Mainstream Sellout Album Reaction - In Writing

MAINSTREAM SELLOUT LIVE WRITING

[ADDED AT THE END: I thought I was writing on a blank Word document but it turns out I had started what is written below. I’m leaving it for two reasons. One is I was thinking about how MGK says in Downfalls High that there are no happy endings so I wrote this paragraph with no thought as to what I would do with it. The second reason is that I like it and it fits the style of the rest of the writing so maybe reading it first will help you wade into a somewhat confusing style that’s maybe a little unusual or maybe somebody else did it first because what didn’t somebody else do first, am I right? And also, it’s relevant to what happens later.

Before you proceed to read this, I’d like to warn you of a few things. First, it’s long. Over 7700 words and counting. This was my attempt to write live as I listened to Mainstream Sellout for the first, and what turned out to be the second time. I was inspired by YouTube reaction channels but I can’t talk. Well, that’s a lie (because everybody lies, am I right?), because I love to talk. But what I mean is I can’t think and talk at the same time, but I can think and write at the same time and so I wanted to try something different. The downside is a lot of people don’t like to read so obviously it’s not going to have the same kind of reach as a YouTube video. But, hey, if one person reads it and enjoys it, it was worth my time. That’s an MGK attitude, there. Anyway, it started as one thing and ended up as another and you know, it is what it is because those are the rules I established in my head for this, which I could change at any time but am not going to before I post this tonight. Anyway, when you get past the next paragraph, I would strongly recommend that you listen to the album in order so that you can read what I’m saying as you’re hearing it. I think it might be cool to have a dual sensory experience like that – listening and reading but it might be hard so maybe alternate. Read, then listen, or listen then read. Or don’t. It’s your life. Just my suggestion to try to enhance your experience so that this is more than words (one of my ex-husband’s favorite songs). I love music. Here we go: END EDIT]

A story can begin and end where-ever the story teller wants. It’s nonsense to say there are no happy endings, because by virtue of telling the story, you can decide if the ending is happy or sad. People decry happy endings as corny but here’s a secret – corny is just something that is sentimental and makes you feel emotions, and people who are afraid of their emotions use the word corny to protect their hearts from this unexpected feeling that the story has brought to their inexperienced souls. This is a protective shell that sooner or later, if they’re lucky, will encounter the right piece of art, the right story, and make a connection that changes their entire perspective and then corny will become sweet, in a good way. But I digress (as I often will, so please get used to it at your leisure). With a shift in perspective, it is possible to look at all art as a story, whether we’re talking about a song, which has an obvious beginning and end, or a sculpture which is more a frozen glimpse of a story that never progressed, or a painting which can imply a past and future, although it also exists only in the present, except through context. Obviously literature is full of stories, and stories within stories within stories. Within the story of any piece of literature is a web of stories of characters and events and locations that all intertwine to form THE story that is the book itself.

[ADDED AT END: Not me, again, already. This is present Shelly interrupting past Shelly to say this. I’m just jumping in to quickly point out for clarity purposes that this below is where I started my live writing so this is the actual beginning and everything you just read was the end, except the last paragraph which was the pre-beginning. It’s weird, right? I love that. This album is a storybook, and it’s like I knew it yesterday when I wrote that paragraph for no reason except I was thinking about Downfalls High. So maybe, that was the inspiration for all of this. I have so many inspirations I can’t list them all but definitely thank you all. If you don’t know you are, just pretend it’s you and accept my gratitude. My work here is done, so this is the end, but please keep reading. It’s long but I hope you will find it worth it. If not, I’m sorry. I hope you at least learned one thing to make up for it. If you hated it or are confused, it’s OK. My opinion of you is not determined by your connection to the art I make. I respect you for you, not for what you think about I did. So I love you and this is the end, my beautiful friend. (Keep going – unless you’ve already read this, then you’re done). END EDIT]

[FINAL FINAL EDIT: I.e., I lied again. I am so sorry. I just wanted to say that I am under no kind of delusion that anybody at all will read this and like it, let alone lots of people. But what I learned, again, from Machine Gun Kelly’s music is that you have to believe what you write for it to reach people and so that is the approach I tried to take, successful or not. I feel like this is what I’ve been waiting to write since I heard the first song by Machine Gun Kelly in 2017 (the song is 27, it’s beautiful, right?). I started being inspired and kept collecting inspiration but I didn’t know what to do with it. So, maybe this is it. And maybe it isn’t. Time tells. Time waits for no man. Wait, that’s not mine. Whatever. Stop if you already read this. I’m not doing that to you again. I hope but I really can’t say. Tell you what, if I do it again, I’ll cheat and say that I’m cheating when I cheat so you don’t have to keep going and this is actually the end. END FINAL EDIT].

