GAGA DISCOGRAPHY REVIEW

Can we please just talk about Lady Gaga for a moment, and then her music video for 911? Amanda Kauffman, a woman with whom I attended beauty school, told me about Gaga in 2009. "She's weird, but I like her." I bought The Fame that same day. It played in my Mercury Cougar, with a 6 slot CD magazine in the trunk, for at least three straight years. At one point in time, at least 3 of those slots were designated to Gaga like parking spots.

1. The Fame: The Fame was well produced and catchy as hell. Just Dance, Poker Face, Lovegame, Paparazzi...all of them follow the structure of a successful song. They are so good because there is a method to the madness and she decided to follow the method. Got herself in the door. Good for her. She worked really hard, just watch the Marry the Night (BTW album) video. If that doesn't clear it up for you, I'm not sure what will. I like Brown Eyes, but I like Let Love Down better. Summerboy? Please turn it up.

But why hasn't anyone started a discussion as to why she sounds COMPLETELY different on LG1 than she does on The Fame Monster and every album since? I don't mean just regarding style, her voice is literally deeper. Did she sing at a higher pitch for The Fame on purpose? Was it just the notes she chose to sing? Am I making this up in my head?

I loved every song on The Fame. There isn't a single one I'd skip.

1.2 The Fame Monster: The Fame Monster was released after The Fame, held an additional 8 songs, and was distributed with The Fame, now being marketed with The Fame Monster in a two-disc set including both albums. It had 3 hits, Bad Romance is track no.1, Alejandro is track no.2, and Telephone, which is track no.6. It's got a sort of dark and gloomy nightclub vibe to it. I love every song on this album. There isn't a single one I'd skip. I even love every song on The Remix Album and I don't care for remix albums. The Lovegame Remix with Marilyn Manson is one of my favorite remixes of all time.

2. Born this Way: Now, here's where the party changes moods. Not in a bad way, just hold on. May I gush? I attended The Fame Ball in Indiana years ago, and at the very end, she came out and told us she was going to perform something new and it was super special. We didn't know the song, so the reaction to it was unreadable. In a huge arena like that, it's hard to know what you're hearing if you don't know what to listen for. So they performed Born This Way and I'm sure it was great.

First, we had the Madonna Express Yourself & Born This Way debacle. Sorry, Madonna. One cannot copyright a chord progression. I do have to admit, when I'm singing them to myself, I often am singing the wrong song. I think I'm singing Born The Way, but I'm actually singing Express Yourself, or vice versa. Maybe it was a close call. Sometimes I just say fudge it and sing them as one. As it should be, maybe, just a thought. Isn't that a cool unprecedented idea, ladies?

BTW is when Gaga finally got to put her two cents in and break the safety mold that WILL create you a catchy hit, guaranteed, but it may not express the emotion you want to express. She started to change the way she sang and now we have "Gaga sounds." I remember telling an old friend of mine while driving in the car, "I like this part because I get to sing ugly and have it be right." It wasn't ugly, just new. In the words of George Gershwin, "There is no such thing as bad music, just new genres." It was the "Waaaah Oohwhaa ahh ahh"s in Judas in the pre-chorus that I was specifically referring to.

I think every song on Born This Way is catchy. Scheiße is one of my favorite songs on the album, but I was bummed to find the German language it taught me is just jibberish. Bad Kids was probably my least favorite on the album but I still can't help but sing it. HAIR. I love changing my hair color, so I really identify with the song Hair. I enjoy playing it on my piano. My favorites from the album are Judas, Electric Chapel, Heavy Metal Lover, maybe Government Hooker, and Bloody Mary. I feel this album is on the darker side, much like The Fame Monster.

3. Cheek to Cheek with Tony Bennet: I love the idea of this album. It's not unique in any way, and in my personal opinion, others did it slightly better. I do not care for this collection of songs from this particular duo.

4. Artpop: This album didn't impress me, at all, which doesn't really matter, but it sounded written and produced in a rush. I think when you are expecting something solid gold, and you find it's just gold plated, it's a bummer.

