Shirotenshi

Love is illusive and confusing. Love is so vast that it can look completely different from two separate perspectives. That was the inspiration behind this project. 16 tracks of my deepest thoughts and meditations on love, what it means, and how twisted it’s image can be, Shirotenshi.

The name is Japanese and it translates into “White Angel” in English. I chose this name for it’s dual significance. The concept of duality in this project is extremely prevalent. The first concept is that of a white angelic figure, an agent of whatever god you believe in, a holy being filled with the eternal love of everything. This is an analogy on how people tend to view their partners in a relationship. The other half is that of the “White Savior” image in religious and societal contexts.

I started this album during the summer of 2020 during the largest protest movement in history. Coincidentally I was also going through an intense break up at the time with someone I saw myself being with forever. This period in my life was the backdrop and emotional fuel for the heart of this project.

My goal was to encapsulate all of the heavy weight on my heart I was experiencing. This is why the subject matter of the album transitions from light to dark. I sought to express all of the pain I was feeling while reminding myself that the world is feeling what I was during that time. Pain in our souls as a result of bad love.

To speak on racism viewed through the same lens as an ex you once could only think the world of gave me new perspective. Americans love black culture and have since before anyone today was alive. With centuries of love and hate in this way it’s clear to see the love goes both ways.

For as much as we (African Americans) may rebel, many don’t want to leave their homes. Home is where the heart is so it’s safe to say that Black people en mass love America, maybe not it’s shady practices, but they definitely love the land and it’s people. Still we’re made out to be loud, obnoxious, and wholly unintellectual. As though we don’t understand the “White” experience in this country.

This already sounds like the mother of all arguments, and in a sense it is. Shirotenshi doesn’t aim to tell you how to view it, your perception is totally your own. My objective is to show you that all of this chaos is only because of love. Men blinded by their lust for power are only seeking to be loved and revered more. It is the absence of feeling love that causes lust, we pine for that of which we feel should be entitled to us. Love, yet it seems the more we meditate on love the less we feel it.

These days I’ve come to learn that the feeling of love is fleeting, this I’ve known for years, however thinking with love in mind is eternal. This is why I believe feel so disconnected from my peers, everyone is looking to feel love, when we should instead, experience life with love already in your mental space. The phrase “love yourself and you are loved” comes to mind here.

It was these meditations that drove me into a manic state. Going through these experiences showed me how much I sacrificed love of myself for the benefit of people who barely think to reach out to me. For what?

In all honesty I’m not a sage or a guru so to that inquiry I have no answer, however I can say with confidence that I’ve seen love and I’ve seen hate and never before have I been as confused about the two as I am now. Yet, I’ve also never known a deeper love for myself and the people around me and a greater appreciation for my experiences than now, and for that much I am eternally grateful.

You can listen to “Shirotenshi” exclusively on my SoundCloud and Audiomack accounts as this album is 100% free, all I ask is that you listen, tell me what you think about it, and share it with your friends.

Thank you,

- KS