That song that made you better
How the music sang my feelings
You know that song that you listen to when you recover from the biggest obstacle of your life? Whether it is a break up, a loss, anything to keep you from being in that dark moment where sadness was a comfort zone. Suddenly new changes happen that makes life new and different. A new mind set starts to emerge, you start realizing yesterday's pain is something that should stay in the past. You find yourself smiling, when you realise who you are inside. There is always that one song that you can relate to spiritually. It's like your minds frequency sends off a message to a musical artist to write a song just for you. In my opinion "Music" that is relatable lyrically, can make you feel not alone and ready to take on the world.
There was a period in time where I was having tough moments for years, never mind a month or so. I ended up trusting the wrong people, not loving myself enough to cherish my worth. I also gave up a job based on someone's opinion. They managed to convince me to be licensed in the medical field for fast money and guaranteed employment lets just say it wasn't for me. That year, I also suffered an intense break-up with my ex and left me not only in pain but high in debt of finances. All of this and maintaining my composure to show my son, who was 3 years old at the time, that his mommy is okay. It all just became an enormous boulder that was both suffocating and very heavy. If my memory suits me, I remember my life being so gray and sadly most of my time, I was just not happy with myself.
The outcome of the pain and destruction? I created myself. I created my peace. I found myself smiling, and it took one selfish mentality, where I just decided what was best for me instead of having people deciding for me. I held on strong to my sanity because of my son. Balancing yourself emotionally and being a mother was one tough thing to do. But surely enough, things did get better! I took charge of my life, changed my career goals, surrounded myself with my son, friends and family that support me and applaud my successes. I have learned to enjoying my own solitude as well.
The one song I heard that best describes my anthem for the year 2020 is called "Better" by an artist name Kerli. Haven't heard of her? You're not the only one. This song introduced me to this unique artist with a different appearance of a doll-like gothic porcelain figure of a female. Her music is phenomenal, and her lyrics connected to me on a personal level. You see, sometimes a painful expierence can have a beautiful refreshed outcome. I love this song. It's like a perspective of speaking towards those who doubted her giving her the feul to burn the flame to prove them wrong. In other words, she made it. My favorite quote, is
" I won't blame the world
'Cause everytime it hurts
When I went through the worst
I came out better"
- The obstacles that I overcame has given me confidence. I have become someone who is not only new and better, but my mind feels rejuvinated from self hate and doubt. I feel ready for any obstacles I must face in the future. Although 2020 was a rough year for all of us, I think this song best describes the way we all feel surpassing the circumstances of this year. It helped me realize how things can go bad but in due time it will be okay.
If you can make it then, you can make it now.