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7 Childhood Songs That Were Wildly Inappropriate

We all had those songs we REALLY shouldn't have sang during family road trips.

By Elisabeth Published 7 years ago 3 min read
Top Story - August 2017

Ah, the 90s. It was the height of cheesy romantic comedies, iconic hip-hop tracks, boy bands, and of course, inappropriate songs every 90s baby couldn't help obliviously sing along to.

Yup, if you were a nineties baby like me then most likely, you're familiar with all those amazing tracks the radio loved to play and left you belting out every word either in the house or during road trips... WITH YOUR PARENTS (!!) There were a plethora of songs with hidden innuendos your innocent ears and brain had no right knowing yet.

Lucky for me, my parents didn’t care to listen to the lyrics of the songs I was listening to, so they were most likely as oblivious as I was. But now, as an adult, reintroducing myself to some of my favourite childhood tunes has brought all those hidden innuendos to light and, have me a bit red in the face that I sang these tunes in-front of my parents at such a young age.

So with all that said, here are some of my favourite childhood songs that were completely inappropriate.

Probably one of the most popular innuendo-filled pop songs, O-Town's "Liquid Dreams," had Making the Band and female pop music fans singing all about male wet dreams at the ripe age of ten years old. Full disclosure: I was actually so confused about the concept of this song.

Having regained popularity thanks to Magic Mike, Ginuwine's “Pony” was always on back in the day. And after the fourth listen there was just no getting it out of your head or refusing to sing along to it anytime it came on the radio. Unbeknownst to me, that I was belting out a song where “riding a pony” didn’t actually mean a cute little beautiful-maned creature... I was very young, okay!

British girl group B*Witched did a stellar job in covering up the true meaning of this pop, sugar-coated track. Honestly, who would’ve thought this song was about sex!? All I cared about was how fun and up beat it was to sing along to.

The Spice Girls were my favourite girl group growing up. I wanted the same platform sneakers they had, I mimicked the peace sign, watched Spice World so many times there’s a part on my VHS tape that skips… their music was it for me. And while yes, I found out all about “Wannabe” a few years back, what I recently discovered because, again, I’m oblivious—there’s a very good chance “Say You’ll Be There” is about friends with benefits relationships.

“If you, put two and two togetherYou will see what our friendship is for, ohIf you, can't work this equationThen I guess I'll have to show you the doorThere is no need to say you love meIt would be better left unsaid.”

Yeah, I think I’ve worked this equation pretty well. At least in my interpretation, that is.

Okay, this 112 track is probably the worst one, not because it’s a bad song—far from it actually. No, because it’s about well, let’s just say a specific sexual act... This was so kinky and there I was, an eleven year old, thinking it was about actually eating peaches with cream.

This song by the Backstreet Boys wasn’t a single but they were my favourite boy band (still are), so I had to add it. Since I was only seven years old when it was released on their Backstreet’s Back album, how was I going to pick up on it being about how a “bad boy” was the way to go to have mind-blowing sex. How guys? How!!??

I’ll be honest, I had zero idea what this song by Next was about. All I knew was that it was damn catchy and these guys just really liked singing about dancing with their girl… Yeah, no. It’s about sexy dancing with your girl to the point when a part of the male anatomy starts “coming up.” You know, “making an appearance." “Saying hello”… okay, I’m done.

90s music

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