A List of Really Bad Song Lyrics

Some people may hate me for this opinion piece, but let's be honest, some lyrics today are so poorly written that it just makes you wonder, "What the heck were these people thinking when they wrote them"? I've compiled my own list of the strangest lyrics in songs I've heard over the years. You may not agree with me. You may think I'm attacking what you deem a lyrical genius. But I am just being a realist. Whether you like these artists or not, these lyrics are questionable and I'm calling them out.

Just because a song has made my list of bad lyrics does not mean that I hate the artist or the song. It doesn't mean that I like them either. Some of these songs may even be quite catchy, it doesn't mean they're written well. Everything on this list definitely belongs here and I'm sure there are thousands upon thousands that should be added as well.

Anyways, enjoy!

We are gonna start this list off with a song that I actually like. Released on July 20, 2004, we have Southside by Lloyd featuring Ashanti.

This song actually seems pretty sweet. I take it as a wrong side of the tracks type of relationship/love song. If you just listen to the song and don't dissect the lyrics, it's really not bad. But that's not what we're here for, is it? The strange part comes at the end.

But I'll show ya (show me)

Ain't nothin but a thing (yeah-yeah-yeah)

Chicken wings on a string (baby-baby-baby)

That's how I hang (Only on the southside, southside, southside)

"Chicken wings on a string"? What? Is there anyone out there that can clear this up for me? So, he wants to take this girl out and chill, I get that. But where do the chicken wings come into play? And why are they on a string? Is this some weird slang I have never heard of? Are they going to KFC? Why does the chicken have to be on a string? I have questions.

Moving right along to song number two on my list. Rihanna, I'm looking at you. You should have known you would be on here. To sum up any Rihanna song, all you have to do is take some bad lyrics and repeat them approximately 587 times. Add a beat. Bam. A new Rihanna song.

But let's just focus on one for now. Released in 2011, Rihanna- Where Have You Been?

Where have you been

Cause I never see you out

Are you hiding from me, yeah?

Somewhere in the crowd

Where have you been,

All my life, all my life

Where have you been, all my life

Where have you been, all my life

Where have you been, all my life

Where have you been, all my life

Ok.. so it's apparent.. she wants to know where he has been. We didn't get that the first time she asked so she felt the need to put it in there five more times. He is probably hiding from your hideous song writing.

Hilary Duff. I love her. She has great music. Great movies. She is kind to animals. I even love this song. The lyrics though.. the lyrics. Sometimes artists feel the need to add something supremely stupid JUST because it rhymes. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't belong. But we sing it anyways because we like the artist or the tune is catchy. This is one of those songs for me.

Released in 2009 we have number three. Hilary Duff- So Yesterday.

But I am gonna keep your jeans

And your old black hat.

They look good on me.

You're never gonna get them back.

Atleast not today, not today, not today.

If you're over me, I'm already over you.

If its all been done, what is left to do?

How can you hang up if the line is dead?

If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead.

If you're moving on, I'm already gone.

If the light is off then it isn't on.

The most awesome advice to women everywhere. If your boyfriend dumps you just keep his jeans.

And if you and your boyfriend wear the same size jeans, maybe be glad you're not together anymore. The best part might be where she says, "If the light is off, then it isn't on." My 14 year old girl self was screaming these lyrics.. and I still sing them to this day. But.. wow. This is one of those lyrics that was just added as a filler. It's a preservative.

Clay Aiken- Invisible

A horrible song let down by an even more horrible "artist" for lack of a better word. I'm not gonna post the lyrics.. because the whole song is stupid and I don't want to fill this up with bad Clay Aiken-ness. This song is stupid for many reasons. For one, why would you admit to anyone that if you were invisible, you would watch them in their room? No one wants to hear that. I don't even like my cats in my room when I'm changing.

"If I was invisible, I would be the smartest man." Clay.. either you are already the smartest man, or you're not. As far as I know, invisibility doesn't change your IQ.

"Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life." You can't just try and make total nonsense into poetry by adding words like 'colors' and 'touch' Finally, I think you need to face facts.. when you say, "Even when I scream out, baby, you don't hear me." I become concerned. Why are you being so aggressive? There is no need to scream. This person clearly isn't interested in you and they don't want to hear all the creepy things you would do with invisibility.

