful. It hurt so deeply that I would hate the way that God created me. X showed me to love yourself for who you are: your beauty, smiles, hope, and joy is the only thing that your haters don’t like to see about you. Overcome your depression and your life will have something more beautiful out there waiting for you, but you have to open up and brighten your world with positivity.

The truth is this: if anybody could help kids overcome their suicidal thoughts, pain, depression, upset, anger, and break ups, it's X. His music touched us kids, helped us kids, and we thank him so much for that. Anybody can kill, but once they kill a Legend, his life lives on in the impact of his music. R.I.P. XXXtentacion.

“What you crave could soon be yours,

What I crave is already mine.”

-X

rap
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