“The Not-So-Pleasant King” - song

A song written for the challenge and for funsies (I'm not a professional songwriter). Sound wise: think rock. Or perhaps wacky rock. There will be no video or audio attached - I've had enough embarrassment to last three eternities already (sorry). Hopefully the tone comes out in the lyrics.

*

[Verse 1]

My throne is made of the finest material

Of leather from afar, of gold and steel

No one can take this from me

You think I care about your sheep or family?

Why not bow and pay me a thousandfold

Your complaints are getting old

I'm not ignoble, I'm just right

You may kneel, peasantry, for I am quite the sight

*

[Chorus]

I am the king, your king, the one and only

The dais isn't high enough for my greatness

I am the sovereign, the ruler

Sculpt another statue in my likeness

One gold coin is worth more than all of you

With millions in my treasury, it’s only getting taller

You all shall offer up your due

There is no escape, pay the toll

Dear peasants, I was born for this role

*

[Verse 2]

Bring me my wine, the finest drink

Let's raise our glass to our venerable leader with a clink

It's me, your loveable king, dear follower

Come on, don’t make me fold my arms and tap my feet

For you gaze upon someone so much greater

My robes are a hearth of delight

Pray to me now or embrace the winters fright

*

[Verse 3]

My serfs are here for me

I’m sure we can all agree

As are all of you, the people who matter not

In the grand scheme of our plot

I will eat your food with a laugh so hearty

The guards will protect me, but I’ll be docking their salary

When I’m done, you’ll love my many heirs

Hey, what’s with all the swords and glares?

*

[Chorus]

I am the king, your king, the one and only

The dais isn't high enough for my greatness

I am the sovereign, the ruler

Sculpt another statue in my likeness

One gold coin is worth more than all of you

With millions in my treasury, it’s only getting taller

You all shall offer up your due

There is no escape, pay the toll

Dear peasants, I was born for this role

*

[Verse 4]

With hand to mouth, I am gobsmacked

The respect of my people untapped

I am the king, did you not hear?

This cell won’t hold my personage

You’ll soon be seeing the rear end of my image

Imagine me, the greatest king fleeing

When I return, those taxes will be increasing

*

[Bridge]

Driven out of my home, my land

This is going against all I had planned

The ownership remains mine

Now and forever until the end of time

You give yourself temporary freedom

One fatal mistake

I still live! Ha-ha!

*

[Chorus]

I am the king, your king, the one and only

The dais isn't high enough for my greatness

I am the sovereign, the ruler

Sculpt another statue in my likeness

One gold coin is worth more than all of you

With millions in my treasury, it’s only getting taller

You all shall offer up your due

There is no escape, pay the toll

Dear peasants, I was born for this role

*

[Final verse]

With barque full of gold

I sail the seas, my greatest story still untold

I will return, my glory, my power

Everyone will kneel, every soul has a price

There is sometimes more to gold: there is someone's life

A bribe, blackmail, I will have what is mine

Oh, it will be so very, very divine

*

[Chorus]

I am the king, your king, the one and only

The dais isn't high enough for my greatness

I am the sovereign, the ruler

Sculpt another statue in my likeness

One gold coin is worth more than all of you

With millions in my treasury, it’s only getting taller

You all shall offer up your due

There is no escape, pay the toll

Dear peasants, I was born for this role

_________________

Author's notes

Disclaimer: I am not the king.