It’s 12:05. I’m late. Mainstream Sellout came out 5 minutes ago and I haven’t even started listening yet. I think I’m delaying my gratification deliberately – savoring the anticipation because there is literally nothing like new Machine Gun Kelly music for me, and there is definitely nothing better than listening to one of his albums for the first time for me and many of his fan family. I’m not sure what’s going to happen here, but I’m going to put on my headphones and go through the album, and write my impressions as I listen for the first time. Obviously, I am a huge Machine Gun Kelly fan so just know that. I’m biased, but it’s the kind of bias based on a lot of knowledge and experience. I’ve been to 28 of his concerts so far since I found his music at the end of 2017, and I’ve heard ALL (I think – although I keep stumbling across new old songs occasionally) of his music. I love it all. I’ve watched all the interviews, videos, the Kellyvision series he put on YouTube and have even had the privilege of being able to meet & speak with him briefly several times. So, full disclosure. I’ll probably love it. That being said, I will keep my mind open and give my honest opinion. It’s how I roll. I am one of his biggest fans (in my age group at least; I will be 60 in August this year), but I’m not delusional. Well, not about him anyway.

OK, it’s time to start. I’m so excited. I’ll set the mood first. Obviously it’s 10 after midnight now on March 25th, 2022, and Mainstream Sellout was just released. I’m sitting alone in my dark bedroom of my new house with a candle on the nightstand (from The Nice Plant – shout out Dre & Jasmine and it’s the best smelling thing I’ve ever smelled apart from their room spray which is the same scent). I am wearing my Justin Bieber Big tour shirt. The house is quiet. In the room above me, my nearly two-year old grandson is sound asleep, perhaps dreaming of dinosaurs or CHOO CHOO or CARS (which he yells whenever we watch the music video to my ex’s best friend together – he loves when the car flies in the air and crashes. I worked today, I have to work tomorrow, but I have barely been able to sleep this week because I knew this moment would arrive.

So here we go. I will be listening on Tidal for the first listen. I am listening on my Samsung Galaxy S9+ (Sorry, it’s old but it’ll still sound good) with wired ear buds. I made sure the ear buds are in the right ears because it’s really important to the experience. I’ve plugged in the ear buds and made sure my volume is up and now, finally, 20 minutes later, I’m pressing play.

First song: Born With Horns

The percussion opening – Travis Barker killing it. Now the guitar is joining in. Going to listen first. Switch in tempo is amazing. I love when he hums – I know he was inspired by Kid Cudi on that and he does it so well. Then a scream and it picks back up! The lyrics – I can’t really describe. At the beginning and end, it’s very fast. It sounds really good. MGK always is able to make his voice fit perfectly, slow, fast, up and down. The part about “no happy endings” puts me in mind of Downfalls High. He changes tones like some people change their minds – effortlessly. This song puts me in mind of title track from Tickets to My Downfall in the structure. It is fast, then slow, then fast. To me, those changes in tempo make a song feel more epic, I mean epic in a literary sense – a big story with ups and downs, like The Odyssey. In song, it’s something like Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, or the Pink Floyd’s The Wall. I feel like this album is going to have that epic quality. I loved it but I do need to listen to it a few more times to pick up on the lyrics. What I did get was very dark. I may even listen again after and keep writing.

Next listen: I like the part one, part two, etc. It reminds me of some of his rap songs. He likes using numeric devices like that. It’s so fast at the end and then fades out with some static. Very cool.

Second song: god save me

Very cool production on this song. This song is about his life. Smile for the camera. This is really hard because I want to listen to the lyrics. Maybe I’ll listen and then recap while I listen again. This song had to be therapy for him. It’s literally everything he’s been saying smushed into a whole new package and giving us a whole new view.

Next listen: There’s a very cool bass line on this song and then it stops with a piano key (maybe). It’s very cool. Songs like this are really hard for EST because they are such a real look at his mental state. He’s talking about blowing his brains out. The “It’s a good night” is so catchy. I like the la la la – he has a rasp in his voice. Really good.

Third song; maybe ft. Bring Me The Horizon

I’ve also heard this one although not as much. This is such a good song. I’ll be honest – I’m not really sure what this song is about. It seems like it’s about a failing relationship, but then again, it could also be about ending a bad habit, or about mental health. “I’m taking the last drink while my conscious eats me.” I haven’t actually read the lyrics yet, but I will. The drums are just so important on this song, as well as the breaks in the instrumental. I haven’t actually heard BMTH before (don’t shoot me) but this song will definitely send me to their discography (or maybe to a few reaction channels – I know a few that do a lot of both of their music). I honestly can’t believe how well their voices go together.

Listening again: Told you I hear something new every time. I’m hearing the cymbals coming in before the percussion in the first verse – haven’t heard that before. Trying to understand the big picture on this one – I’m further along obviously. Some people have said this song reminds them of Misery Business – I can hear it in the guitar breaks and some of the riffs but other than that, not so much. Maybe inspired it, but it’s much more than that (not that MB isn’t a great song). Let’s say it’s much different than that.

