My First Inspirations

I was raised in a strictly white area of northern Indiana. I lived in such an impenetrable bubble that I did not actually see a Black person for the first time, in person, until I moved in with my Nan, a good hour or so north of Indianapolis. I had been so sheltered, it was plain to see, because seeing them actually scared me at first. As a kid, you're faced with so much wild propaganda from racist family members that you're truly believed to be afraid of them on the spot. It was an embarrassing knee-jerk reaction that I had to unlearn.

The first thing I noticed upon moving into a town mixed with white and Black people both, many white people were unnecessarily racist. I had several exes drop the "N" word with a laugh and a smile, and it appalled me to the core. I never understood how or why it was even logical to despise anyone based on how they look. Call me naive, but I had grown up with an admiration for black women, despite my upbringing trying so hard to work that against me. Learning to be compassionate was easy enough, but apparently not for all.

Yet, reflecting on my sheltered childhood, I'll never forget the first time I found myself in complete awe of the talent, skill, and beauty of a strong, Black woman.

Aaliyah came on MTV one day in 1998, dancing and singing in her "Are U That Somebody?" I can't accurately describe what went through me when I watched her dance movements, her attire, every single thing about her...I wanted to be as cool as her. I had never seen a celebrity be so absolutely cool. I felt determined to look like her. I sought the baggiest jeans possible, my small training sports bra, threw a jacket over it, and positioned myself in my bedroom for a lengthy lesson of Aaliyah dancing on repeat. I wanted to be exactly like her. She had exactly the kind of vibe I wanted to have.

Unfortunately, that dream came crashing down quickly. My father did not like me acting so "trashy."

It didn't seem trashy to me at all. I was eleven years old. I really couldn't have cared less about the attire, but I had to look like her if I wanted to actually be cool. It was frustrating.

At the very least, I wished he would have let me keep watching her. However, I made do with sneaking onto MTV as often as possible when he wasn't home so I wouldn't miss a quick glimpse of her. Moving forward, I will never forget the day she passed away. It was the first celebrity death that truly crushed me. She was a bold, beautiful spirit, and we did not deserve her but she did not even have to die. That just simply hurt.

I'm just glad I got to have her as a child. However, once I realized I'd found every cool thing she ever did, I had more to find.

I was hungry for more bold, daring, and beautiful moves, and I next discovered Scary Spice of the Spice Girls.

Her hair was the coolest out of all of them. She had her tongue pierced. She sang beautifully, with a strong and passionate voice. She spoke with conviction, and I wanted to learn to speak like that. I had always been so shy...I simply wanted to be more like her. She ended up being the inspiration for my tongue ring when I turned 19, even, but I digress...

Of course, the other Spice Girls were incredibly fun and perfect additions, but Scary Spice just had that thing I was looking for. That bold, daring approach, rebellious with a good side...sounds like me, for sure!

For the entirety of my adolescent years, Aaliyah Haughton and Melanie Brown both made an impact on the kind of woman I wanted to be. They were strong enough to sing (or rap) how they wanted, they dressed how they wanted, no one could stop them from being who they wanted, and I just hoped I could find that courage someday. Little did I know that all across America, small Black girls were finding heroes in them just like I was.

All of us, as parents, should show our boys and girls the tremendous talents we find around us and give ourselves and our children access to a variety of musics, cultures, and even food. YouTube is the easiest way to travel the world from home, and no location should be excluded based on who lives there. You need these people; they tell their stories more beautifully than an article or statistics ever could. A book may have words, but human words have soul and emotion. Go for the part that ignites the reason why we have art to enjoy and learn from.

For me, the inspiration and passion from Black artists have continued to inspire and promote a stronger approach and behavior in my creative path. As a child, your first inspirations set you on your direct path to yourself, and having been gifted with the privilege of knowing; admiring Aaliyah and Mel B was easy enough, because their talent made it so, but you never truly appreciate the scope of that inspiration until you're older. For the sake of future generations, I think it's important to have this exposure so other young people can utilize the strength in the memories of enjoyment when they're older.

Black celebrities don't just make money. They make memories for us.