We Will Remember All Her Champagne Problems: Ranking Songs from Taylor Swift's 'evermore'

It’s been over a year since Taylor Swift dropped not one but two surprise albums and the fans went completely nuts. Just like its sibling, evermore is flowing with soothing melodies, alto notes and literary references which make up some fascinating narratives.

To continue on the trend of me discussing her previous work in the past, I thought it’s only fitting to rank the tracks of this album from my least personal favourite to that number one tune. Having had a chance to listen to it for a year, I’d say my opinions are pretty set, but of course, never say never. Let’s begin!

#17 – closure

The only song I never listen to as once was more than enough. The lyrics are on point and relatable to most but I just could not get into the instrumental. Points for experimenting, though.

Favourite lyric: ‘Yes, I got your letter/Yes, I'm doing better/I know that it's over, I don't need your/Closure, your closure’.

#16 – long story short

This one is definitely one of the happier tunes on the record and I love the message of finding the right person for you against all odds but it just doesn’t click with me melody-wise hence why I have only listened to it a handful of times. Just a personal preference on this one.

Favourite lyrics: ‘And I fell from the pedestal/Right down the rabbit hole/Long story short, it was a bad time/Pushed from the precipice/Climbed right back up the cliff/Long story short, I survived’.

#15 – dorothea

Before anyone says anything, I really like this song, just not as much as the others. I generally enjoy Taylor’s pop sound more and while I think it’s important to remember one’s roots before worldwide fame hit, it’s just not something I like to listen to on a regular basis. Regardless, the storytelling lyrics definitely fit the sound so that was a good creative choice.

Favourite lyrics: ‘And if you're ever tired of bеing known for who you know/You know that you'll always know me, Dorothea.’

#14 – ivy

This one might be controversial and I get that – the instrumentals are soothing yet catchy, Taylor’s voice is gentle yet controlled, the imagery vividly captures the folk aesthetic and overall, it fits the album really well. I just don’t enjoy the subject matter much, as said on my previous review and while I know it’s all in the name of creative freedom, it doesn’t always sit right with me.

Favourite lyrics: ‘Oh, I can't/Stop you putting roots in my dreamland/My house of stone, your ivy grows/And now I'm covered in you.’

#13 – cowboy like me

The visuals of this song are top notch and sonically it’s quite different from anything she’s done before, regardless of the country vibe (which would probably make it her most mature country tune apart from one other on this album). Story wise, I do love that the characters ended up together as well. It’s because of its uniqueness that I don’t listen to it too often but I always enjoy it when I do.

Favourite lyrics: ‘And the skeletons in both our closets/Plotted hard to fuck this up.’

#12 – it's time to go

First things first – the message of this track is brilliant and speaks to a lot of people in one way or another, as we’ve all felt unappreciated in some kind of a setting, looking for a way out but hoping for things to change. The main reason it’s fairly low on the list is because other songs are just stronger contenders and I can see why it was opted as a bonus track.

Favourite lyrics: ‘Fifteen years, fifteen million tears/Begging 'til my knees bled/I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all/Then wondered why I left.’

#11 - ‘tis the damn season

I am enchanted by this tune, right from the sassy title to the festive Hallmark film-like imagery. I got the feeling while listening to jump into the song and say ‘just be together you idiots, enough of the drama’. It’s quite interesting to see Swift exploring different types of relationships and telling stories of fictional people that while quite specific resonate with her listeners as all of us can find something we’ve experienced in these songs (I guess that’s the power of her writing). Personally, I would have liked a bit more power in the chorus vocally as we know she’s capable of it, but that’s just me nit-picking.

Favourite lyrics: ‘I'm stayin' at my parents' house/And the road not taken looks real good now/And it always leads to you and my hometown.’

#10 – gold rush

Sonically, this one took me a bit to warm up to as I found the intro quite jarring while the rest of the song was basically fast-spoken poetry. After some listens, I grew to appreciate the subject matter and the hook as it provides some of my favourite lyrics. The conflicting feelings of admiring someone but also resenting them because of how unattainable and adored they are is something we’ve all felt, whether romantically or not.

Favourite lyrics: ‘What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?/With your hair falling into place like dominoes/My mind turns your life into folklore/I can't dare to dream about you anymore.’