Fourth song: drug dealer ft. Lil Wayne

Obviously it’s about his relationship with drugs. Wow, Lil Wayne sounds great, too. I love this collaboration – they’re awesome together. But, I’ll be honest – I’ve never heard a bad MGK collaboration. He always manages to complement the artist while making sure they sound like themselves and he sounds like him. It is hard to function without a good drug dealer.

Next listen: It’s like a love song, but to the substances that keep him alive but that could also kill him. I really like the chorus when Lil Wayne and MGK sing together. This is a really good song, but so dark with all the drugs. Like most of his songs, it doesn’t glorify drugs to me – it really talks about what they do to him.

Fifth song: wall of fame ft. Pete Davidson

Oh, it’s an interlude featuring his daughter Casie and Pete, obviously. I love these interludes, because they’re so funny.

Next listen: They are the three stooges. Love the laugh after the heavy songs.

Sixth song: mainstream sellout

Opens with the drums. This is from the point of view of his haters. I love the twist in perspective – so many of his songs are from his point of view – but I love when he switches to somebody else’s view. They’re basically kicking him out of the scene and sending him to the mainstream. I love that.

Next listen: I love how the verse is very sing-songy, like a caricature of a mainstream pop song, but the words do not give you that vibe at all. If you’ve seen the Amazon Live promotion video where he plays an emo kid named Terry interviewing himself – I think it’s Terry singing this song.

Seventh song: make up sex ft. blackbear

Just what the title says. A song about breaking up to make up. He and blackbear are unparalleled on sex songs. The vocals on this song are amazing. I love the end so much. This is terribly hard to do. I just want to listen.

Next listen: The rhythm on this song is very sexual. I don’t know what I mean by that. Maybe it would be a good song to have sex to? Somebody report back to me. I like the distortions – they’re lightly used but they really add to the vibe of the song. Oh I love when blackbear goes high – I’m sure that’s him in the background? I also love the “I’m missing you. Is it someone new?” and then boom it ends.

Eighth song: emo girl ft. Willow

This one was also released. A lot of people in EST (MGK’s fan movement) don’t like this song. I love it. People take things too seriously. This is a fun song about being in love. What’s not to like. I love the contrast between MGK’s and Willow’s voices; they blend together so well when they sing together and it’s like their voices layer perfectly to make such a good sound. The funniest thing about this song is it’s very popular on Tik Tok (so I’ve heard), but I’ve heard it’s for the wrong reasons but what’s hilarious is it doesn’t matter if you’re using it because you love it or hate it – he still gets the money and really – doesn’t that tie in perfectly to the Mainstream Sellout theme? Turns out it’s easier to write about the songs when I’ve heard them a few times.

Listening again: Oh, I heard some new ad libs this time. I seriously don’t see how people hate this song. The more I listen, the more I love it. Oh there’s a very cool percussion behind part of Willow’s verse that I hadn’t heard before. That was really unique-sounding. You’d think someone who wastes as many words as me could come up with something besides unique to describe it. Like a tap-tap maybe? My favorite part is the end when their voices blend together (“she’s in love, emo girl, ok, I’m in love….”). It sounds so good.

Ninth song: 5150

Oh I love the way this is starting. It’s jumping between my ears. This is definitely about his mental health, pushing away his loved ones. This is really different instrumentally. I love the guitars. Travis really is a genius on the drums. I can’t tell if the point of view on this song is jumping back and forth between two characters talking to each other, or if he’s just talking to himself. It definitely feels more like that. Guys, I have literally been bouncing all over my bed this whole time. It’s really hard to describe how the juxtaposition between the tempo on the instrumental and the darkness in the lyrics is jarring, but comforting. I can’t explain it well.

Next listen: They have a little echo in his voice that makes it sound like he’s in a room; seems like normally they cancel that out, but it fits – maybe he’s in the psych ward. I do feel like this is from two points of view. Those drums, especially during the confession part at the end. I don’t know all the technical things about drums, but my ears are telling me these are perfect. Sounds like a siren at the end with the guitar – that’s crazy. How can you want to dance to such dark songs, but I’m bouncing all over my bed.

Tenth song: papercuts – album edit

I’ve heard this song, so I won’t write as much. This song is about expectations from the public; they wanted them, but they got us. Even today, I was on social media. Oh wait. It is an album edit. Thought it might just be the rap verse added (From the VMA performance), but there are some additional ad libs in the background. It’s a little fuller in the instrumental – I feel like the original release had less of it. This has more of the feel of seeing him perform the song live. It’s more electric in the production. It’s hard to explain. Oh, the rap verse now. I love the way the guitar just comes in for a chord and then it’s just his voice at the beginning and then it blooms into full instrumentation with some really cool effects as the rap keeps going. I love it even more than the original, which I loved.

