My angsty teen songs

Tokyo Narita- Halsey

I was always angsty, still, and this song has many emotions that can’t be described. The lyrics never really held a deep meaning for me but when I’m all run out from thinking, feeling, or saying anything I can play this. It’s not anything I’ve experienced but I can feel what she’s feeling like going through the motions. It’s just a short freestyle but it feels like so much more. I really can’t explain it.

Michigan- the milk carton kids

A song I found in middle school, the height of angsty times. I’ve never been to Michigan but when it’s said it reminds me that all that was is gone, and all I can do is be here and go forward even when terrified. I listened to this when I wanted to run away. The calmness of the instruments instantly soothes that fear and shines some hope. It feels like everyone knows me better than myself, and constantly tell me which confuses me on who I really am. No one does know you but when they give you reasons to be here but suddenly don’t care anymore about what you’re doing or how you are it feels like; well what do I do now? Taking words out of my mouth and now I have nothing to say.

The paper kites- bloom

A song for a lost love that doesn’t even know. All the words I couldn’t say but everything I felt from the bottom of my heart. I never did have friends or someone I could call mine, but even for a friend the lyrics speak all I ever wanted. When I would go to school and sit alone, do projects alone, or just be alone; I played this and it made me feel safe. It’s like a longing for something I never had but in the most beautiful way. Just watching people be and seeing the beauty but not existing in it. Can I be close to you? I used to feel like a bad person, like is something wrong with me and that’s why no one speaks to me.

Hold me- Janine

When I feel weak but know I need to keep going, but the thought of does anyone see my struggle is what holds me down. My mom and dad never were the loving type and I never knew people could just hug you and take away all that pain that really never existed. The lyrics and softness is like being held close where you can just cry quietly against someone while everything inside you is on fire. I needed someone to not leave and to prove me wrong and just stay.

Ti Justin timberline ft Eminem- Dead and gone

The anger and aggression in Eminem’s rap really made this song feel more powerful than just the regular version. I’ve been looked at like a freak by people seeing me for the first time. You feel bad initially but it gets annoying, frustrating and sometimes you get angry. Though the story isn’t the same the conclusions and feelings are ever present. Problems within the family, similar to the ones talked about. I only had my sisters who also had to grow up in house taking care of ourselves. Absent fathers and mothers that tell you you’re a burden always. I’m not aggressive by any means and I tend to be overlooked which is why the anger is where it’s really at. Then when the chorus hits it just an explode of everything. Instead of feeling dead and gone like I’ve become something new I just felt like nothing, dead and gone.

Halsey- garden

Truly beautiful even just the instrumental. People are always watching even when they want you to think they aren’t. They wanna know what you’re doing cause it can’t possibly be better than what they are? They play nice but the situation isn’t. I had a garden growing out of the darkness then I meet you and suddenly the darkness is where I wanna be. People want you to be where they are even if it pulls you down too and bruises you but they’ll make sure to tell you you’re beautiful.

PCH- Jaden Smith ft Willow Smith

I could listen to this at anytime and it would always be there for me. It just makes sense in a place where nothing does. I wanted love and connections with people like me who wanted to run away and make our own path. Where we cry together and smile through the tears cause we see the beauty in the pain. We are different but the same and even if we don’t have the answers we make them. The ocean waves in the background bring me to the beach though I’ve never really been and I go to a place where the clouds are dark but somehow it’s still bright out, like when a storms coming but it’s still light and everything is calm.

Jaymes Young- Fragments

You don’t forget the people who hurt you, especially ones you love. But what you remember isn’t what it was at first. You only have pieces, not all of them so you can’t make a picture again. I felt I was in fragments and that’s all I got to give, nothing whole. You can’t blame anyone else for your pain that they also feel. It’s like broken people find broken people cause whole people already have their pieces. It feels like this song can mean many things although it has its own purpose, but to me it feels like letting go when you don’t want to but there’s nothing left to grip.

BAP- Wake Me Up

A song for the kids that have been told they’re the problem when they really have problems. A problem is something you want to get rid of but what does it become when you’re described as a problem instead. Do you get rid of yourself? I wanted to wake up from the nightmare that was my mind and not only are the lyrics inspiring but it doesn’t shy away from the hurt that’s present. The actual song is in Korean but when you know what the song is about the translation becomes more prevalent. It talks about growing up in a society that’s sick and have no means of getting better cause they’re so desperate for the answer they can’t hear the solution.