The Valentine's Day Evolution

Valentine’s Day is highly contested -- what I like to think of as a swing holiday. There are plenty of romantics who adore the dedication of love, just as there are those who find the entirety of the day cliche. Part of society views the holiday as a scam promoting Hallmark and consumerism, while another part will roll their eyes at such cynical beliefs.

I have noticed that Valentine’s Day seems to affect me differently every year.

There are some years I am filled with excitement for plans of romance and deepening connections. Other years I anxiously buckle under the pressure of trying to live up to a spectacular ideal or emotion. The most dreadful years, however, are the ones that are left uncelebrated -- the years that I find myself without a special someone to share the holiday with.

The overwhelming thing about Valentine’s Day is how especially difficult it is to ignore. What begins in grade school as a fair, innocent celebration of snoopy cards and candy hearts turns into something else.

As we grow up, the inclusivity of the holiday fades away. By the time we are in high school Valentine’s day is only a possibility of celebration, not a guarantee.

Instead of counting the class size, Valentine cards are tallied by counting our friends. Preparations went from scribbling names onto miniature cards to curating goodie bags for a select group.

The holiday becomes more exciting and unpredictable, but it also becomes more exclusive.

For some people, high school on February 14th was spent collecting roses and delivering tokens of love. For others, the day was spent alone -- sitting silently at a desk while the celebration carried on around them.

It did not matter if you were participating in the holiday, you would still be in the middle of it.

Even once we sweep past these formative years, Valentine’s Day as an adult proves to present similar emotional obstacles. Instead of having to face a public display of rejection by our peers, we face a private reflection of self-worth through our screens. In the age of social media, the platforms we scroll through almost mirror a version of a high school classroom.

As the countdown inches towards Valentine’s Day, the average status updates and everyday images become a blur of blissful partnerships and their celebrations to come. Everywhere we turn we are reminded of something missing. Once again, being single feels like you are drowning in a sea of flowers and chocolate.

So, if you are one of the lonely hearts being benched this year, I would like to offer a new perspective..

We need to remember that the first weeks of February are only temporarily blinding us to the potential single life has to offer. Being unattached is usually known as a testament to freedom and independence -- but Valentine’s Day expertly overshadows this reality. It is time to clear things up and focus on what matters most.

The journey of life is unique and the path we follow is special, too special to be dictated by a fleeting moment of exclusion. Because the truth is, your relationship status does not determine your ability to enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Separate yourself from the belief that you need a partner to take part in the festivities. Stop comparing your life to a flood of photos being shared throughout social media. Remember that this day is just bad chocolate and stuffed, oversized clutter -- what makes it special is our hearts and every person we hold close to them.

Valentine’s Day is a day for everyone -- single or not. Celebrate those you love and cherish, and make sure you are one of them. This is a day reserved for more than couples, it is a day reserved for love.

So, love your partner. Love your family.

Love yourself.

Extraordinary Machine -- Fiona Apple

“If there was a better way to go then it would find me

I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me

Be kind to me, or treat me mean

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine”

Merry Happy -- Kate Nash

“I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah”

Gives you Hell -- The All-American Rejects

“And truth be told I miss you

And truth be told I'm lying”

Whistle While you Work it -- Katy Tiz

“Gotta smile while you're hurting

And whistle while you work it”

Someone New -- Hozier

“I fall in love just a little ol' little bit every day with someone new”

Hush -- Eliza Doolittle

“I thought I knew you but I never really knew you yeah

It seems as if you've changed your name,

And it offends me that you'd bring this bad energy

And think I'd participate”

Not Big -- Lily Allen

“I never wanted it to end up this way

You've only got yourself to blame

I'm gonna tell the world you're rubbish in bed now

And that you're small in the game”

Sorry not Sorry -- Demi Lovato

“'Cause the grass is greener under me

Bright as Technicolor, I can tell that you can see

And yeah, I know how bad it must hurt to see me like this

But it gets worse (Wait a minute)”

Calabria 2008 -- Enur

“Make me wobble, make me whole body bubble”