Listening again: I feel like there’s another instrument. I don’t know if it’s a guitar or what but it’s very delicate. Having seen this in concert several times on the TTMD tour, it’s a really good preview (although still way different from) of what it’s like live. More so than it was when it was initially released. It came alive versus that version the first time I heard it live, but this encapsulates the live experience more. I can’t say enough about the rap verse at the end. I can’t believe how good it is, except I can because I knew his potential. Epic ending.

Eleventh song: WW4

Very quick tempo like WW3 from TTMD. He’s speaking directly to all the people who’ve been giving him shit. That’s so funny at the end when he can’t talk. I guess it’s considered a sort of interlude, but it just mirrors WW3 and that’s so cool how these two albums work together without sounding anything like each other.

Next listen: I like the static. “Here’s some rules.” This reminds me of one of his very old songs called “Anybody’s Anthem” – it opens with him talking on the school sound system with the principal yelling at him. It echoes that.

Twelfth song: Ay! Ft. Little Wayne

Two Lil Wayne features on this album is just amazing. I’ve enjoyed this song since it came out last week. I don’t even know exactly what it’s about. I don’t know if that’s people hitting blunts I keep hearing in the background, but it sounds a little different – but then I haven’t listened to it on headphones yet so that might explain the differences I’m hearing. I find that’s true of all MGK music (maybe all music in general – I haven’t really studied anyone else’s as much as I’ve studied his). The more I listen to it, the more I hear. I’m still listening to songs I heard for the first time 4 years ago and hearing things I have never heard before – an ad lib, just a different sound, a guitar lick, a drumbeat.

Listening again: I’m hearing some hums behind the “slept in and missed a meeting” part that I haven’t heard before. I feel like these two are kindred spirits. I really love the swelling drums at the end – maybe a little nod to the MCR?

Interlude (mine): The hardest thing about doing this is that it really sometimes takes me up to 5 listens to “put together” a Machine Gun Kelly song. I saw Omer Fedi said the same thing in the Billboard interview, and it’s so true. First, you just kind of get the “gist”- fast song, slow song, funny song, serious, genre, types of instruments, just kind of what the song is about. Second time, you start to hear different things in the vocals and instrumentals, and notice things like changes in tempo or flow. Third time, you catch different things in the vocals and instrumentals and start to put together the lyrics with the instruments and then the fourth or fifth time I “absorb” the song and then I know it.

That’s not just the process I have with MGK music – it’s how I am with almost all music. The difference is that I can hear other songs and not hear them again and be fine. I hear them off and on, and they’re just background and that’s fine. I love songs of all genres of music. I love melodies, lyrics. Songs are just good for my soul. But, I have to follow that process for MGK’s music because it’s very complex. Even the simplest songs on the surface have so much to them that it is very easy to just brush them off. But having lived inside his music since November of 2017, it’s worth the effort. First, I have to know the songs to go to a concert. And secondly, these songs have lyrics that you can both relate to and absorb in to your life. Even if you have absolutely nothing in common with them. And they have taught me things like empathy for people who are not like me (like MGK, for instance – we are polar opposites), like compassion for people’s circumstances, and even have helped me feel emotions from someone else’s point of view. My father is still alive and hopefully will be for a long while, but I have an idea of the pain of losing a father from MGK’s song lonely on TTMD – the pain is in his voice and I know it will be devastating, but the song will give me comfort and help me know that the same pain has been felt by others, and that I’m not alone.

OK, back to the album. Sorry, it’s getting close to the end and I don’t want it to end (even though I’ll listen to it several more times tonight).

Thirteenth song: fake love don’t last ft. Iann Dior

Are you recording? I love when he opens a song like that. He has been doing it for a long time. His collaborations with Iann Dior are all top notch songs. This is like the other side of Bloody Valentine – when he catches the flight the next day. Is that Iann with the “woooooo”? It’s amazing. Maybe it’s an instrument.

Next listen: I love the part where he says “um um I don’t care.” This is one of my favorites at the moment. A little slide on his voice right before it transitions to Iann – that’s cool. Is there clapping or is that the drums? I don’t know. I wish I knew more about music theory. I’m still not sure what’s happening with that woooo at the end but it’s so nice.

die in california ft. Gunna, Young Thug, Landon Barker

I’ve heard snippets of this one but wow this is way better than the snippet (which was obviously not finished). This is awesome. A really nice blend of genres twisted together into a melancholy story. I really like the way each of them do the chorus by themselves. I have a feeling some of the newer fans may not like this one as much because of the rap integration but I really like it, although I definitely need the extra listens on this one. I didn’t know Landon Barker was going to be on the actual album and I think that’s really cool.

Next listen: The little guitar line behind the opening sounds amazing. This is really deep. Landon sounds good – hard to believe he’s such a young guy. The first time I listened I thought it was Young Thug at first on the second part, but that’s just because I don’t really know Gunna, but once I heard the third verse I knew that was Young Thug – I knows his collabs with MGK, so it clicked right away. His voice is like a rhythm instrument; his verse is killer, honestly. I still haven’t listened to the lyrics yet. Next time.

