Beat logo

Behind the Beat

by Maggie Baar 2 years ago in 90s music

Missing You

Choosing just one song that has influenced my life is hard for me. Having so much trauma and loss since an early age had me to turn to music to heal my soul, it’s like my therapy. I know there is one song that always hit’s my heart hard. I first heard “Missing You” by Brandy, Chaka Khan, Gladys Knight, and Tamia, while watching the movie “Set It Off” when I was just 10 years young. There was something about this song that has always assured me that no matter who I’ve lost and how close they were to me there will always be that special place in my heart for them. When I hear this song it always makes me sad and happy all at once. As though there are a million different feelings running through my body and I just can’t help but sing along and feel all of them.

This song brings so many memories of people I’ve held dear to my heart and how so many of my friends and family have past at such young ages. My father was my first significant loss and since I was only 5 when he passed on, I don’t think I truly got to mourn him or understand just exactly what I lost. Getting older, I lost a cousin to suicide and another cousin that was overdosed in the hospital. Those were both when I was 9. My mother wasn’t around much when I was young and even when she was there it was as if she wasn’t present and there to tell me it was okay to feel sad when people died. I had my sibling’s or mostly my sister that was closest to me in age. A lot of the time she would just tell me to go away and leave her friends and her alone. One day her friend brought this movie over and we sat down to watch it together. We all laughed and cried during the movie. Ever since that day I’ve always loved this song and held it close to me like it spoke to me.

As I got older, I had lost a couple friends to suicide and freak accidents. I always thought I was so unlucky because of the amount of loss I have endured my entire life span. The pain got so bad at some points I didn’t want to feel at all but, I would always turn to this song and play it screaming the lyrics sometimes and letting all the feelings rush through my body like a tidal wave. I could never understand how someone could not keep fighting and give into the temptation of taking their own life. My life hasn’t been perfect by any means and I have been in these dark places before where I’ve felt like my life wasn’t worth continuing but I’ve always found a way out.

When I was 21, I lost a very close friend due to her taking her own life. The night before a few of us girls had got together and had a few drinks. I remember how happy she was that night and after seeing her home I had never suspected getting that call the next day with the devastating news. I had always been the friend to notice when someone was feeling down and would do anything I could to make someone feel better about themselves or what ever situation they were dealing with that made them feel anything but happiness. I wanted so badly to play that song at her service, but her mother and sister wouldn’t let me. Now when I go visit her headstone, I always play it for her and continue to ask her why she couldn’t just hold on a little while longer.

Recently, I was inspired to share my life story and won a scholarship for doing so! Following this large accomplishment there was yet another loss to suicide and it hit me so hard this time. This song played on my random playlist once again like a sign that I need to do more. I started working on a project to help people with mental illness feel like it’s not the end and that no matter what the circumstances they, have strength in them to pull through anything. This is what I’m currently working on and I feel like this song has strongly influenced me to share my story to be someone else’s survival guide to make it through some of the terrifying storms life throws at us sometimes.

90s music

Maggie Baar

Before anything I am a mother first to three amazing children. I have so many things I’m passionate about and love writing about all of them. I’m currently working on a few things and want to make a difference in the world through writing.

Read next: My Good Friend, "Chili Pepper" . . the Street Musician in San Jose Central with Only One String on His Guitar. .

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.