Now let's address that she'd just had three killer albums and she'd also broken her hip performing Scheiße at the Born The Way Ball just the day before I was supposed to go see the BTW Ball in Chicago. I felt terrible for her, but also, selfishly terrible for me. Anyway, she'd been physically and mentally out of commission. And she was probably pretty tired in general. To go that long without a break, eventually, you get a break in the hip. And her fans were fiending for, "NEW MUSIC! NEW MUSIC! NEW MUSIC!" She's a people pleaser. So she got out of her ice bath and into her 1000 karat-gold wheelchair, and she gave us some music. Some strange music.

Aura is a statement song but I have no idea what the statement is. I like Sexxx Dreams, G.U.Y. and I do really like the melody in Artpop. I had a hard time figuring out her words in a few songs. Diction, it's important. MANiCURE...I'm not sure I'm getting the message in this song. Does her man make her feel insecure, so she gets manicures on a frequent basis?

Do What You Want (With My Body) ft. R. Kelly...Why did it take her so long to realize that was a bad idea? Well, it's done. And, that led us to the very iconic performance when the last person you'd expect to save the day, Christina Aguilera, emerged from a seashell and performed Do What You Want instead of R. Kelly. I don't think it was a common belief at any time prior to this performance that Christina and Gaga were pals. In the end, they hold hands and strut their stuff together, nice to see because we don't see many females act super pleasant to each other these days. It's like the only people who can preach "girl power" have to be in gold bellbottoms. Gaga's smile was much how mine would be if I were on stage singing with one of my biggest inspirations growing up, too. That performance is one I won't soon forget.

Why a seashell? Oh right, Artpop, I very much dislike Venus. I feel as if I'm in a coffee shop on poetry night when I listen to Venus. I'm also not sure what Swine is about. Is she the swine or is she referring to a man as swine? Or both? Artpop could mean anything.

Now, hold the phone. Didn't Gaga promise us there would be a duo? Artpop 1, and Artpop 2? I thought one of them was supposed to be the more experimental album and there would be a mate? Surely this was the experimental album. Did I miss it? Did she forget? Was it because of Artflop? I apologize to anyone who loves this album, my opinion is really of no matter.

5. Joanne: I don't care for the theme or personality of this album. I understand how I'm supposed to interpret the theme after watching Gaga: Five Foot Two, which I loved, but I don't buy the theme as a whole. If Joanne needs a documentary to explain it, perhaps it's not a strong marketing strategy. In Gaga: Five Foot Two, her mom even says "don't make this a thing. Don't make it big and get upset. It's in the past. It's been in the past for a while." That's absolutely not verbatim and I haven't seen that documentary in over two years, so I could be thinking of something else entirely, but I'm almost positive I'm not.

So, what does Gaga do? She takes on the personality of a dead relative she's never met before, and creates an entire album and tour out of the pain and suffering her family worked very hard to move on from - before she was born. That's the opposite of what mom said.

We do have to be honest with ourselves. These characters and themes are thought out, discussed, and finalized. Gaga might have said, "You know, I'm feeling this whole thing about my aunt. I'm going to be Joanne and we're gonna go country for a bit." Then meetings were held to propose wardrobe stories, color palettes for marketing, venue choices, merchandise designs, key phrases, things that people will buy. Gaga is wonderful, but she's just a person, and she has a lot of people who plan and design her marketing. I don't understand the theme of the Joanne album or the personality, or rather, I don't understand their purpose.

As for the songs of the album, YES! Not all of them, but I liked a lot of them. My favorites are Diamond Heart, Sinner's Prayer, John Wayne, and Joanne. Of course, I like A Million Reasons, but I personally believe it was written to trump about American citizenship, so that's why I find it so enjoyable.

Hey, Girl kills me. I don't think Gaga's voice was produced to complement Florence Welch very well. Granted, the range of Florence Welch's is likely broader than Gaga's, but her presence completely overwhelms Gaga's which Christina didn't even do, live. If a lower range harmonic melody had been written for either one of them, I think it may have flowed, but they are both singing big, loud phrases, and ultimately sound to be reaching for the loudest note. That's kind of ironic to the literal message of the tune, "We don't need to keep on onein'-up on another." And Come to Mama? I have no comment.