Fifteenth song: sid & nancy

This is really different. It’s a song about relationships, obviously. It’s very dark, as you would expect. This one I’m going to need to absorb. I do like it. The gunshots at the end.

Next listen: The guitar at the beginning before the guns sounds like someone jamming in a garage to me. This is a story song, to mirror Sid and Nancy’s story, which I’m not that familiar with (although you can be sure I will be by the weekend). Remember, I’m almost 60 & was a good girl in the 80s. This is much deeper than I got on the first listen. Oh, I like the background singing towards the end. And then it trickles off into a guitar before the booms.

Sixteenth song: twin flame

Clearly a song to Megan. Oh my God. I’m sorry, I can’t write. I’m crying. This is beautiful. I love the way it brings in the no happy endings line from the first song – that’s such a full circle moment. And then how soft his voice is before the guitars kick in. I could listen to this song forever. But why did he say he is going to have to set her free. What does that mean? Did I miss something in the lyrics.

Next listen: I hope I’m ready. The beginning is a description of the start of their relationship. The way they layer his voice just adds so much depth to the vocal sound. The way he switches the tone to sound so desperate just breaks my heart, and then it trickles into a little melody, like a stream. And they’re talking on the phone. It’s so pretty and sad. Why is it so sad? It’s like a lullaby at the end but it’s heartbreaking, and then it’s like the song bursts open – all of his emotions just exploded. What changed everything? What a way to end this album. This song is breathtaking.

OK. That was a lot. I’m going to listen again. I’m going to add additional thoughts one each song. I’ll do it in a separate paragraph and label it second listen so nobody thinks I’m cheating lol.

I feel like this album is just what I said, epic, but I really can’t absorb it yet so I have to listen again, now. This time I’m going to listen on Spotify and hope that they have the lyrics up already.

After second listen: I am speechless, really. Again, I haven’t fully absorbed it but the energy from that music is like pulsing through my soul and it’s 2:15 in the morning. I’m not going to sleep. Again, but this time I won’t be tired. I’m sustained by this energy. And some jelly beans. Yes, I’m aware the sugar is energy – it was the seed for the water of the music, and truthfully, I forgot to eat the jellybeans once the music started, but I’m going to have some now because I need it. They’re Sweet-Tart jelly beans, or however you spell it. Really good.

Anyway, my summary. In closing, it’s really too soon for me to say if this will be my favorite Machine Gun Kelly album or not. Currently, that honor resides with Hotel Diablo (my review is here if you want to know what I thought about it). But, I do see the potential for it. I also think twin flame might be one of my most favorite songs ever. It takes what he did with banyan tree (interlude) and lit it up like a huge firework. I loved it so much. But I would say at this point in listening, I loved all of the songs. They’re all so different, like little jewels, but they come together and they tell the story of Machine Gun Kelly, a story he tells on every album in a completely different way. This album is knitted into all of his other albums; there are connections and joinings and nods. It is a part of the family now.

Shout out to every single person who contributed to this project. I think your flowers are on the way. I already had a lot of respect for Travis Barker although (don’t kill me) I missed a lot of the Blink era because I’m old, damn it. But I certainly respected his work on Tickets and other songs I’ve heard. But this is a whole other level of percussion, that I’ve never heard. Different than the type of percussion you hear in metal song, but a little reminiscent. I can’t really come up with the right words, but it’s like normally percussion ties a song together and sometimes you forget to notice it because unless it pauses and then comes back. The beat can be background. But on this album, the percussion does tie the songs together, it’s almost melodic, especially in the phrasing. I know what I mean but I don’t know if anyone else will. Help. Teach me about drums. I just know I love them here.

The guitars – I don’t know who all of the players were yet. I’m sure Omer Fedi plays in all of them and I wonder if Justin Lyons (who played on the TTMD tour) is also in there – he has a heavier feel in his guitar. Again, I can’t explain it because it’s a feeling. I’d be very surprised if Nick Long isn’t playing. His guitar has been a backbone of a lot of MGK’s songs, including I Think I’m OKAY. I’m sure that Machine Gun Kelly (side note: Yes, to EST it’s weird that I keep calling him MGK or Machine Gun Kelly because I call him Kells or K, but it’s just so people who don’t know him can read it) is playing guitar as well. He has this blazing strumming that I hear in some of the songs. I am sure Baze did the bass work; it was so much more prominent in a couple of songs than I normally hear and it was awesome – although I know he also did some production (as well as Slim, Omer, Travis, Kells and others – great work producers!).

