When Ears Implode.

When I first read about this challenge, it wasn't difficult to locate qualifiers in my head that are otherwise banned from it.

Unfortunately, there are plenty other tracks that deserve similar treatment. But in comparison to the ones featured here, they're tolerable.

Everyone gravitates to music of some type—unless you’ve been inflicted with the rare condition, Melophobia — The fear of music.

There's such a thing? Yes Lamar, there is.

Poor souls...

Throughout our gathering of personal taste, we find music that works for us. It's the songs that make our ears want to detach and run away that makes us realize: All music isn't intended for auditory consumption...

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First up: Shut up and Dance by Walk the moon. (2014)

Man! I don't even know where to begin. This song makes my blood boil and causes an involuntary reaction where my right hand balls into a fist aimed at the radio. I have to use my other hand to quickly restrain it from punching something. Anything! And I don't have a violent bone in my body! Also, no song should ever tell you to shut up! Don't tell us what to do! In fact, I prefer talking through this entire track if somehow forced to listen to it.

Good luck! Hope your ears don't hate you in the morning.

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Next up: Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus. (2000)

Ugh!!! Someone strangle me! Put this misery to rest! I listen to Alternative radio from time to time and this song may be ruining that novelty. I can't seem to avoid its rotation. The lead singer's voice sounds like he converts oxygen into helium when he exhales. That, or he's eaten a plum whole, and it's stuck in his throat. Maybe with a different singer...who am I kidding? This song nullifies any chance of earning a spot in the jukebox in my head.

Try your best to make it through the horror. I'm praying for you...

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Continuing along with: Welcome to the Jungle by Guns for Roses. (1987)

More like Guns and Posers (If you don't know what posers are, then, well, good for you. You're not missing a thing!) This song made the list because it's annoying AF and IT BITES!

The fact that it’s been overplayed to death for no reason means it's had many a year to irritate the shit out of me. I'd rather listen to the George of the Jungle theme song on repeat for 4 hours than listen to this once.

All it takes is hearing the first few notes of this tune to cause a panic attack, wondering how fast I can make it go away. I feel that everyone has heard it before. But if you need a reminder of how agitated it makes you, be my guess. I'm just the messenger...

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You're darn right this next track made the list: Barbie girl by Aqua (1997)

No! I'm not a Barbie Girl and have never been to a Barbie world. But according to this awful song, she is and has. I don't understand how anyone can groove out to such a cringe-worthy track. It screams chick-flick and has been known to collapse eardrums among other things. I forbid you to listen to it!

Well…I guess for the sake of the challenge, I implore you to gather strength and go for it. Just don’t hate me afterwards...

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Finishing the list, this next song’s video is corny AF. The song itself is 🤬🤬🤬… Even just now before typing the title, my fingers are protesting in resistance by cramping up. Here goes: Who let the dogs out? by Baha Men. (2000)

Although catchy, this may be one of the cheesiest lines in the history of cheese... I admit, I liked it the first time I heard it. After that, it was all downhill to the point of hyperventilating while covering my ears every time. The last thing I want is to be playing that question over and over in my head because the rest of the song is an afterthought. I didn't care to memorize any of the other lyrics; there was no point when I knew this song would never make it into the collection.

And they never do tell you who let the dogs out. It's the most-poorly executed mystery in all of music!!!

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Bonus Track:

This challenge requires that you add a song you actually like from one of the same artists you've listed. If I were to choose a favorite from a least favorite artist here, November Rain by Guns and Posers comes to mind. It's a classy, relevant, pleasant-sounding, slower jam that builds to a nice finish. They've even incorporated an orchestra!

Although it's lengthy, I don't think I've ever changed the station when it came on. But don't tell them that! I don't want them to think that I've flipped. Additionally, it may be listenable but I'm still on the fence with Axl's voice, lol.

I listen to Pandora, Sirus and FM radio quite often. I appreciate art in all its forms as long as it resonates to a degree. And I'm sure all the artists listed here have made someone's day. They had to do something right in order to get to where they are/were. Doesn't mean I have to like the end product.

Thank you for being part of this melodic rant. And yes, I feel better.

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The Challenge: Join in on the fun!

https://vocal.media/writers/unofficial-challenge-do-your-worst-unbearable-music-recs