An Honest Review of "Lights Up" from a Woman Still Figuring Herself Out

Today, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day. Up until now, this day held little or no significance at all to me. I've never identified as gay. However, as I've gotten older, my support for the LGBTQ community has grown. I find myself gravitating towards more inclusive lifestyles and adopting a more open way of thinking, and in return, living as well.

About a month ago, I stopped putting a "necessary" label on my sexuality. I've come to learn something about labels. They're silly. They're not needed. They put people in boxes for no reason. As someone who is constantly changing and reinventing, I realized that labels were killing me. They were killing my creativity, and they were taking the joy out of existing for me.

In my 20 years of life, I can comfortably say that I've never been in love with anyone. I've been in love with ideas of people, but never with an actual, real-life person. So, I came to realize something very important: how can I confidently say I love a specific gender when I've never experienced that emotion with either?

That's something that's still quite weird for me to say out loud. It's something, up until now, that I've never shared with anyone. I was raised in a really quiet community. People aren't so open about who they are behind closed doors. I don't want to be quiet anymore. I'm done being quiet.

Harry Styles is a bright star in the galaxy that I didn't know about for a long time. Had I known of him sooner, I'm sure this process of self-discovery may have gone slightly smoother than it did. The first song I ever heard was "Sign of the Times." Needless to say, I was comforted. "Sign of the Times" was there at three in the morning when the tears wouldn't stop and I couldn't catch my breath. "Just stop your crying, it'll be alright." Even though I don't know him and probably never will, Harry gave me more comfort than any person ever had before.

This morning, at 5 AM, I was alone in my bedroom with nothing more than a dim phone screen lighting up the room. I was listening to "Lights Up" for the first time. In my sleep induced haze, I missed a lot of the connections that I made later in the day, but during that intimate time of the morning, there was one thing I knew for sure: I wasn't alone in this journey. Because of Harry, there have been so many thing that I am no longer afraid to say. I'm not afraid of not being either straight or gay. I'm not scared of not having an answer to everything right now. I'm not scared of enjoying my 20s and not worrying about what everyone else thinks of how I chose to spend those formative years.

I always feel heard when I listen to Harry's record, especially this one in particular. He speaks personally to people like me who aren't necessarily in the closet, but who are still a bit scared of what may be ahead in the future. For the first time in a long time, I feel like everything's going to be okay, regardless of what the future holds.

"Lights Up" isn't just another single. It's an anthem. It's a realization that Harry faces a lot of the same struggles we do. He's a real person, with real emotions and real feelings.

Thanks to Harry, I'm not alone in this journey. I can struggle and stumble along my path of self-discovery, and I know that it'll be alright. I don't have to have everything figured out right now. I can be confused. I can be lost, and thanks to Harry, I know it's okay.