The vocals were also another level on this album. I’ll start with MGK’s vocals. Again, I don’t really have the words to describe the way his vocals pierce my soul. In a good way. They’re like a lifeline he’s sending me – let my stories help you escape from your problems. They’re not nearly as raw as they used to be, but they are still raw in a good way. His voice is very unique; as Arc Rock Reactions said in a reaction to maybe that I watched today – nobody else sounds like Machine Gun Kelly, and he’s right. And no matter whether he pitches his voice up or down, slow, fast, screaming, whatever, you can always tell it’s him. Sometimes, he’s able to change his voice and then merge it into the voice of the person he’s collaborating with and that is the coolest effect ever (one example is on his song Bullets With Names – at the end of his verse, the next verse starts and for a split second you don’t recognize that it’s changed. But it’s not just with Young Thug, although I think he definitely added to that effect in Bullets With Names.). Anyway, my point is – his vocals were perfect for these songs.

And now let’s talk about the other voices on this album. First and foremost, since he’s on here twice, Lil Wayne was amazing. I missed most of Lil Wayne (as you might have guessed) but I do have a couple of his songs on my GOOD SONGS playlist, and I love his collaboration with Imagine Dragons, so I knew what he would sound like. What I didn’t know was how good they would sound together, and how much they reflect a similar “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. Nobody’s going to tell either of them how to be and that’s how it is. He was amazing. I’m just going to go from memory instead of order.

Iann Dior: I’m going with Iann next because they have several songs together, and Sick and Tired is one of Jackson’s favorites (my grandson sleeping upstairs, remember?). Iann and MGK together just is so sonically pleasing. Iann has a very smooth voice, and MGK’s is rougher, so maybe that’s it? I don’t know. I just know it’s like magic every time they sing together. There is something about his music that just magnifies the voices. Not just this album – every album. Like it elevates the vocals – like everybody always does some of their best work – and yet, they still sound like them. Anyway, Iann did great.

I’ll do Young Thug and Gunna together since I confused them and I need to apologize (not like they’ll read this but it’ll save me from having to be held accountable later). I really liked Gunna’s voice and I’ll probably go check out his songs and see if I like it (sure, tweet me your favorites). If I do, you know it, it’ll go on the GOOD SONGS playlist. Anyway, he has a very nice rhythmic rapping style (I hesitate to say too much because I don’t know a lot about the different styles of rap and I don’t want to disrespect the genre). Suffice it to say that I really enjoyed him and will listen to more. Young Thug is no doubt a genius. I enjoy him but to me his voice sounds like an instrument and not like words. If I blur my aural focus just a tiny bit, I hear no words at all but it sounds amazing. Then, when I sharpen it up, I can pick up words here and there but I have to read his lyrics to understand what he’s saying. That’s not on him – that’s on me. I’m sure if I listened to him more, it would get easier, but he’s just a different style than what I prefer, but I definitely respect him an artist and love him with Machine Gun Kelly (3 songs together – the third one is Young Thug’s song called Ecstasy – MGK has a very awesome verse on that one – although it is NSFW or children or sensitive people who like to pretend other people don’t have sex or do drugs and it’s no skin off your nose so enjoy the music. Those people, bless their hearts, are too far up their own asses to detach and just listen to the stories without picking apart everything. They would call it raunchy. “Oh no, it’s glorifying drugs.” Look, drugs are a reality for him and have been for a long time; we all know this. I don’t know if that will ever change – that’s on him. Why would he not sing about drugs when it’s such a part of his life. Anyway – both Gunna and Young Thug were a great addition to this album – it just helped blur the genre lines even more and I respect that.

Landon Barker: This is Travis Barker’s son. He was in Downfalls High (with the iconic line “I’m better than Travis Barker”). I think Landon has a really good voice. The tone is unique, and there is a slight nasal quality that actually adds to his voice. Usually for me, a lot of nasal will turn me off (read: Ariana Grande – extremely talented but hard for me to listen to; all respect to a great artist – although I’ve heard she has songs that don’t have that so if you want to suggest on Twitter, feel free). He did a great job here and added a really nice contrast to the song. It reminded me a little of some of the other rap collaborations MGK has done, like Lift Off with Mike Shinoda ft. Chino Moreno & MGK, or No Reason (The Mosh Pit Song) with Tech N9ne ft. MGK and Y2 (I had to look him up but he does a great job). It’s a nice way to weave rap and singing together. I’m not crediting MGK with this technique lest you accuse me of idolizing or thinking he invented sliced bread. I’m just saying they used that technique really well in this song so get off my back, hater. Just kidding. I’ve been dealing with haters on the internet all week. Whenever MGK does something, they crawl out of the woodwork and start replying to all of our posts with accusations, threats, derision, hate. Just trolls, really. It’s exactly what this album is about. All of that dehumanizes a person. When you dehumanize somebody repeatedly in front of them, eventually they start to feel less than human. They become a lost boy (to quote the song). If you are a person who doesn’t believe in mental illness, please see your way out. We, as humans, have a responsibility to each other to consider the impact on the mental health of people that we interact with. We are loaded guns, and a trigger could fire any one of us at somebody. So, tread lightly with people. Be respectful. These are more lessons that I’ve learned from Machine Gun Kelly’s music.