#9 – marjorie

Such a beautiful and yet painful track that I, frankly, struggle to listen to without shedding a tear. What a tribute to Taylor’s grandmother and for us as fans, to any relative that we lost along the way, remembering lessons learned from them and carrying out their legacy. For obvious reasons already mentioned, I skip it fairly often, which does not diminish its greatness.

Favourite lyrics: ‘And if I didn't know better/I'd think you were singing to me now/If I didn't know better/I'd think you were still around.’

#8 - right where you left me

Just like the narrator haunts the corner she’s sat at, this track haunts all who hear it. The feeling on being stagnant in your past while everyone else is out there living their best lives is painfully relatable and flawlessly captured. Heartbreak really does seem like the end of the world when you’re young, especially thinking that your former half has let it all go and is perfectly fine while you’re suffering. One thing’s for sure; even as the years pass, miss Swift still remembers what it’s like to feel green in life.

Favourite lyrics: ‘Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?/Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it/She's still twenty-three inside her fantasy/How it was supposed to be.’

#7 - willow

One of the only genuinely happy songs on the record, willow is a great opener that introduces the listeners to what they should expect from the album vocally, melodically, and lyrically. A lullaby-like sound fits the soothing vocals and definitely is something to serenate your own beloved. Taylor definitely knew the genre suited her and leaned right into it.

Favourite lyrics: ‘The more that you say, the less I know/Wherever you stray, I follow/I'm begging for you to take my hand/Wreck my plans, that's my man.’

#6 - evermore

If I had made this list after my first listen, this would like have been a lot lower. Bon Iver’s collaboration seems quite of nowhere at first, which took by surprise. Now it makes sense as the song basically outlines life with depression and the bridge is a much-needed change which gives the narrator hope that things will get better eventually, a message we all could use sometimes. I also adore Swift’s vocals, soft but controlled, a perfect combination.

Favourite lyrics: ‘And I was catching my breath/Barefoot in the wildest winter/Catching my death.’

#5 - coney island

This track is so calm some would describe it as apathetic even, but there’s more to it beneath the surface. In a way, the manner it’s sung in is perfect for it as the song is about two people who both neglected the relationship they were in for various reasons and now choose to live in the past and the good times they had as their chance is already wasted (as least that was my take on things). Some people said their voices did not mesh together well but I personally didn’t notice. Overall, an easy to listen to tune with a bittersweet storyline.

Favourite lyrics: ‘Break my soul in two looking for you/But you're right here/If I can't relate to you anymore/Then who am I related to?/.’

#4 - happiness

What a misleading title. This tune is definitely track 5 material and is a beautiful yet heart-breaking look into the aftermath of what can be presumed to have been a long-term relationship. Even as the song starts, the narrator is already seeing things as they have happened and knows that the pain will subside eventually, recognising that just because things ended, that doesn’t mean they weren’t great at some point. One of her lyrical best, that’s for sure.

Favourite lyrics: ‘Honey, when I'm above the trees/I see it for what it is/But now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head/After giving you the best I had/Tell me what to give after that.’

#3 - tolerate it

Speaking of track fives, this one is a killer. The pain is practically dripping from Swift’s voice and the instrumental. It’s a situation that no one wishes to be in – giving your all to someone and them acting like they’re doing you a favour by accepting it. One sided relationships are the worst and so hard to leave even though you know you deserve better. The melodic pattern took me a while to get used to as the register is off on purpose but it’s a nice experiment in that regard.

Favourite lyrics: ‘I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’

#2 - no body, no crime

I loved this one on first listen and I love it now just the same. It’s a true crime story in a song format and has just the right mixture of menace and sass to make it entertaining. There’s also a nice rhythm that takes you right into the action. Shame Este had to die for it and we can’t even prove it (bad jokes galore)!

Favourite lyrics: ‘Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen/And I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene.’

#1 - champagne problems

There could’ve been no other option. My most listened to song of 2021, this is so sad and full of emotion I’d find it hard to hear if it wasn’t too good to miss (drink if that sentence didn’t make sense to you). Mental illnesses are a scary thing (since that is what the song is referring to) and the fear that having them can stop you from fully enjoying life and ruin your relationships is a horrible feeling to relate to. This song is a masterpiece and can definitely rival All Too Well.

Favourite lyrics: ‘"She would've made such a lovely bride/What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.’