Hey my name is Yvette.
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Twitter : @yoruichi1218
I don’t know I have no clue what I’m doing, all I know is that I want you. I don’t know how to get you or how I should move to have you but I know I don’t have to change myself to do it. I need to learn a way to control my feelings but it’s all or nothing with me and the grey area shit drives me crazy not knowing where I stand or even if I have a place in your mind. I don’t want to push you away with how I feel but I don’t want you to forget about me either even though I feel unforgettable it’s always the ones I like that end up disappearing. I do too much and I’m falling into the same patterns as before I feel like I should just stop now before this ends up the way all my other situations have before.
By Yoruichi 3 years ago in Poets
What do you do when you’re stuck in a rut do you make a fuss or shut the fuck up. Everyone has been there before but isn’t quite sure how they got off the floor. I find my self listening to frank ocean and crying about how I want more but how do I start to obtain when I’ve never had anything before.
I’ve been thinking about what I need and want and if I needed to compromise between the two. I’ve learned that the misconceptions I’ve had about what I wanted are not true and that I can have my cake and eat it too. I don’t want to tie you down and make you feel like you have no freedom in what you want to do. I want to care and feel cared for I want to give myself to you and know that there’s more to our feelings than just what physically meets the eye. When you cry I want to cry and find comfort in the hugs along with the genuine consolidation we give each other. I want to know that we have each other knowing no one could ever take anything from us. I just want to know you give a fuck about me not just about my body. I want you to find me beautiful and feel a loss when you cannot have me. I want to build up a relationship of comfort understanding and mutual empathy. I want to be able to come to you for anything no matter what I’m going through and for you to come to me knowing I got you and will support anything that you do. I want safety and security knowing that as long as you’re with me nothing can breach the wall you’ve curated around me. I’m not saying I want a relationship even though it sounds pretty close. I’m honestly not ready for that and the thought of giving myself to some like that terrifies me. I wanna be able to look into your eyes and know you won’t lie to me. I want to have conversations about the moon planets and the stars talking about aliens and what’s it’d be like to live on mars. I want to look into your eyes and know that you’ve got a piece of my heart and seeing you smile taking in the curves of my face letting me know our bond sure is something far beyond then what we originally thought.
5 o’clock in the morning and my mind is just racing Tryna figure out how to be better then I start pacing pacing Back and forth back and forth
Sometimes I feel high but most times I feel like shit. One day I would smile so hard my cheeks would hurt and I would laugh over stupid shit that didn't make sense. I would talk to my friends and engage in conversation.Then the next day I would hate myself for showing that vulnerable side of myself to others, the me that is carefree and laughs is who I love to be but I end up punishing myself for things that should come natural. I slice my legs and arms and scream telling myself I'm disgusting and don't deserve happiness because of what I let happen to me.
I’ve been contemplating the latest human condition how being fake and superficial has become the new religion where social media is validation and no love, no trust, and work yourself to death has become the new mantra.
(2/26/20) I’m so cold My mind has been taken over by my inner thoughts You ruin everything You’re so fucking worthless
You did this to yourself You have no one to blame You’re playing with peoples emotions What could you possibly fucking gain
By Yoruichi 4 years ago in Poets
I just want to be normal. I want to be able to walk around and not keep my head down when walking down the street. And when touched not having to hold in the panic attack that is ready to bubble over but have to wait till I get out of the public place.
Who’s to say I’ll live to die another day What will I look back on and have my loved ones be so proud of What have I accomplished that spoke volumes that moved mountains that inspired lives or instilled hope