That was a lot about Landon lol. OK. Who else. Oh, of course.

blackbear: This guy and Kells together are synergy. They multiply each other’s energy and just fly up in an alien spaceship and come back with some amazing sound that is unique and each of them, separately and together. They have quite a few songs together, and I think I’m too tired to think of all of them but one of my very early favorites was End of the Road from the Lace Up album. What an inspiration that song is. Anyway, the more they work together, the better they make each other. It seems like they challenge each other and I love their work together. On his own, I love blackbear’s sound but for some reason I have a harder time connecting to his lyrics. You know the drill on suggestions. He is definitely one of my favorite collaborators with MGK.

WILLOW: What a talented young lady. She is stuffed with attitude from her toes to the top of her head and I love it. It comes through in her voice, which is really rich sounding. Something in the timbre (not sure that’s the right term) makes me think of Anita Baker, but then again, she sounds unique, so maybe not. I’ve heard the snippet from her one song on Reels on Instagram (please, I’m embarrassed, don’t ask) but I haven’t listened to her music yet. I will. I just have to stop listening to Machine Gun Kelly so much. I will, I’m sure. This can’t go on forever. People get tired of things, so why am I not getting tired of his music? Oh, back to WILLOW – I think she’s going to be a superstar (if she isn’t considered one already – I don’t really know), and I’m excited to hear her on tour. Hearing JXDN on tour really made me appreciate his music a lot more. These are such talented young people. The future of music is really bright.

Bring Me The Horizon: Saving the group for last. They just did an incredible job with maybe. I love Oli’s (I think that’s right) voice, and the scream was spine-tinglingly amazing. The edge in his voice really brought out a new edge in MGK’s voice that sounded like a new type of sound for his voice. I mean if you have listened to all of his songs, and many of you have, then you know how many types of sounds his voice has, and to hear a new one is just crazy. But, I’m sure that as he works with artists with established singing vocals like Oli, he is learning and applying those lessons to his voice. As an artist, he works harder than anyone I’ve seen. The shows, the tours. Hundreds of hundreds of shows over the last 14 or 15 years. The albums. The songs. The collaborations with a list of artists so long I could literally write a paragraph with the names. Little Mix to Lil Wayne. The Vamps to DMX. I think it’s over 100. And they’re all great songs. HOW? Anyway, BMTH – you were amazing and I’ll definitely be checking out your songs soon so hopefully people will let me know what to listen to! You remind me of some of the music I used to listen to in the 80s, but I couldn’t say how without listening to more. Respect for your work here.

I hope everybody on this album wins a Grammy and at the same time, fuck the Grammies because while this is incredible work, ALL of Machine Gun Kelly’s work is incredible work and it’s about time the world recognized it. I’m not saying you will like it all. That’s the genius in his work. He has songs that my mom likes. He has songs that children like. He has songs that rap fans like, and songs that pop punk fans like, and fans that pop or rock fans like. I happen to like all of those genres, and more, and so I like it all. I’m weird. I know that. But this music is my frequency. But his music isn’t for everybody and I fully respect you if you listen with an open mind and it just doesn’t reach you. That’s the nature of music. It’s a vibration – and everybody doesn’t vibe with the same thing. But I certainly hope that people can stop disrespecting his hard work, his journey, and his contributions to music.

People say (they’ve said it to me) that he’s stealing this or that, but that is not what he’s doing. He honors the music that inspires him by incorporating bits of it into his music. They’re tiny bits, like his nose rings – not enough for the inspiration to sound at all the same as what it inspired, but enough to awaken a memory in you if that was music that you connected to in your youth. It’s an outcome of sampling, but much more sophisticated. He does sampling and covers very well, too. He retains the essence of the original, respects it, and makes it something completely new. The artists that he samples or covers respect his work – they’ve said it. Rihanna loved his cover of her song Love on the Brain during the Lockdown Sessions. Any artist that he’s sampled on a released song is credited, just as with every artist, and in music, that isn’t stealing because they’re being compensated for their contribution.

In conclusion, finally, if you’re still here. What I’m going to do now is continue to listen to Mainstream Sellout in lieu of sleep. While I’m doing that, I’m going to reread and may add a few edits, but I’m trying to keep it in the spirit of “live writing” so I don’t want to do too much editing. Maybe fix some typos because I fucking hate them. And then I’m hopefully going to be able to post on Vocal. They’ll have to approve it and then once it’s approved, I’ll share the link on Twitter for anyone that needs something to help them fall asleep. Although if you listen to the album while you read this (as I’m going to go back and edit and suggest), you won’t possibly fall asleep. But my writing could do it on its own. Sorry, I love words so I try to use as many of them as a I can. This is why Twitter is my frenemy. Word limits. Can you imagine?