But wait, she might have slept in her egg to transition. Perhaps Joanne was Gaga morphing into Ally, her A Star Is Born character. She started toning it down and being a little rawer with emotion. It was a pretty smooth transition, actually. She must have slept in that egg for a while.

6. Chromatica: About to hit "play" on Chromatica for the first time, I was nervous. I'm not sure why. I have loved this woman since I was 17. I even get jealous every time she gets engaged. I love every new album less, which is scary to think about when I'm about to listen to her 6th and thinking "how many more could there be..." Well, that's silly, just look at Britney. We're good, no need to panic. I love them less and less, but I do not love her less and less.

I have to admit, in the beginning, I wasn't sure how to feel. Stupid Love sounds A LOT like Born This Way to me, or even the intro to Do What You Want. Almost like they took a really old session file and made a new song out of it. Sometimes her songs feel like they belong on one of her other albums. I LOVE Replay, Enigma, Sour Candy, Alice, and I like the chorus of Fun Tonight. I don't love Chromatica as much as I loved Gaga's older stuff, but perhaps the newer fans love it. I do love it more than Artpop, and Cheek to Cheek. When I look at the lyrics from Chromatica without the music playing, they're more meaningful than both Artpop, and in my opinion, Joanne.

Albums 1-3 I cherish every song. I have so many favorites but if I had to pick 6 (she has 6 albums) right now they'd be Bad Romance, Monster, Speechless, Judas, Again Again, Vanity. She had quite a few unreleased tracks too. My favorites were Honest Eyes, Rock Show, No Way, Let Love Down... Hell, I like 'em all. After album 3, it's very hit or miss.

Her music videos always put me in awe. Always a real story, a mini-movie if you will. Parts of Alejandro had a total Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation feel to it. Judas, Bad Romance, and Telephone (that choreography!) are three of the best music videos I will remember for all time. At 13.5 minutes, and viewed over 88 million times, Marry The Night is also one of my favorite videos.

SOMETIMES, though, I feel like her videos are sort of hard to follow and more odd than usual. I haven't watched a new Gaga music video in a while, so I checked out 911 because it's top of the list on Youtube. Thank you Lady Gaga for giving us something else besides the twin towers to watch when you search 911 YouTube. I like this song from Chromatica, so I was hoping to really appreciate the video.

The whole time I was definitely intrigued, but I was confused. The video began with her on the ground. Normal so far. Then there is just so much randomness that perhaps isn't random, but I'm not catching the eggs. The costumes are stranger than usual. I'm thinking..."What's going on here? It's like a sultan's chessboard on crack. This isn't...this isn't the 'obvious' statement she usually makes. Maybe I missed something. Maybe she's losing it."

​Then crash! Back to reality, ope there goes gravity, she pulls it all together in the end with the most heartbreaking buzzkill I would never have imagined. One moment I'm not sure if I should turn off the video, and the next I'm crying because she really is an amazing actress. I like this song more now, and I'm sorry I doubted you, Gaga.

To conclude, I'd like to recognize Gaga for what she really is, a symbol for "Yes you can. You can have and be whatever the fuck you want and you can have respect and be at peace, too." You can overcome being on the mend from making a mistake, being bullied, lied to, helpless, falsely accused, barred or ineligible, overlooked, unhealthy, a victim of a sex crime, insecure, underprivileged, abused, manipulated, rejected a thousand times, numb, judged, developmentally challenged, used, full of rage, given a broken heart, a victim of physical violence, addicted, a masochist, confused, degraded, alone, played with, screwed over, the victim of racism... Whatever it is, we'll overcome it.

Don't freak out. Lady Gaga was mocked for her dreams and look at her now. All she ever wanted was love, all our Stupid Love, which is one of the videos I'm not passionately in love with.

Can't wait for LG7. Maybe Artpop 2? I'm not sure I can live without knowing what happens at the end of Artpop 1...