Kesha- Tik Tok

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy

Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city

Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack

'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes

Trying on all our clothes, clothes

Boys blowing up our phones, phones

Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs

Pulling up to the parties

Trying to get a little bit tipsy

This is keshas first single and she hasn't really gone anywhere since. all of her songs sound the same and they're mostly about getting hammered. Honestly, I can't even imagine where she was going from the first line of this song. "Wake up in the morning feelin like P Diddy." How? I have nothing else to say to that except, How do you feel like P Diddy? Because I don't understand. She goes on to tell us that she brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack. She explains that this is because when she leaves for the night, she ain't comin back. I have an issue with this. You can't defend to me the desire to brush your teeth with whiskey. In fact, I think if your goal is to find someone to spend the night with, your chances must decrease if your teeth are brown and your breath stinks like a day old Jack and Coke.

Mmmbop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du

Yeah

Mmmbop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, Ba du dop

Ba du bop, Ba du dop

Ba du

Yeah

Oh yeah

In an Mmmbop they're gone

Yeah yeah

You had to know this was coming. These can barely be called lyrics. Half the lines of this song are dimly lit attempts at existentialism while the other half are not even comprised of actual words. We learn about relationships being able to disappear in an mmmbop, which I assume is some measure of time, comparable to a minute. At one point, Hanson says, "In an mmmbop, they're not there. Until you lose your hair, no, but you don't care." Which I can't understand. Apparently mmmbopping has quite a bit to do with hair loss because they mention it several times.

Black Eyed Peas- My Humps

I met a girl down at the disco, she said hey hey hey lets go

you can be my baby and I can be your honey

and lets spend time not money

mix your milk with my cocoa puff.

Milky Milky cocoa.

Mix your milk with my cocoa puff.

Milky Milky right..

There are many songs dedicated to the female form. They are all generally stupid. To try and rank which is stupider isn't fair. So suffice it to say that the song, "My Humps" is a representative of an entire genre. It is representative on my list mainly because at one point, Fergie says, "My humps" ten times in a row. You win. My humps is stupid enough to say one time. It would be stupid enough to just slip it into one verse.. but to make it the title and the focal point of the entire song is just ridiculous. Throughout this song, Fergie talks about all this crap she gets from having "lovely lady lumps". Fergie tells us she gets "Ices, Dolce and Gabanna, Fendi and then Donna." She is also given "Seven jeans and True Religions." and, never the mooch, she tells us that "I say no, but they keep givin.." Apparently if you have lumps and humps like Fergies, You can acquire a great amount of material goods. What a wonderful celebration of the female anatomy.

Spice Girls- Wannabe

Now, as much as I absolutely adore the Spice Girls, it had to be said. This might be their biggest song. It also has the strangest lyrics. It's catchy though, so I'm still gonna be listening to it.

If you wanna be my lover

You gotta get with my friends

Make it last forever

'Cause friendship never ends.

Not sure what an orgy has to do with proving someone wants to be your lover? I'd rather not have a whole mess of crabs and stds spread between me and my friends, thank you very much.

Limp Bizkit- Nookie

I did it all for the nookie (Yeah?)

The nookie (Yeah?)

So you can take that cookie

and stick it in your (YEA!)

stick it in your (YEA!)

stick it in your (YEA!)

Well that is just plain rude.

Nicki Minaj- Stupid Hoe

Ayo SB, what the F**** good? We ship platinum,

them bitches are shipping wood

'Em nappy headed hoes, but my kitchen good

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish a bitch woooooooooooooooooould.

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe [x3]

You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)

You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid) (stupid, stupid)

Ok... I think what she's tryin to say here is, you a stupid hoe. Must have taken her minutes to write this song. Lyrical genius right here. This song is the "hold my beer" of a repetitious Rihanna song. Even BET banned it. Can't say I blame them. This song was never good. It isn't catchy. It isn't witty. This song is plain awful. I have never met a single person who liked it.

Big Sean- Dance A**

A** a** a** a** a**

A** a** a** a** a**

A** a** a** a** a**

Stop…..now make that motherf***** hammer time like…

Wobble-dy wobble-dy

wa wobble wobble

I'm st-stacking my paper

my wallet look like a bible

I got girlies half naked

that s*** look like the grotto

How your waist anorexic

and then your a** is colossal

Drop that a** make it boomerang

Take my belt off b**** I'm Pootie Tang

Tippy tow tippy tay you gonna get a tip today

WHY?! Why is this song even a thing. Every word in this song is complete trash. Someone take his album privileges away. I mean all he did was sprinkle in a bunch of nonsense and some expletives. Stop it already. This is not music.

I think I'm gonna wrap this up. I mean it can't possibly get any worse than that last one. So that concludes my list of bad lyrics. As I said in the beginning, I'm, sure there are tons more that could be added but frankly, my ears hurt and I need to step away from the bad music. Enjoy the list and thanks for reading!