Seriously, if you have read this far, thank you so much. I appreciate you and I’m interested in your honest opinion on the album, I will respect whatever you think as long as you were fair and honest. I can tell. I’m a mom. Don’t try to act like you gave it a fair listen if you didn’t and then tell me your opinion because I will see right through you, mister. (I say mister because it is always a man). I’d also love your constructive criticism on my little art project. What do you think? Was it way too many words (duh)? Was it at least interesting? Did you feel lost by the style (the live writing) or was it easy to follow? I’ve always wanted to do this but could never figure out the right time and let me tell you tonight I was inspired by every single second of that album, especially as I continued listening. I think I started off slow at the beginning, and as a reward for sticking to the end, I’m going to tell you this secret. When I started on Tidal on the first listen, I forgot that I had it on shuffle and I listened to the first 5 songs out of order. Luckily, 4 of the songs were already released so I had heard them, but it threw me off on the writing because I had to juggle a little to get them in the right order. I decided it met my criteria of what I can change, because I had already heard the songs. Otherwise, the whole project would have been ruined just because I use Tidal to listen to MGK on shuffle, but I listen to Spotify to listen to MGK in order.

I hope no psychiatrists read this. I sound obsessive. I probably am to a small extent, but it is an obsession with the energy I get from the music and how can that be bad? I have scaled back a lot in many ways, but when you commit to EST (have I even talked about that?), you’re in and I take loyalty very seriously. It’s very hard to betray me because I’m very forgiving about so much. Because we’re all human. I get it. You don’t have to lie to me or play games. So while it may certainly seem like a mental illness to some (and most certainly to my dad), I promise you I am doing so well in my life. I have never been better. I found some writing I did in college and high school tonight, and I was a very sad child. I have had depression most of my adult life and been medicated the majority of the time. But I’m good. The energy that I get from listening to this music (could there be other ways for me to get it – maybe, but this is what I found) has propelled me out of my failing marriage and through a pile of debt to working two jobs to build up enough to buy a house, to selling that house for a great profit (yes, it was morally wrong and I’m sorry but it was the very best thing for my family and that has to help offset the morality of selling to a broker a little and if not, I’ll find another way to make up for it because this has been good for us. And good for me.) I did this on my own, absolutely, and with help from friends and family. But I promise you that the courage that I got from this music is a big part of how I did it. So thank you, for that, Machine Gun Kelly who will never read this although I was so excited to hear that he has rare books – HEMINGWAY OMG – but still, this is a freaking novel, not a reaction in writing which I hoped it would be. It’s a freaking treatise on me and my relationship to the music. It is what it is. This is the gift the album gave me and I can’t do anything any differently based on what the universe is telling me right now. Love you all and I hope we can all help music bring peace to the world. Soon. Before we lose it and, or, our humanity.

Remember at the beginning when I told you I would cheat if I added anything out of order? I’m doing that now. The above is the original end. I’m just adding this to say to go back to the beginning and read that paragraph that I wrote the day before I listened to the album and, I don’t know. I got goosebumps. It’s like they came to me out of the air ahead of the music. I’m not crazy. I’m just weird. But I’m usually only crazy at night, so don’t worry too much unless we’re going to a concert together (LACE UP). There’s a lot I didn’t say here that I wanted. EST is our movement. Everyone Stands Together. It’s for everyone. That means you. Machine Gun Kelly started it. We’re growing it. It’s about love. Join us. And now, I’m done writing and how easy was it to just put it at the end instead of all that this is the end mumbo jumbo at the beginning. May need to cheat it again and fix it later. I’ll let you know.

XX

Oh my God, will this ever actually be done. Cheating to add this at the end so now I'm really done writing after this. It needs to be within a fixed window time or it becomes just a regular piece of writing and not a capture of the inspiration from this album. I talked about the voices on the songs, but I left out Pete, Casie and Megan who all have important parts of the story. They're amazing. And so importantly, the original EST. I'm going to start with Rook because I did the other musicians to the best of my knowledge. Rook will kill these songs on tour, and for all know he could have drummed on the album. He is an incredible drummer well on the way to becoming a legend at 24. He does drum shows in nightclubs and people go crazy. Sorry to leave you out at first, Rook. Then, I need to mention the rest of the heart of EST: Ashleigh VeVerka, Andre Cisco, Irv Whitlow, Dub, Dante, and so many others that I'm about to cry because I can't think clearly at 5:20 am [and I’ll be devastated if I leave anyone out (added at 5:36 I’m sorry)] but I just wanted to acknowledge all of your contributions to this album and tell you I love you and all you've done for us (super cheat here but I had to). I'm writing this in my phone and emailing it to myself because my computer decided to update itself so I'll add it in the morning. I'm signing off. Yes, I'm listening again. Falling in love. Never fails. That's a wrap.